Sexy Experts

[Kriss123]

With all you sexy experts  writing on the forum all the time  it can  be difficult to get my point of view  in sometimes ..I am still searching  for a dominant goddess/mistress and  i read  somewhere that a mistress was complaining about subs not really having a true understanding of a D/S relationship and probably just watched a session on pornhub ..

Well I'm tired of pretending that I m not that shallow because I am ..As soon as a Dominant Mistress appears with stockings and heels my cock is rock hard.

i don't know if that's considered acceptable in a D/S relationship ..

[ey****]

I can appreciate it can be a bit daunting - but - seriously, your view is valid, although, of course - some things will be disagreed with

So - if you're interest here is about the stockings and heels (most certainly, a good look) then it might well be you're more about the fetish than the submission.  MAY.  

But, you know what.  That's also OK.

I think though through as you kinda learn and what you like and don't like it may be come easier to present yourself as a fetishist than submissive

But, on the other hand - there are plenty of Dominants who embrace and rock that look you talk about - so this would become something desirable to you.  Something that you get out of a relationship is a Dominant whose style sexually arouses you.  

Within that - it's still worth the understanding of submission.   That, while you appreciate her style, it's for her pleasure not yours so to speak.

[cautiousswitch]

They do not understand that getting an erection is something that you cannot control, and whether or not you get to use the erection is something that they control.

[Ky****]

45 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

They do not understand that getting an erection is something that you cannot control, and whether or not you get to use the erection is something that they control.

as is the infliction of amusing ways to train you to control that erection

[Ky****]

@Brittone2 depends on the dynamic you have with whoever you find, if she goes for it that's fine

[ey****]

1 hour ago, cautiousswitch said:

They do not understand that getting an erection is something that you cannot control, and whether or not you get to use the erection is something that they control.

generally speaking, they do.

But, it's a different kettle when the subs interest as their own erection ahead of the person they claim to be submitting to.

[Ky****]

29 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

generally speaking, they do.

But, it's a different kettle when the subs interest as their own erection ahead of the person they claim to be submitting to.

hence my comment, 'musing ways to train you', of course that is if it is involuntary, if the D decides its not then they are well within their rights to bin the 'sub' who isn't

[cautiousswitch]

35 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

generally speaking, they do.

But, it's a different kettle when the subs interest as their own erection ahead of the person they claim to be submitting to.

My poorly made point was that just because a man gets hard doesn't mean the domme should assume he expects sex.  Many submissives are aware that it's not going to happen unless their domme wants it to.

[TemptressM]

As a Dominant I can say that of course I know that a sub will get sexually arroused and that is fine there  is no problem with that.  What is the problem is that instead of getting messages to find out what kind of Dominant you are or even what type of person you are,  they automatically want you to Dominate them without knowing anything about them.  That takes time as there has to be a level of trust in the first place before any consideration on whether you will take them on a sub or not. 

I get that it can be frustrating but even in a vanilla relationship isnt it all about getting to know the person first? 

 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, cautiousswitch said:

My poorly made point was that just because a man gets hard doesn't mean the domme should assume he expects sex.  Many submissives are aware that it's not going to happen unless their domme wants it to.

I think there's more about the erection than sex.  There's a lot of stories I've seen or know - be it the sub who could never get hard suddenly become erect when doing a coerced bi scene (although his Mistress playfully taunted him for that, the suspicion was it was perhaps in the deep act of the submission to his Mistress, rather than the cock in his mouth) or the occupational hazard of an erection during mixed wrestling (which can sometimes be really embarrassing for the guy) 

I think the question within it - what is more important to the guy.  Doing something (or seeing something) he knows will give him an erection, or spending time with a Domme with or without an erection?

Neither are wrong answers.

I mean, myself.  Unless an erection is required as part of the scene, I'm meh as of whether I get one.  I do often like to end play/the day/etc with an orgasm - but this doesn't make a day good or bad if I do/don't have one. 

So, if you approach a Domme with ideas, suggestions, requests that is all about your erection, rather than spending time with her, you can see why some might be offput 

[TemptressM]

7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

So, if you approach a Domme with ideas, suggestions, requests that is all about your erection, rather than spending time with her, you can see why some might be offput 

exactly 

[Deleted Member]

Perhaps you've worked out what you are, then, @Brittone2? Not so much a submissive as a fetishist? Maybe you're just feeling a bit frustrated? 

If you are looking for a fetish session with a Domme/Mistress, there are ladies who will deliver that for you. It's good to be really clear about what you want. 

