Dominant male in love with submissive women.
Dom male. Very open to chatting, making friends, or even hashing out some deep dark nasty fantasies. Only into women sexually but I embrace all kinds otherwise.
I'm also a geek with a need for humor. It certainly doesn't keep me from being serious, but I consider the ability to laugh at ourselves an indication of wisdom; the ability to find humor in our world is a sign of intelligence. The same way primitive humans probably saw a well muscled body covered in the of their enemies while maintaining a well wiped ass as a promise of survival potential, humor means you just might survive me long enough for both of us to have a little fun.
Hot peppers? I love spice. In my food, in my jokes and in my women, even in the gleam in my eye. The funny thing is that many woman who feel they are bland are often the spiciest. It's not about your performance to me as much as it is about your strength of character. If you are your own person then I'll probably enjoy spending time with you in whatever capacity.
Role play? Hell yeah! The ability to try out different experiences without having to own every aspect of them borders on magical.
Experimenting? Sign me up, then tell me what we're doing. However, I'm a cautious risk taker. I'll minimize the chance of actually or breakage and then jump in head first and try way too many of those things that I don't think will work out only because I know what I don't know. Half the things that touch me in my happy place today I only learned about recently so... there's only one way to find out what other fucked up things do it for me. And I could use a hand.
bdsmtest.org test results
100% Sadist
93% Rigger
92% Degrader
87% Voyeur
86% Dominant
76% Experimentalist
71% Daddy/Mommy
70% Exhibitionist
62% Master/Mistress
60% Ageplayer
53% Non-monogamist
49% Owner
43% Vanilla
42% Primal (Hunter)
40% Brat tamer
0% Switch100% Sadist
93% Rigger
92% Degrader
87% Voyeur
86% Dominant
76% Experimentalist
71% Daddy/Mommy
70% Exhibitionist
62% Master/Mistress
60% Ageplayer
53% Non-monogamist
49% Owner
43% Vanilla
42% Primal (Hunter)
40% Brat tamer
0% Switch
Desires and Fantasies
Though it's probably a turn off for most, rough play/sex (spankings, slapping, domination, etc.) makes me very affectionate and passionate afterwords. If there is such a thing as a tender sadist, or a sensual dominant then I might be that. ..maybe. I have been known to leave marks.
Like some, I had been feeling bad about my interests most of my life. A a woman in , or looking down, tied up or otherwise turns me on. Then I realized what turns me on is not those things but rather when those things turn her on. [gasm!]
I've long believed that one of the aspects of humanity that makes humans so interesting (and annoying) is that seemingly contrasting and mutually exclusive things can be true at the same time. So yes I want to dominate a woman, but only if she is strong enough to be worth dominating. Yes I enjoy her submission, but without her engagement and partnership in the things we do both in and out of that space, I cannot be engaged. Yes, I'd love to have primal sex with a woman who is bound and gagged, but if she can't hold a conversation, share things with me I've never thought of, or if she cannot bear to hear me ramble about my thoughts on humanity, physics, the future of space travel, the mongol empire, biomedical technology, psychology, etc. then she goes from being a toy (me: gets excited about playing and exploring the possibilities) to just being a toy (me: kicks over dull lifeless wooden block and sighs forlornly).
Limits: (without question), urine (I'm pretty damn sure), underage (anything at all), and posting or recording video of me. Other than that? TBD
Shoot me a msg and I'll give you a hand.
Anyone can do physical bondage. Hell you could design a robot to do it. It takes something special, and arguably deeper, to exercise mental bondage.
I am absolutely drawn in deeper every time a woman follows my orders. Even to just see her waiting for me to tell her what I want next is a moment to Read more… savor. I get hard just thinking about it.
Give me more.
No matter who or what we are we all need a little care. However, as a dom I think it is safe to safe that most of us don't need to be taken care of, the only thing we might benefit from is the support of our subs. It could be something as simple as feedback, downtime, or bask in the aftermath of Read more… your experience.
To put it simply to a sub reading this I would say: just be there for us and we'll let you know what we need.
An unused safe word collecting dust somewhere.
BDSM Contracts seem like a wonderful thing to have if you are about to embark on a one-off. For the sake of brevity it makes sense to lay out everything concisely so all expectations are effectively shared and clear.
Beyond that I feel like most relationships will not only develop organically but Read more… will also need the freedom/leeway to evolve and for its members grow and change over time.
As the OP suggested, each relationship is unique, and I know at least enough to see the truth of this.
This answer definitely does it for me.
These posts reminded me of something else that helps with bouncing back. Despite so much evidence to the contrary (read: humans are assholes), it is in our natures to be caregivers and to support others. Each in our own particular way (or idiom for Monty Python fans).
So turning your mind and Read more… energies to taking care of someone else, either someone in a similar situation or even just caring for family members or a pet is an amazingly powerful *** for healing, growth, and moving on.
Right when we feel compelled to withdraw and wallow in our collapsing worlds, finding someone else in need ***s us to live outside of that in a manner that is meaningful and lasting and more than simply a distraction.
It feels like a reject of who/what you are but in truth it is probably only a rejection of their belief that you could be what they wanted you to be. In other words, they are rejecting you because you're not someone else. Hence the argument made above that they are basically doing you a favor and Read more… saving you from disaster ahead.
Sometimes I might want her to know that she is beautiful to me and that I want to drink her in. If I punish her for wearing a bra on a certain no-bra day I will let her know that asked for it because she is beautiful.
There is also something special and intimate about looking inter her eyes and Read more… watching the *** as I twist her nipple.
Honestly, sometimes I just want to watch her squirm and try to look away.
It helps to keep the emotions in their place. To try to remind yourself that you are not your emotions and the world is not what it seems. Not to fight what you feel but to accept it and try to let it wash over you. To feel like you are drowning but to relax anyway knowing you will be ok.
When we Read more… have a bad day it seems like the world is a terrible place. Everyone does just the right thing to annoy you most and they seem to do it on purpose. It's because emotions affect how we view the world, they change the appearance of reality. But when you are in a good mood the very same things don't affect you and annoying people go unnoticed or you laugh them off and feel bad for them in their miserable worlds.
Just keep reminding yourself of what you were before this and who you still are. You are not your emotions.
There is nothing wrong with what you feel and you shouldn't be able to just walk it off. It's ok to feel bad, for however long you do. The end of a relationship is, in the emotional realm, a death of that person in your life. Just remember who you are and don't let what you feel make you forget and you will get there.