Submissiveman2u Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 As much as i try to find a relationship, i can not get past first base, i wrack my brains as to where i keep going wrong. I am always courtious and never top, whom i speak to and try to choose my communication carefully. I have come to the conclusion, the single Dominant women, have so much choice of potential subs, unless you fit their exact criteria, they will forget you in an instance and move on with no chance to prove oneself.
Deleted Member Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 I actually think that it is a blessing in disguise. If they have such a personality its better to not get involved with them in the first place. For me personally, I would like for my partner to be a little more adjusting. I dont want a partner that is so stubborn and stupidly strict like the ones you just described.
Deleted Member Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 It's seems to be a common thing. Men have become one dimensional chuck away item in today's world for women. With the belief that we are all driven one way and have no feelings to hurt. Sad very sad 😔
LOLO7 Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 Funny I find the same thing for me a female sub. I think for me it’s my age and inexperience and my wanting to be a exclusive sub? Idk. Good luck!
ey**** Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 I don't think that women necessarily have the choice that's implied. And, I also don't think it's bad to have criteria. I guess - firstly - if you're getting to 'first base' then you're meeting people which is a start. Where are you finding people? Is it online? Via your local community? A mix? I've found what has helped me a little is a mixture of both. I think it's important to try not to be too downhearted and, well, keep learning and working on yourself and trying to learn things which could potentially make you more interesting. I note you wish to be a slave, but also list activities you like - can I suggest a little bit of a half-way compromise kind of like "I wish to be a sub or slave, my interests include" - because, like, you say "treat my like the piece of shit I am" - nobody wants a piece of shit. They want a good sub, a good slave... someone useful to them who is good to be around. I don't believe you're a piece of shit, I believe you're a good person and so telling that part of you is a potentially better prospect.
Si**** Posted January 4, 2020 Posted January 4, 2020 As a Dom, if I talk with a possible sub and it’s just not a good fit/no chemistry/ mismatch then I always say so and give constructive feedback. It doesn’t matter if a D/s relationship moves into play, a relationship starts with talking and a first meet up. By that time, the welfare of the sub is paramount including their emotional state of mind. If a Dom drops a sub without helping them with any support over being unwanted, they are failing in their role. Don’t be down hearted, see it as a good sign that they didn’t consider you at that point and it would have been worse if you had given them any more of your time. I hope you find what you are seeking.
Submissiveman2u Posted January 4, 2020 Author Posted January 4, 2020 5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I don't think that women necessarily have the choice that's implied. And, I also don't think it's bad to have criteria. I guess - firstly - if you're getting to 'first base' then you're meeting people which is a start. Where are you finding people? Is it online? Via your local community? A mix? I've found what has helped me a little is a mixture of both. I think it's important to try not to be too downhearted and, well, keep learning and working on yourself and trying to learn things which could potentially make you more interesting. I note you wish to be a slave, but also list activities you like - can I suggest a little bit of a half-way compromise kind of like "I wish to be a sub or slave, my interests include" - because, like, you say "treat my like the piece of shit I am" - nobody wants a piece of shit. They want a good sub, a good slave... someone useful to them who is good to be around. I don't believe you're a piece of shit, I believe you're a good person and so telling that part of you is a potentially better prospect. Yes your right, thank you for pointing that out i apreciate it, i like the extreme degridation but there is certainly a lot more to me.
Submissiveman2u Posted January 4, 2020 Author Posted January 4, 2020 5 hours ago, Hotplay said: As a Dom, if I talk with a possible sub and it’s just not a good fit/no chemistry/ mismatch then I always say so and give constructive feedback. It doesn’t matter if a D/s relationship moves into play, a relationship starts with talking and a first meet up. By that time, the welfare of the sub is paramount including their emotional state of mind. If a Dom drops a sub without helping them with any support over being unwanted, they are failing in their role. Don’t be down hearted, see it as a good sign that they didn’t consider you at that point and it would have been worse if you had given them any more of your time. I hope you find what you are seeking. Thank you, yes your right those that ghost and ignore are not worth my efforts anyway.
Deleted Member Posted January 5, 2020 Posted January 5, 2020 I have read your profile and would advise looking at rewriting. For me it has many red flags. You wish to have a female led relationship yet have not mentioned any qualities that you have to offer said relationship. A real life relationship is about finding a true connection. You do however list your wants. A true submissive wants to please his Mistress. Fulfilling her needs should in turn fulfil yours. Personally I see “relationship” & “ play” as 2 different entities. I play at events with various people but a partner is the person I go home with. Of course with a partner you get the best of both worlds. Good luck with your search maybe check out my post on this forum re Approaching a Domme. This may assist when thinking about your profile Jinx💙
Mz_Whiplash Posted January 5, 2020 Posted January 5, 2020 You and I have spoke a few times in chat. A few things maybe for you to mull over in your head: Yes its good to know the direction on your kinks, and yes its rather important to find a person with similar interests. Kink is not a relationship its an aspect of you only, its not the complete you... ask yourself what is the complete you.. you're personal qualities. From my perspective I want a complete package... ie having somone that I can enjoy my kink with and who enjoys it as much as me on a completely different level i need a man that will treat, respect, confide, trust, have fun with on an equal basis .... kink is separate to a relationship... in a relationship... there has to be a balance. Having ur cake 24/7 will believe me either get very boring or... you will become very damaged.
