Naturally dominant woman versus newly dominant

[Mz****]

Now, am not shaming newly dominant, desire, to satisfy their male partner. However, I do see a difference in those who are naturally dominant versus newly dominant. As a naturally dominant woman, it seems to me that we have a pretty good idea of what we want our Dynamic to look like. And besides the obvious that we tend to be aware of community and what we want from a male submissive. There’s no topping from the bottom bottom for most naturally dominant women.
Newly dominant women are very unsure of themselves, which is understandable. They tend to be somewhat submissive naturally. The male subs that try to convert a submissive woman to dominant woman seem to be more of the topping from the bottom type of dude. Cause this is my view what is your take on naturally dominant woman and newly dominant woman

[Lukas-2003]

Counter Point: There is no natural dominance in humans. It’s a result of our surroundings and upbringing, which is heavily influenced by the culture we live in.
So if someone builds up a dominant character over time he, she or they are not less dominant than your so called „naturals“.

[OralSlut]

I have known several naturally dominant women in my life, my mom and my cousin Nancy were the 1st two that I met in life, but there were many to study and learn from.

There are definitely certain personality traits common among them; they are emotionally and psychologically strong, confident, assertive. They know what they want and what they don't. You know them when you see them: they will be the ones telling not asking people what they want and what to do.

They might be "sassy" in a way that turns me on - like Jackie Gleason's wife on "the honey mooners", she was feisty, sassy, and so damn sexy. I loved her. Jackie Gleason was a strong character and it took a strong woman to back him up, to support him, but also keep him in his lane.

I passionately love naturally dominant women and I automatically will do anything in my power to please them. When I was little my mom told me that I would need (the way she put it for a child was:) a woman to be in charge. She was right; without one my life has sucked miserably.

"Newly dominant women" are Artificially dominant women. They are just regular women acting dominant, not to please anyone but take advantage of some poor lonely bastard like me to get ***. Case in point- all these "FinDoms" who flat out tell you to give them ***. That's scam, bullying, extortion. All this give me stuff, grovel on the floor kiss my shoes, that's all fake bull shit for entertainment, Like porn. A real dominant woman aint gonna go soft because you haven't paid her to be hard. Real Dominant women are dominant whether you give them "tribute" or not. She's not on it for the *** or tribute, she's naturally dominant because she is.

I passionately love naturally dominant women and need to belong to one and will do anything to please them. Unfortunately most of them end up as the male 1/2 of a lesbian couple before I meet them. 🙁

I see Artificially dominant women as prostitutes trying to get *** from weak men. Most of them are actually in relationships with dominant men, so if you pay attention you know you're being played.

"Naturally dominant" is a basic, foundational personality trait that you either are born with or develop during infancy and toddlerhood. You don't live 20 years and then decided to change your basic foundational personality that defines who you are. It doesn't work that way. There's a reason the bible says teach a child when he's young and that's the way he'll go.

Now for the very few "newly dominant" women who truly want to be dominant to make their man happy with no ill-intentions? That's great, more power to you, but if you're doing anything, to make any other person happy, then it's still an act of submission.

No matter how you dress them up, you can't make a cat into a dog. Their born that way.

[Th****]

There is no such thing as "naturally" dominant or submissive, dominant and submissive are made up terms that don't really mean anything outside of D/s. Within D/s they're chosen roles and simply mean the person with power and control and the person giving up power and control.

People can have various personality traits and life experiences that make them good leaders but being a confident leader, with a strong personality, knowing what you want in life and going after it is neither dominant or submissive. The characteristics mentioned as "naturally dominant" in the discussion so far can be found in both Dominants and submissives. 

 

[CopperKnob]

4 hours ago, Lukas-2003 said:

Counter Point: There is no natural dominance in humans. It’s a result of our surroundings and upbringing, which is heavily influenced by the culture we live in.
So if someone builds up a dominant character over time he, she or they are not less dominant than your so called „naturals“.

This. We're all simply products of our environment/s.
.
But also, where to start with this...
.
First would be to question why this post is gendered. My assumption is that there's an element of social/gender norms at play. But why are we focusing on women only having a desire to be dominant in order to satisfy a male partner? Why aren't we suggesting that a woman is considering taking the D role as a means of satisfying her own desires?
.
Second. Someone could be "naturally" dominant (if that's your premise) in their life outside of a relationship and have a desire to take on the submissive role within one.
.
Third. It should be no surprise that those who've been around the D/s scene for a while would have more awareness of the "community" than someone is new. Likewise, for what each wants from a relationship/dynamic.
.
Fourth. Topping from the bottom may not be for you. For some, it is. Why are we judging?
.
Fifth. Stats/source? I'm unsure that we could label new Dommes as submissives. Maybe they're simply naive and learning their dis/likes, wants, and needs whilst also trying to navigate posts such as this.
.
And lastly, let people be. There's no such thing as natural/unnatural Dom/mes. What there are are people who are confident and comfortable in their identity and those that aren't quite there yet.

