I'm a dominant man who's fairly good with rope (shibari) and hitty things, Looking for a submissive play partner or more.
Desires and Fantasies
To discover more about my Dominant self and explore a D/s relationship with someone
Look up Birmingham bizarre bazaar. there's plenty of stuff to find be it munches or events. Fetlife might be better though
Fetlife.com is also a good one. Not a dating site but a way to find others who are into the same things or connect with local people who are into kink/bdsm.
Without insulting anyone or insinuating that it's a good idea. Poppers can and have been used to help people relax and take dildos that little bit easier. Lube does help but so does practice and taking things slowly. There's also the consideration that you might not be able to. We all have limits.