cautiousswitch Posted May 6, 2020 Posted May 6, 2020 That was the title line for an advert from a magic shop I once bought from. As someone with an interest in chastity my mind went somewhere else with that question. Now I'm thinking it needs to be a movie - The Mystery of the Mystery Keyholder! Sort of a Dude, Where's my Car? only instead of losing his car the main character can't remember who he gave the key to his chastity belt to, but doesn't want any of the potential keyholders to know about the other potential keyholders. Sounds like a nice lighthearted discussion that new people can join in on as well as old. Who would you cast for such a film? Any plot twists? Steve Martin could do some great facial expressions for it, but may be a bit older than most audiences would expect of the lead. Potential keyholders would depend largely on the lead character.
Vandalslut Posted May 6, 2020 Posted May 6, 2020 OK, this sounds like a lot of fun and a great brain exercise! Steve Martin can do great comic expressions but he is a bit along for it. The first person I thought for the main character was Jesse Eisenberg. The image of the anally retentive nerd trundling his suitcase-on-wheels through the devastation of American Zombieland just cracks me up as a modern iconic. A character who deals in every precaution, only believes in what he can see, enormously logical, knows where everything is - except, of course...then write in some iconic magical/far-out characters who give him clues to make a juxtaposition to the non-fanciful, disbelieving, unimaginative character. Hugo Weaving as a disguised Elven Lord running a newspaper stand, Guy Pearce as a steampunk-esque time traveller working as a train guard. James and Oliver Phelps (Fred and George Weasley 'Harry Potter') as the owners of a magic shop, etc.
Th**** Posted May 7, 2020 Posted May 7, 2020 Ricky Gervais has to get a look in there as well, quite possibly as someone who has been asked to hold on to the key but really does not understand the reasons why totally. Hence as his cameo is about done and he is almost caught up with I can see him having the keys significance explained to him in greater and greater detail. As by this point the morbid fascination has temporally overcome and his ability to not ask for too much information. Eventually as he holds the key in his hand he hears just which area of the anatomy the key has spent a lot of time in great proximity to. He suddenly catches himself being far too interested in this subject and "reacting" to it far too positively and tries to act repulsed to save face while blushing scarlet. In doing so he throws the key across the bar. Camera zooms out from the key slowly sinking down into s pint of beer and pulls back as the glass is lifted, continuing to zoom out: Holding the Glass is Charles (Benedict Cumberbatch just finishing his pint with friends before rushing back to whatever) taking a sip he lowers the glass and extracts the key , the group are conversing about it along the lines of. "How the hell did that get in there ", "Was that you Terry." Christ no, why would I go dropping a key in your pint Seb, it is not exactly refined humour." One of the girls leads across muttering "Look if you are just going to argue about it, just solve it." and removes the key dropping it in one of the empty glasses. After more Cumberbatchian banter and general squabbling this group moves off to go catch there flight as the waitress approaches to clear the table. as she loads her tray to carry the glasses out to the back to wash she sees the key, and by chance recognises this style of design and slips it into her pocket then finishes loading. Carrying the trays out to the kitchen... Over to some one else.. Thebian xx
Vandalslut Posted May 7, 2020 Posted May 7, 2020 5 hours ago, Thebian said: Ricky Gervais has to get a look in there as well, For sure!
cautiousswitch Posted May 7, 2020 Author Posted May 7, 2020 It would really depend on the brand of comedy the script called for. The general concept sounds like a farce which would call for your Will Farrell or Jack Black type. On the other hand pick your heartthrob actor to run in this and it takes on a completely different comedic aspect; it would rely more on clever, possibly sophisticated, word play. While it wouldn't be a farce there would still be that element of how did this guy even get into this situation? which is slightly surreal.
Vandalslut Posted May 7, 2020 Posted May 7, 2020 So many options....this idea reminded me of the 'Detachable Penis' song.
cautiousswitch Posted May 7, 2020 Author Posted May 7, 2020 2 minutes ago, Vandalslut said: So many options....this idea reminded me of the 'Detachable Penis' song. That's not the one they wrote after the Lorena Bobbit incident is it?
Vandalslut Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 26 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said: That's not the one they wrote after the Lorena Bobbit incident is it? No, a different one that was very popular around the 90s. Have just sent you the lyrics in a PM. It's hilarious.
Recommended Posts