[mi****]

1 hour ago, OralSlut said:

I have known several naturally dominant women in my life, my mom and my cousin Nancy were the 1st two that I met in life, but there were many to study and learn from.

There are definitely certain personality traits common among them; they are emotionally and psychologically strong, confident, assertive. They know what they want and what they don't. You know them when you see them: they will be the ones telling not asking people what they want and what to do.

They might be "sassy" in a way that turns me on - like Jackie Gleason's wife on "the honey mooners", she was feisty, sassy, and so damn sexy. I loved her. Jackie Gleason was a strong character and it took a strong woman to back him up, to support him, but also keep him in his lane.

I passionately love naturally dominant women and I automatically will do anything in my power to please them. When I was little my mom told me that I would need (the way she put it for a child was:) a woman to be in charge. She was right; without one my life has sucked miserably.

"Newly dominant women" are Artificially dominant women. They are just regular women acting dominant, not to please anyone but take advantage of some poor lonely bastard like me to get ***. Case in point- all these "FinDoms" who flat out tell you to give them ***. That's scam, bullying, extortion. All this give me stuff, grovel on the floor kiss my shoes, that's all fake bull shit for entertainment, Like porn. A real dominant woman aint gonna go soft because you haven't paid her to be hard. Real Dominant women are dominant whether you give them "tribute" or not. She's not on it for the *** or tribute, she's naturally dominant because she is.

I passionately love naturally dominant women and need to belong to one and will do anything to please them. Unfortunately most of them end up as the male 1/2 of a lesbian couple before I meet them. 🙁

I see Artificially dominant women as prostitutes trying to get *** from weak men. Most of them are actually in relationships with dominant men, so if you pay attention you know you're being played.

"Naturally dominant" is a basic, foundational personality trait that you either are born with or develop during infancy and toddlerhood. You don't live 20 years and then decided to change your basic foundational personality that defines who you are. It doesn't work that way. There's a reason the bible says teach a child when he's young and that's the way he'll go.

Now for the very few "newly dominant" women who truly want to be dominant to make their man happy with no ill-intentions? That's great, more power to you, but if you're doing anything, to make any other person happy, then it's still an act of submission.

No matter how you dress them up, you can't make a cat into a dog. Their born that way.

All of this. -We can thank the world we live in today.

I was having a similar conversation with someone earlier today. Only advice I could offer them was not to give up on something that makes them happy over a bad experience from someone that had no business being in the dynamic in the first place. Also added to be cautious about people that seem to be all about the quick hookup… because that person isn’t wanting to fulfill anything but a selfish need for only about them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[OralSlut]

23 minutes ago, midwestchick said:

All of this. -We can thank the world we live in today.

I was having a similar conversation with someone earlier today. Only advice I could offer them was not to give up on something that makes them happy over a bad experience from someone that had no business being in the dynamic in the first place. Also added to be cautious about people that seem to be all about the quick hookup… because that person isn’t wanting to fulfill anything but a selfish need for only about them. 🤷🏼‍♀️

What does anything you said have to do with me? My mom? Or my cousin Nancy?
I was raised by a dominant woman, grew up with a dominant cousin who was my best friend and I loved her dearl

[OralSlut]

What does anything you said have to do with me? My mom? Or my cousin Nancy?
I was raised by a dominant woman, grew up with a dominant cousin who was my best friend and I loved her dearly, and I love dominant women. Don't try to go all Froyd on us here.

[ey****]

There's no such thing as natural/true/real Dominant etc.

there are environmental elements which may shape people but even then there are folk who have been in Dominant situations in life who find/feel it leads them to be a good Dominant in kink - and those who've been in Dominant situations in life who, from a kink perspective - are submissive.

I mean, of course, people who are new to kink or new to ideas may be finding time to work out how this shapes them and what works for them.   But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

There are ladies I've known for years who, right know no what they want, know what they expect from subs and what they can offer and so on so forth - who maybe a few years ago did not.

I've never seen a lady who has come into kink new and pretending to be 'natural' that's ended up anywhere other than rings ran around her, or her end up engaging in dangerous play because folk don't magically know everything 

[mi****]

12 hours ago, OralSlut said:

What does anything you said have to do with me? My mom? Or my cousin Nancy?
I was raised by a dominant woman, grew up with a dominant cousin who was my best friend and I loved her dearl

I wasn’t saying anything about them. I was agreeing with everything that you said and added something relatable to the subject.

[Ar****]

tbh i wasn’t able to understand much of what you said or were trying to say…😅(e.g. like “topping from the bottom type of dude” what is that supposed to even mean??🤯

[ey****]

12 hours ago, ArmenianVagitarian said:

“topping from the bottom type of dude” what is that supposed to even mean??

Topping from the bottom is often frowned upon in kink

it's usually where the sub/bottom/etc is usually directing, often micromanaging, how they are Dominanted.

There is the issue that some people try to brush off legitimate communication as 'topping from the bottom' -- male subs are often really guilty of it.