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I need to write a COVID version of the classic, written by Lionel Bart and made famous by Max Bygraves.

But there used to be crowds, people would meet, chatting face to face
But now it's not allowed, we need to stay 6 feet, apart in an open space...

So for the time being, making connections and meeting outdoor maybe in a park or whatever. Chatting.

Young horny guy who loves sex, especially pussy licking. Switch but my biggest turn on is sub. I do enjoy being in control and fucking girl how she wants, hard. Love to ***, spank and pull hair as I make her moan from my big dick.
On the other hand I love a woman to control me, tell me exactly what she wants and make me do it, I'm there to please. Find not being in control a real turn on. Would be nice to find an experienced domme or mistress to train me as a sub. New to the fetish world but wanting to find out more. Love a woman in lingerie especially stockings, they're hot. Tend to lean toward curvy women, definitely a bum man. Open to chatting and also meeting someone. Drop me a message.

Looking for play partners as well as potentially a long term relationship.
I am Greek, vegetarian, professional by day, and into meditation, spirituality and growth.
Face pictures available for friends.

im a very open minded sexually oriented, straight dominate Scorpio, and as you may or may not know SCORPIOS INVENTED sex!! LOL So CAUTION a net may be required! I'm also in love with music and a multi instrumental musician, passionate, trustworthy,honest, responsible, dependable,fair, hard-working,truthful, upfront, loyal, Respectful,intelligent, sexually comfortable, openminded, experimental,  adventures, fun, easy going,  understanding, forgiving, creative, polite, confident  and i have no criminal record!  Being, that my zodiak sign is Scorpio sexuality is a big part of who I am, and I have an abundance of sexual energy, stamina, and insight into a woman's needs both physically and emotionally.
Im a fun and kinky guy!

I'm looking for some fun. A woman to dominate me. Tie me up or sit on my face. A girl with a strap on to make me suck and fuck me. I like them big and inside me . I'm bi so if any guys want to hit me up for some head or to fuck me I'm down. I will let a couple or more guys do anything to me. I'm also into a man woman couple looking for a third. If the guy is bi that's great. Or straight guys that will let me give you head.

I am looking for submissive(s) who can take part in my life's experiences and who would share my hedonistic lifestyle activities.
The intelligence as so as open mind is a must - I do not look for a doormat or simple fucking meat.
Seeking female submissive(s) (or couple) who would like to taste mature Master and need a direction, control, obedience training and discipline.
I am looking for submissive woman (or couple) who is willing to submit to something out of the ordinary, including intimate examinations, breast exams, rectal exams, toys and other delights such as restraints and punishments including spanking, canes or strap.
Your limits (if any) will be agreed prior to play and none of the procedure used will damage, permanently harm you in any way. I can also consider play with couple, but sexually using the female only. I consider to use male subs as part of play and additional gadget.
I will give and in return expect absolute discretion regarding the details of any meetings between myself and any submissive.
Age, race, etc. does not really matter what matters is the confidence and openness that a relationship with me would require.
You must be genuine and seeking more than a one night.
Principally UK but would travel for the right proposal.
Feel free to mail me.

I'm a mature dominant male looking to meet very submissive friends - females, males and transexuals. Size, age is not important.
Interests include, but not limited to: role-play, age-play, spanking, bondage, nipple pinching-twisting, face-slapping, breast punishment, verbal - , etc.
I am not into: ***, watersports, needles, permanent marking, child porn.

Likes:
Foot/sock/shoe/boot worship and licking
/
Spitting, bondage, ashtray and smoking, foodplay, mild cbt, facesitting, tease and denial.
Sissification, feminisation, chastity

Limits:
Anal, illegal, family, permanent, extreme , pee,

Hi,I would love to meet a lady who will fart on me and in my face. I would love to lick het arsehole too as she farts. I would also love to watch a couple fuck and maybe because i'm bi curious suck her hot juice off his cock and maybe play with her but no sex needed.

I need a mistress to tie me up and right my face. To come in my mouth and me to do anything she wishes. wear strap on. d me to be Sissy cum slut for her. Make me suck cock for her or clean up after the bull gets done in her

I enjoy eating woman out until they orgasm hard, woman do not get the time down there they deserve. NSA fun until all is contented with a smile on their face. If I don't got nail marks on my back I haven't been doing properly and all will be disappointed. I get turned on most if one squirts in my mouth and it would be rude not to swallow all of it. If you fancy a go we can message and see if we are suitable. x

Looking for kinky women to explore these fetishes with me. I'd love to be your human toilet to eat all your pee and shit! If youre kinky enough to want to give this a try then get in touch!also looking for facesitting/farting Preferably in Wales area but can travel.