[Kriss123]

Thanks for your feedback.Appreciate it..xx

[Kriss123]

That's why I titled this Sexy Experts because I know you could have tore me and my post to shreds but you didn't ..Thankyou ❤️

[Ky****]

5 hours ago, Brittone2 said:

That's why I titled this Sexy Experts because I know you could have tore me and my post to shreds but you didn't ..Thankyou ❤️

we're probably waiting until lockdown is over for that and we can use a whip to tear you to pieces properly lol, especially one of those ones you use on unruly erections to control them

[Kriss123]

12 minutes ago, Kymi said:we're probably waiting until lockdown is over for that and we can use a whip to tear you to pieces properly lol, especially one of those ones you use on unruly erections to control them

Lol Thankyou Kymi I think you're are a beautiful person..

Super funny with a give and take humour..xx

 

 

[Ky****]

1 minute ago, Brittone2 said:

Lol Thankyou Kymi I think you're are a beautiful person..

Super funny with a give and take humour..xx

 

 

my humour has to be because in the bedroom I'm only a taker lol

[ey****]

5 hours ago, Brittone2 said:

That's why I titled this Sexy Experts because I know you could have tore me and my post to shreds but you didn't ..Thankyou ❤️

I think there's a lot of good people on this site who are generally positive.

You know. I did a radio interview on Monday (you can still access it - search 'Rose Talks Sex') about kink and one of the things I was saying about how people see things and think things have to be one thing or another - but it's ultimately down to what you want and like and being honest about that. 

[Kriss123]

2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think there's a lot of good people on this site who are generally positive.

You know. I did a radio interview on Monday (you can still access it - search 'Rose Talks Sex') about kink and one of the things I was saying about how people see things and think things have to be one thing or another - but it's ultimately down to what you want and like and being honest about that. 

Since I've joined this app/site I've lost count of how many posts/ comments have not 

been deemed acceptable for one reason or another ..Twice I caused  massive upset in the chat room to the point I won't go in there again..Too be honest I'm fed up of using medical reasons as an excuse for my behaviour ..I'm only going to say this once...

I'm sorry...

 

[Ky****]

@Brittone2 u may have triggered an important idea here looking at @eyemblacksheep & @MsWhiteRose s replies.  How many think they are subs when its really a different fetish?  nothing wrong with that but its something we need to be clear on.  Just because our fetishes plce us in submissive positions we may not be subs

[ey****]

2 minutes ago, Kymi said:

@Brittone2 u may have triggered an important idea here looking at @eyemblacksheep & @MsWhiteRose s replies.  How many think they are subs when its really a different fetish?  nothing wrong with that but its something we need to be clear on.  Just because our fetishes plce us in submissive positions we may not be subs

See, I also technically question whether I'm a sub, I certainly float about a little bit.   But, I think a lot of guys who present as sub actually aren't and it's something that always sets off on the wrong foot.

"I want you to do these things to me..." is both rude and not submissive at all  

[Ky****]

4 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

See, I also technically question whether I'm a sub, I certainly float about a little bit.   But, I think a lot of guys who present as sub actually aren't and it's something that always sets off on the wrong foot.

"I want you to do these things to me..." is both rude and not submissive at all  

probably because guys are not clear as to what it means, as you present it this does sound like a shopping list doesn't it-its always difficult to know the difference between setting limits, looking for compatible people and one off fun-paid for or not, same as all relationships probably

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

probably because guys are not clear as to what it means, as you present it this does sound like a shopping list doesn't it-its always difficult to know the difference between setting limits, looking for compatible people and one off fun-paid for or not, same as all relationships probably

I agree

even with a level head it's easy to get muddled.  But, sometimes I think there's a lot of times when, particularly guys, don't try to learn.

 

[Ky****]

30 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I agree

even with a level head it's easy to get muddled.  But, sometimes I think there's a lot of times when, particularly guys, don't try to learn.

 

its probably a guy thing, maybe a hangover from the 'too cool for school' syndrome as ***

[ey****]

23 minutes ago, Kymi said:

its probably a guy thing, maybe a hangover from the 'too cool for school' syndrome as ***

I think there's somewhere between an arrogance of feeling they already know it - and the not wanting to show "weakness" by admitting they don't.

It's a terrible but true stereotype that men tend not to read instructions.  

Also add in there's many other aspects in life where men often, or are taught to, "blag it" - take applying for a job, on average a man will apply for a job they meet 60% of the criteria of whereas women is closer to 100% (I don't have data for other genders/situations) 

-

Like. I don't know it all. Not nearly. But, my ability and willingness to learn is a strength, not a weakness.