I feel the exact same way. Vanilla sex makes me feel bored and unsatisfied. A guy wanting me to guide or take control is like a cold shower. I have no close friends whose minds wouldn't melt at the thoughts of what I want in the bedroom......yet, like you, I do not want to be dominated outside a Read more… sexual nature.
I unfortunately went for guys who were dominant (abusive) outside the bedroom but mediocre in it. Only through the last 10 months have I come about face and said "No! I want a Dom not an ***r or a fake". I want submission to someone who will give me what I need but whom I can trust, be that spanking, biting, rough sex etc.
Finding a real Dom, a good Dom....that's proving very hard with fake profiles etc. I'm new to this scene and have been unable to weed out some. I have relied on help from more experienced and spoken for Doms for their knowledge and guidance.