Firstly - I’ve been in this life a LONG time, so please, no condescending jerks, dilettantes, or poseurs.
I am a true Switch; Dommed professionally for a time (still take select clients), and I can talk you into a quivering pile of acheing protoplasm if I so desire.
But my real release lies in being able to lose myself in subspace with a proper Dom who is EDUCATED, EXPERIENCED, kind and funny but firm, and knows there is a balance of power to be explored here. With skilled Dom, I can let the little sub in me out. And she needs to get out!
I’m very much into Shibari, and bondage. Whippings only if you actually know what you are doing. Again...experience is a requirement.
Any negotiations will take time and the proper protocol. I am old school. I do not leap into a physical sexual relationship with a Dom. That is not how I was trained. That is not what it is about for me (well, of course it is, but other criteria must be met!) The mind must be engaged first. Sex comes when trust is established.
Obviously, chatting is a must!
Also, I took the *y thing, ha!
Desires and Fantasies**
To get seriously back into Shibari.
Thank you as always, Mickey! Sorry for the late reply - been a bit of a mad week here. I always cherish your comments. 💙
When I came to the realization when I was really young that I was a Switch many years ago, it became pretty clear to me that it was going to be difficult — especially during those times (early 90s) and within my circles — to always do things strictly by the book.
Luckily for me, I had a Dom who Read more… had a good sense of humor and fun, and was willing to think outside the usual parameters and see me for what I was becoming (I was too green to really know for myself). Had I not had his particular influence, I think it would have taken me longer to understand myself. And a a result, I would have turned out to be a different, less empathetic sort of Domme, years later.
I do believe in the value of tradition and protocol, they certainly have their place. But so do the ability to reach beyond and be creative, and expand into new territory. It’s just those abilities that make this journey exciting, and keep it fresh and new after all this time for me!
edit - oh and to answer your question, I’ve only made that mistake with myself, trying to fit myself into a particular mold when I knew I was so much more...
Mickey, thank you — I’m glad the twist was a good one for you 😘.
Wow, I’m very flattered! Thank you, Rich.
Thank you so much, Blueslave! I truly appreciate your commenting.
My own opinion from my personal experience is that yes, my time as a sub has made me a more EMPATHETIC Domme.
I may not be wired like this sub or that sub, but I’m certainly more attuned to certain subtleties, and I’m definitely less arrogant than I might be had I not gone through the Read more… psychological experience of subbing for the time that I did — an issue I run into when I speak with younger Doms who ask for my guidance, and occasionally, my training.
If I dare suggest they try the other side of the slash to gain that much needed empathy, the arrogant response is pretty much predictable. Which I find makes them lacking.
Now, I’m not saying this is the ONLY way, because I understand that the culture evolves and certainly we cannot *** anyone to do it this way if that’s not what they choose to do as a Dominant.
But.
I do really believe it is a sad thing that it’s not really the way anymore. Having a full understanding of both sides of the slash can only make one a better and more understanding, more fully developed practitioner. Having the confidence and strong sense of self to undertake such a thing surely doesn’t diminish one as a Dominant.
In my understanding of the concept.
Thank you, Mickey! I’m glad it’s proving interesting 💜
Thank you so much! 💜
It’s still being written, but you can read it from the beginning (which isn’t posted here) up to where I’ve written thus far here: “Bunny”
Thank you so much! Sorry for the delay — I thought I replied to this! 😘😘😘