From what i understood you actually enjoy inflicting ***. If you are new at this it can be hard to decide where the limit is for you and your partner boath. As long as you keep in mind that you are doing whatever you are doing to get pleasure out of it and not because you must you should be ok. Read more…
For me the rule of the thumb is going as far as you feel comfortable with and stop when you are not enjoying what you are doing. If your partner asks for more that is ok but you don't want to engage in things that don't make you feel good.
I don't say that you should stop on the first guilty tought, on the contrary you should always step a bit out of your comfort zone if it gives pleasure to your partner. This is how you grow and expand your limits. There is always a next session where you can go a bit further.
Don't be affraid or embaresed to tell your partner that you don't feel like going further today but also let them know that you are willing to push the limit a bit more next time if it is pleasurable for her/him.
Also if partner insists make sure to remind them that you are both doing this to enjoy yourselves and I don't think feeling bad afterwards is something you enjoy very much. There will come a point where you will reach your hard limit. Wether it is at mild spanking or at heavy *** or extreme impact play is irelevant but you will feel where it is once you reach it. There are so many aspects of BDSM and so many enjoyable things you can do why *** something one of you doesn't feel good about.
If you reach your limit and partner still wants more suggest a different type of play like bondage, breath play, wax or even tickling that you can combine with *** infliction and might just do the trick for both of you.
I could go on but I already wrote quite a text and think you got my point. To sum it up you both want to feel great and satisfied aftet the session and should cross a bit into the awkward but don't drift to bad.