6"3 male sub wanting a mistress bbw ideally to do regular barefoot trample and foot worship sessions..... any weight.... someone comfortable with barefoot face and head trample with plenty of bouncing and jumping on me

I want a mistress who will control my life online. I am into BDSM, ABDL, FEET/TOES, PISS PLAY, FACESITTING, and a little bit of SISSIFING. I am looking for a online mistress only. I am a very good listener.

Panty Worship ,all over body Worship ,total oral from head to toe and any and all points in between ,Facesitting Rimming anything you desire ,sometimes need OTK Hairbrush ,Dominate me to suit your needs ,seeking attached Lady for discreet NSA meetings

I identify as a Pleasure sadist but also a dominant who has multiple facets. I am primal yet sensual, Sadistic yet nurturing like a Daddy .
I am straight.
I am looking for a submissive.with whom I connect , whose needs, wants match mine .
It is the chemistry that will have a bearing on how we play and progress forward.
I have found out that communication , consent and respect are important in establishing any kind of rapport or dynamic.

My kinky experience and skills:

• Various forms of sensory experience to include either lighter forms of touch, or impact (stingy or thuddy, often complementary), with or without some forms of sensory deprivation such as blindfolds.
  

• Sensual encounters: massages for instance
  

• Restraint in various forms,
  

• Impact only sessions,
  

• Orgasm/squirt sessions,
  

• Teasing and edging to include a variety of depths/speeds/angles,
  

• Yoni massage
  
  I am an adept of RACK, consent, respect and communication.
  
  I am also very comfortable in cuckold/Hotwife dynamic. I love to create an atmosphere, a setting where all are happy to be involved or not in case of the cuck.
  
  If any of the above resonates with you, please get in touch! Who knows, we may be a match.
  I
  Feel free to ask for more details if any of the above resonates with what you're looking for.
  
  In the vanilla world, I am educated, interested in movies, reading, current affairs, History, music, sports , cooking , Scandinavian TV Series or Nordic Noir.
  
  I am unable to see the pics of those who sent me a spank or a flirt. if interested just drop me aline and we will take it from there.
  I CAN NOT SEE WHO SEND ME A SPANK!
  Put this cat on
  .../\„,„/\ your profile
  ..( =';'= ) to show
  ..../♥♥\ that you are
  ..(.|.|..|.|.) against
  *** cruelty.

I looking for a Mistress to serve be owned and obey. I'm open for LTR with my Mistress but not for a ***.
My fetish: servant for a mature Mistress, role play, body worship, facesitting.
Feel free to message me xx

I’m looking for a leather mistress that I can be a slave to and one that needs her boots and leather licking clean. Her strapon that needs sucking and fucking me hard like the dirt slave I am and need to be told that

Hi,

I am looking for a curvy aggressive woman with a needy pussy and a full bladder! I enjoy face-sitting and want to drink every drop of your golden nectar and have my face ridden till you are done!

Would especially love to have a woman sit on my face drink wine or beer while she watches her favorite porn or movie etc. and never get up to pee. Let me suckle on your pussy eat you out and drink your nectar.

I need to lick n clean ur sweaty ass n pussy old n darker mistress is great for me I can be used Thursday Friday n Sat evening if u are married n need cream pie eaten out of ur ass or pussy that's me my fav think is cleaning pussy after u pee

About me, im very enthusiastic about my intrests and often strive to be the best that i can be. I am very open minded and mostly willing to try new things etc.

I am respectfull and honest and have the ability to be able to communicate well and will take on board appraisals and any issue that could occur.

I tend to be very confident and competant and love to be able to guide and teach people about particular subjects.

Im far from shy, and also like people to feel at ease when they are around me, besides the anticipation of what could happen next.

What im after... Im looking for someone who is passionate and has drive to better themselfes. Someone that is willing to push their mental boundaries.

Intrested in;
Rope bondage
Suspension (learning require bunny)
Flogging
Spanking
Anal sex
Facesitting
Deepthroating
Face fuck
Asphyxiation
Electro stimulaton
Biting
Body fetish (breasts)
Bondage
Lingerie ( knee high with suspenders)
Collar
Ejeculating on parts of body
Disipline
Rough sex
Knife play
Power
Teasing

My vanilla life im a cnc service engineer who has a huge intrest in motorcycles.
Message me to find out more, i dont bite... Much

I am looking for a strict but fair, dominant, preferably middle aged or older Mistress who will introduce me to all aspects of slavery. Although i am prepared to obey my mistress, my own fetishes include face sitting and smothering, toilet training, arse licking, spanking, hardsports and watersports.

I fucking love women who can ware silk and satin fucking sexy stuff that!!! If it's you come and tickle my dick ✊? I'll go hard or I'll go slow,I like to control my orgasm most certainly until you go first,oooo lets go!!!

I've contained this desire long enough. Looking for a strong women to break me in.
Needs to be okay with pegging and possibly facesitting maybe foot worship I'm also okay with many other things.

I'm begging.