BigPolly Posted January 5, 2020 Posted January 5, 2020 Ok as a fellow sub I tend to agree with what Dommes have said. I have fantasies & kinks but as a sub I would never consider it my place to state ‘what I want’. That is a discussion between myself & a Dom/Domme with my desires & limits discussed & agreed. Yes the profile states ‘fantasies’ but maybe try listing your wants as a fantasy not as a detailed wish-list as you have. So for example I am a masochist but as a sub my wishes will always remain a ‘discussion’ & not a requirement. My role is to perform in such a way that brings unadulterated pleasure to the person I play with/for. Any pleasure or *** that I then receive will be a reward/punishment & not a requirement. However that doesn’t mean you have to play for no pleasure in return, these things are agreed early doors & if someone doesn’t match you or you have no connection then it is your right to walk away at ‘first base’, but they also have that right. It is anyone’s prerogative to walk away if the person they are talking to does not fit their criteria. This may not be your sticking point, it is simply my ‘sub’ opinion after reading your profile. 😊
Phoenyx Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 On 1/4/2020 at 3:27 AM, submissiveman4u said: As much as i try to find a relationship, i can not get past first base, i wrack my brains as to where i keep going wrong. Unfortunately, I cannot see any way, not to make this a hard lesson. Not to say that you can't handle it. I'm sure that you can. Still, it may be ***ful, having to accept what needs to be done. Now, if you're trying to get to "First Base", you need to quit swinging for the fences. You'll strike-out every time. Go slow. Edit your approach. Just get the ball into play. You wish ***. That can always be negotiated at a later date. First, you must prove yourself worthy to serve, before you can select the "flavor" of your service. Of course, I can only speak from my own perspective, and possibly that of the women who have served me. Still, though gender roles are reversed, you might find some of this useful. In screening prospective slaves, I need to know that they are stable, and can support themselves---their own job, their own place, their own transportation, etc... I may be a Lord and Master. But, I am not a "Sugar Daddy!" Any prospect must prove that they can serve themselves, before I deem them worthy to serve others. Even then, don't expect to be "full time". More than likely, it will be just a couple days a week. Even once you have achieved a rapport with your Domme, you may not get all of the time that you crave. Like everyone else, she may have other life obligations, that keep her away. ***? It is "devotion" that gets my attention. Without trying to sound pretentious, those who come to me, wish to "drink from my presence". They wish to share my power, not be crushed by it. They are not the ones who grovel at my feet. They are those who sense my moods, who try to free me from the mundane, who wish to see me truly happy and able to grow. They are not the worms that I crush under my heel. They are the loyal cat that curls-up on my lap. Can you be that person? Sure, I could order you to bring me a cup of coffee. I could then slap the tray out of your hands, for whatever insignificant transgression that happens to come to mind. "NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! Clean up this f'ing mess!" As you now crawl about on your hands and knees, I could kick you onto your side, just out of spite. But, what did you get out of that? Anyone can be a bastard or a bitch. It's not hard. See, I just did it. I know this may not be your cup of tea. But, let me present a different scenario. A slave silently brings me a cup of coffee, that I never asked for. She did it, simply because she knew that it would make me happy, at that particular moment. "Thank you", I say, in a quiet, almost whispered tone. As I gently tug on the ring of her collar, I give her light kiss on the forehead. "You just spoil me so." If you have never served in a way similar to this, you cannot possibly know the feeling of that particular moment. Trust me though, it is powerful. Well, I hope this was of some help. I know that it was not what you wanted to hear. "The Scene" has a way of tearing at your emotions, when things don't go as hoped. Still, try not to feel discouraged. Work through the emotional ***. Look upon this as another strength gained, a new step through the mist. I truly hope that you find what you seek---not just what you think you want.
Vandalslut Posted January 7, 2020 Posted January 7, 2020 4 hours ago, phoenyx said: A slave silently brings me a cup of coffee, that I never asked for. She did it, simply because she knew that it would make me happy, at that particular moment. "Thank you", I say, in a quiet, almost whispered tone. As I gently tug on the ring of her collar, I give her light kiss on the forehead. "You just spoil me so." If you have never served in a way similar to this, you cannot possibly know the feeling of that particular moment. Trust me though, it is powerful. No words....
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