Do I fit in here?

[Deleted Member]

Hello everyone!

I am a mid-20s male, and fairly 'light' BDSM activities have long been part of my sex life - choking, slapping, spanking and watersports (generally giving). I enjoy these greatly and generally take the dominant role (I.e..I am the one doing the spanking etc).

I would probably consider myself straight, although I have had experiences with men in the past and enjoyed these. I have always been petite, pretty and not particularly masculine, despite the role I have tended to play in my sex life.

I have a long running fantasy in which I join an older and more experienced M/F couple and play with them. In this scenario I am dressed up in erotic female clothing and am an object of desire to both partners - learning how the dom treats the sub and vice versa, and taking on both roles at different times, whilst essentially being in submission to the desires of the couple as a whole. Something about being taught how to please a man by his woman just feels so kinky!

Is this a recognised role in your community and do people often change from wanting to be a dom to a sub depending on the situation?

Obviously I would love to hear from anyone with similar interests - especially couples who share my fantasy!

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Hi, I once struggled to work out whether I belonged within this community, for different reasons to yours but still unsure. A wiser man than i said "If you don't fit in vanilla then you fit here." That made perfect sense.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, JustinJoy said:

do people often change from wanting to be a dom to a sub depending on the situation?

some people. yes.

So some are purely/mostly Dominant and some purely/mostly submissive - but then there's some who switch - and folk who switch can vary wildly.

So, I switch - in my case most people I am either Dominant towards or submissive towards.  There are, I think, two people who I've done any form of 'both sides' with and one of those is my wife.   (Although there is a lady I know switches who I've subbed to and really really want to spank her arse one day - and one day it might happen) 

[Koby]

Do I fit in here? I think you need to find the answer introspectively than externally.

within BDSM, where do I fit in? Do I just want to explore kinks and fetishes? Do I see a particular role for me? What does that role look like?

Perhaps you can answer some of these questions now, others might need time. You might consider consulting and reflecting with others.

In terms of your fantasy, you might find a general role or two that closely align with what your seeking. Does it have to match neatly,?Does the role actually matter? Can you still explore this fantasy without a role?

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

This is a good response - I think my fantasy and past experiences are opening up a whole new world that I hadn't allowed myself to see before

[Deleted Member]

You fit here! Be open to it all and you will have an amazing journey 😁