So you want to be a Dominant do you?

[Deleted Member]

I'm not, I suppose you could say I'm a trainee. What I am is a Primal kinkster, with Dominant and sexually sadistic tendencies. So I don't lay claim to that title, or box, and believe only a partner can really speak as to the truth of whether or not you actually are.

 

So you're young, full of spunk and vinegar, maybe new, who knows. Maybe older as I am and with a few years behind you. Fancy yourself as a Dom, it's something to maybe brag about to your mates, maybe something you're taking real serious. It could even be a route to easy women and easy sex, or maybe not. Maybe you are Dominant and will fit right in. I don't know and I don't judge, to a point.

 

It's really quite easy to build connections, but first you have to be one thing, a man. It seems that those base qualities of protection, respect, manners and kindness that actually define what a man should be first and always, can sometimes desert the most rational of minds in their haste to "get some." 

 

That "Dom" you say you are, or the one you may aspire to be must be many things. To be that, first you must scrutinise your credentials as a man. Do you protect, respect? Show kindness and empathy? Know how to approach others in the correct manner? Yes there are those that like the steamroller approach, but they are rare, and for every one you may find there are 50 more, who may be a little upset at the steamroller approach, maybe even crying, who knows. 

 

It's easy to fire off a message, sometimes a little blase about it all, to forget that the person who receives that message, like you, is a real person, with feelings and emotions. Some may think as they are "Dom" surely this is a right. Errr nope, not without consent it's not, and to be fair many other things. If that's what you think then you are on the wrong track and if you're not sure create a thread. Ask for advice, you will get it, and then you can really start your journey to claim the title you seek. It's not unmanly to look to others for help, I've done it many times and will continue to do so. What is unmanly is to forget those most basic of duties, protection, respect, manners and kindness. You want to be a good Dominant? Work on being a good man first, if you are truly a Dominant, that will shine through as you walk your path.

[Deleted Member]

This is the most difficult thing about being a single woman out there. To find a MAN, someone that treats a woman like a human being first. Then to be submissive/masochist....to be able to find someone who treats the insides before treating the outside...looking for a needle in a haystack. But I continue to have hope. I hope men like you continue to share the wisdom and even if it reaches one guy and changes their ways...it would be 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[Fireball7495]

Good writing!

 

[GoodGirl1127, I understand your frustration. As a Dom in the Phoenix area, I have had difficulty finding a submissive who understands that it's not the same role as a Dom.  For that matter, I'm also finding too many narcissists.]

 

Everything in the OP is just common sense, How to Deal with Others 101.  I really don't know why so many people make it into rocket science.  

 

It's not.  BDSM adds to an established relationship, rather than replaces it.  Also, relationships always work best as friends first.

 

Once again... NOT rocket science.

[Deleted Member]

55 minutes ago, GoodGirl1127 said:

This is the most difficult thing about being a single woman out there. To find a MAN, someone that treats a woman like a human being first. Then to be submissive/masochist....to be able to find someone who treats the insides before treating the outside...looking for a needle in a haystack. But I continue to have hope. I hope men like you continue to share the wisdom and even if it reaches one guy and changes their ways...it would be 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Your words along with mine I think pretty much cover the whole issue. Whether those who read understand or even care however is the problem that this community faces. Some just don't care and feel a right to behave how they wish, with no thought for the implications of their actions. Be patient and wise, eventually with those you may find a "Good un" 😊

[UK****]

4 hours ago, Fireball7495 said:

Everything in the OP is just common sense, How to Deal with Others 101.  I really don't know why so many people make it into rocket science.  

Somewhere, they got the impression that being a Dom means they should  only care about what they want and they need to express it in graphic terms or they won't be respected.

I really despair for them and I only wish I could find out where this started and get the record set straight.

What's worse, the people who really need to read this are likely to be the last people to do so.  They don't think they need to learn anything.  I've been doing this for over 30 years and I'm still learning and don't see a time when that will stop.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, UK_Knight said:

Somewhere, they got the impression that being a Dom means they should  only care about what they want and they need to express it in graphic terms or they won't be respected.

I really despair for them and I only wish I could find out where this started and get the record set straight.

What's worse, the people who really need to read this are likely to be the last people to do so.  They don't think they need to learn anything.  I've been doing this for over 30 years and I'm still learning and don't see a time when that will stop.

 

 

Since I arrived a couple of years ago this is the one thing that has left me dissapointed, the entitlment that some feel is a right from proclaiming themselves "Dom." Yet as I said, for me yeah ok you can say you are but the proof of that only comes from how you conduct yourself, in public and private.

[Deleted Member]

I hope other male wannabe Doms read this. And I hope they see a submissive like me (and others) writing too - to say this is what we want please. Treat us like the people we are before we’re sub. Be the man you should be before you’re Dom. As Primal is. 🤗

[x-****]

That is what I would call a gentleman, Primal.

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, blondieblue said:

That is what I would call a gentleman, Primal.

Thank you 😊. That's very kind.

 

This though is what I think so many fail to see. You can be a decent gent, AND when the time is right, a complete beast. Maybe some just try too hard, to be extra Domly with a side order of Dom. But if you're forcing it, trying to hard then are you even what you claim to be? 😊

[sissyslutclaudia]

No , I am a submissive sissyslut

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, sissyslutclaudia said:

No , I am a submissive sissyslut

Good to hear, hope all is going well 😊

[sissyslutclaudia]

Maybe I should have said I am transvestite male sissyslut

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, sissyslutclaudia said:

Maybe I should have said I am transvestite male sissyslut

Even better and i wish you well my friend. What or who you are is of bo consequence, how you treat others is. I think that was what I was getting at 😊

[sissyslutclaudia]

I see your point and agree. What are you looking for on fetish.com?

 

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, sissyslutclaudia said:

I see your point and agree. What are you looking for on fetish.com?

 

A connection, friendship, laughs and giggles, and let's not forget hard, raw play😊. Hetrosexual though i must i think add, but yeah the connection is everything. With that comes trust, and with that the type of play I seek.

[sissyslutclaudia]

Trust is key. I recently discovered my bi sexuality. My Mistress togehter with  another Mistress ***d us 2 slaves to do a 69 for them, of course with condoms on. It was rather exciting

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, sissyslutclaudia said:

Trust is key. I recently discovered my bi sexuality. My Mistress togehter with  another Mistress ***d us 2 slaves to do a 69 for them, of course with condoms on. It was rather exciting

Well, you are in the right place to explore and Learn more about yourself and others. Have fun 😉