Best ways of connecting

[si****]

What are the best ways of connecting with people, and ultimately finding a partner? Sending d**k pics seems so last decade

Seriously, I don't think munches would be for me, as I am quite a shy person. I also don’t want to message every female on the site within a certain radius, as I think that would be creepy. 

Any advice would be appreceiated.

[SissyRIanne]

If you don't take the initiative you'll never find someone, fact is that dominant females get enough people messaging them as is so you'll need to find a way to stand out to them, I don't think messaging a lot of females who you are interested in qualifies as creepy, as long as your messages are polite and not creepy.

[ey****]

Sending a dick pic has never been an appropriate way to connect with people.

munches indeed aren't for everyone but I still feel to look at them as a resource, you can never have too many friends.  And a good munch is designed to help you make new friends.  But still...

you're also right that messaging every lady within a radius is both creepy and, well, obvious.  

Being active helps - and what that means can vary.

Speaking wholly about this site you can find you build rapport via the chat or by contributing to the forum.  There are those you may feel drawn to, or who feel drawn towards you and that's good way to maintain somewhat of a connection.   Of course, sods law dictates they'll live in somewhere totally unpractical to meet up regularly, as is life, but it's something that might help boost your confidence.

Mind, personally I think we're overdue another forum meet but that's another point ;)  

[si****]

@SissyRIanne whilst I get your point about taking the initiative I am not sure sending a lot of messages, no matter how polite, would be good. I am sure there are many people of here that at some point ignore most of their messages due to the sheer volume.

@eyemblacksheep Thanks. I think that you are right about being active, I do find that difficult due to my lack of experience in most matters, but I think @SissyRIannepoint of taking more initiative is something I need to do. Also the "sending dick pics" was a joke

 

[ey****]

experience is something that can be gained - just by being involved and active.

I thought it might be a joke (tone/internet) hence not being too harsh with it

[Deleted Member]

Send personalised messages for the best response. I ignore any hi or hey messages by default. Pick something you like on their profile and say a sentence or two about it. I can't speak for all women obviously but to me a one word message is lazy and basically asking that i come pay you attention for no good reason aka never going to happen.

[SissyRIanne]

@sissylexyjust like @Devonsubuksays, personalized messages are best, yes I have a lot of people I messaged and I've never had a response from quite a few of them,  but on this site unless you pay for vip membership you only get to send one message every 90 days if the other person never responds to your first one, so try to put some effort into that one. Unfortunately it's very hard to find a domme with matching interests, so don't put all your eggs into one bucket and spread your search as much as you can I'd say. 

Edited January 11, 2020 by SissyRIanne

[si****]

@Devonsubuk, @SissyRIanne thanks for the advice. It's great to get other perspective, it will make me look at things. I think being shy and submissive I have tended to have a "wait for something to happen" approach, which I think, as you all have suggested, I need to be more active and initiative some of the conversation and interactions.  

[Deleted Member]

Talk,be polite,respectful.Show before all else you are a nomal(ish)human being who cares about others and doors will open.Whats wrong with messaging multiple people??Nothing for me if you are attracted to them.If they don't reply then you know they are not interested so you leave them in peace.Its just a message and all things start with chat.Many are shy and that's why the internet and sites like this are such a wonderful thing,you can learn about each other so if a meet were ever to happen you already have some measure of a connection and it does help with those dreaded nerves.Most of all though be honest,be yourself,don't hide want you truly are and that way any connection you make will be a real one and a great foundation to maybe build something real 😊

[ey****]

some thoughts

Personalised messages / Multiple People

like a lot, depends on the context.  Imagine there's a massive surge in members to the site and there are 10 new people in your local area. And you maybe get a little excited because you would feel this increases your chances of, well, at least a coffee.

If you message all 10 the same copy paste message then, we kinda know there's chances this is obvious and also a likelihood some of these people know each other in real life. And talk.

Likewise, even if you personalise it a little bit - there's still a "yeah, I also got a message from him"

In the local scene there's an ongoing joke that whenever a new lady turns up at a munch someone will give 2-3 names and ask if any of these people have messaged them (or they'll raise they were messaged by them) and there are guys who are pretty much known for sitting on a rival site waiting for new ladies to sign up to try to message - and as well as being quite predatory it's also quite obvious.

(Incidentally, I set up a profile for my clip store on that site and, yep, within a very short space of time every one of those guys had messaged)

I think some of this is that when you see someone's profile or interact with them there's a difference between "they could be cool; it'd be nice for a coffee and 'see how things go'" and the "OMG! I have to meet them" and some of this can also come across in messages

But yes, it is possible to be interested in multiple people but context is important.   If you're looking for a monogamous romantic relationship then telling 2-3 people you want to be committed to them can raise a smile ;) 

 

[SissyRIanne]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

But yes, it is possible to be interested in multiple people but context is important.   If you're looking for a monogamous romantic relationship then telling 2-3 people you want to be committed to them can raise a smile ;) 

 

I want a monogamous romantic relationship with someone who's kinky, and when I first started looking i'd only message those 2-3 people you're talking about, and tell them I would like to start talking to them and be eagerly waiting to hear back from them, and then weeks go by and you've still not heard a response, or maybe one ended up being someone who requires a fat tribute. That's why I have no shame in messaging way more people nowadays, because the replies come back so slow(and in more then 50% not at all) most of the time that it's not worth for me to wait for a certain person to write back to me