Is that still a thing? As a Dom, I'd make a rule that any guy caught sending such pics, will have their jewels crammed into a tight leather sack, and padlocked! Oh wait---too many of those guys would actually enjoy that. Never mind...

Amarillo (the closest city) is a dead zone. Every now and then, I catch rumors of some group in Amarillo, only to come-up empty. it's either long-gone, or possibly never existed in the first place.

I have an off-topic question for Mistress Tara. Your profile shows you living in a rural, bible-belt town, just as I do. My question is: How did you uncover the local fetish scene? I have spent years chasing rumors and ghosts, and coming-up empty. Even over in Amarillo, which is just an hour Read more… from here---nothing. I am a transplant from a major urban area. Back there, the local "Scene" was as easy to find as the nearest bus stop. Still, I am reading more than just a casual interest in random folks, here. Subtle, innocuous innuendos are eliciting some rather interesting responses. Yet, there is no organized scene. Or, perhaps, it keeps getting shut-down by the local vice.
Anyway, I would like to thank everyone for being patient with this rather rude interruption. This was the only way to get my question to Mistress Tara, as her DM appears to be blocked. Now, back to our regularly-scheduled program...

I will say that the direction of this site has changed considerably, since I came 3 years ago. Back then, the mood was much lighter, folks expressed themselves more freely, and the theme of "exploration" was more prevalent.
Now, the mood seems more muted, if not darker. This site has become more Read more… of an "Ask Ann Landers" discussion about bad/failed relationships. The deconstructionists seem to rule the convos. Most of the truly experienced kinksters have either left, or simply don't post anymore. I see very little in the way of exploration. I don't know what happened. The energy just seemed to die.

"Cis" tends to sound pejorative. Many folks are offended by that term.

The biggest question is one of trust. Do you trust him well enough to "let go"---put your self totally in his hands? True trust is extremely empowering. Still, this is not something that can happen right away. It takes time to develop this kind of relationship.

Reading these posts, I can't help but consider how fortuitous it is to be older. My heavy involvement in The Scene came in the stone-age, pre-internet era of the1990's. Once a week, I would attend a BSDM event at a local underground nightclub. Though such events usually lasted until 3:00 AM, I Read more… would try to duck-out just after Midnight. I would explain that I needed to be at work in the morning---you know, having to pay those pesky bills.
I was in the electronic repair industry. So, there were never any "morality" conflicts with my job. My coworkers never knew of my "other" life, though a couple may have suspected. Ironically, it was my fellow kinksters that gave me the most flack, for having to leave early, to deal with "work".
Around 1995, the repair shop where I worked, closed its doors, and I was laid-off. After that, I went into business for myself. No more potential conflicts. I could stay up as late as I wanted. Not long after, I was drafted to host a nightclub show. Kink was now paying some of those bills!

Very interesting discussion. I have HFA (High Functioning Autism) and I have discovered some interesting facts about it. The general assumption is that folks with HFA can't read people. It has been said the we can't pick up "non-verbal cues", like facial expressions, voice inflections, body Read more… language, etc...
My experience in the BDSM Scene has taught me that nothing could be farther from the truth. Consider another oft-quoted truism---that those with HFA have a laser-like focus. It is this focus that allows those with HFA to see right through people. The apparent "inability" to read people, comes from seeing multiple conflicting layers at once. This can be very confusing, and may be dismissed as just "noise". Those with HFA often avoid eye-contact, because it can be "information overload". Imagine a person's entire life story being suddenly downloaded into your brain---too quickly to process. That much info, that fast, can actually be ***ful. Ironically, it was the training and discipline of BDSM, that allowed me to process all of this, and have some perspective of the multiple layers that I was seeing.

Honestly, in all my years, I never used a pick-up line. Communication through eye contact and body language seemed more effective and less threatening.
On that note, there is one pick-up line that a lot of guys have joked about using. It is so common, that I am surprised that no one has mentioned Read more… it: "If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"
A bit off-topic: I had a lady friend who once hinted how she would love to see a diamond for her birthday. So, I took her to a ballgame.

There is a lot over overlap in the imagery and symbolism of the Goth and BDSM cultures. That said, the two cultures are quite different. The similarities are purely superficial. In fact, I have encountered a lot of Goth folks, who are actually repulsed by leather and fetish wear. There really Read more… is no correlation.
I recall encountering the same question back in the mid-to-late 80's, with the Heavy-Metal "head bangers". Fetish wear (leather/rubber) was almost a universal dress code for "Metal" concerts. Yet, this had almost nothing to do with true fetish. The dress was meant more as a spit-in-the-face to "The Establishment". "Fetish" makes the "vanilla" world cringe---hence, the appeal of its "shock value". I suspect that a lot of this was inherited from the "Punk" scene, a decade earlier.