Imo. Love lacks a definition mostly because it's something to aspire to in a purely subjective way.
Kinks are e catalist for higher Love.
I don't think Love is sustainable without kinks, but kinks don't need Love to be sustainable.
Kinks are an extremely important part of the self without which Read more… any Love withers. Mainly because Love needs one to know and accept himslef to express love. If that's blocked then shame, regret, and a number of coping mechanisms develop which malforms and errodes the individual to oblivion