Kinky VS Dominant

[pu****]

In my search for a dominant I have determined that there is a difference between being a kinky person and being a dominant. Neither of them are better than the other, but being a dominant requires so many more emotional and non-physical aspects than just being kinky.
I’d be curious to hear everyone else’s take on this subject.

[DirtyHardRocker]

Id say you can be both. And depending on what your kinks are, being kinky can also require a lot of emotional and non physical aspects too. Personally I'm a very versatile person when it comes to anything sexual. Weather its my preferences for women, or the kinks i have. I love playing both sides of a role and I can be extremely mean and dominant but also extremely loving and nurturing. I seem to be a minority though as I find most people seem to either wanna be a dom or a sub and just like there one thing and that's all. I whereas I struggle to find anything in my search for everything. Maybe people are unsure of me because I have such a wide spectrum of desires. I just like to go with the flow. There is so much to explore and so many beautiful souls to meet and bond with.

[Deleted Member]

It's worries me that as a submissive you've raised dominants up here. Do you not appreciate the equal role that you play in the dynamic? I'm also loath to label and reward labels - those who call themselves "dominant" can show little understanding or interest in the emotional. I've been with some who wouldn't call themselves dominant, yet showed me far more care and thought.

[ey****]

I think on some of the simplest terms

Dominant is on the left of the D/s slash - but it's not the only role over there.

submissive is on the right of the D/s slash - but is not the only role over there.

Sometimes - people on the left of the slash describe themselves, or are acquainted as being, Dominant - just as sometimes people on the right of the slash describe themselves, or are acquainted as being, submissive.

Add in.... Dominants and submissives all have their own personalities and ways of doing things and expectancies on what they want from, and think the other, should be.

So, for example.... there are people for whom a cold, strict, cruel, sadist would be the perfect Dominant - and those who'd think "ugh, just another guy making it all about him when there's two of us" 

[Sir-Taz]

I couldn't agree more I'm very kinky and like to be dominant but I'm not a dom .

[Charms]

People can be dominant and not be into kink. Just think of people who train dogs an break in horses. They have to be dominate or show dominance in there job.

 

I'm domminante in my every day life but I'm a switch although been a sub for 4 years.

 

Also my dom aka master is very caring kind an considerate. After 4 years of being his sub he is also my registered carer.

 

Not because he refused to let me have some 1 else witch if I want I can. 

 

Its just as my master he is in tune with my body an can tell how much *** I'm in by way I react to his touch or way I close my eyes. Also I don't feel guilty or embarrassed when I need help washing or getting dressed

[pu****]

I agree with everything the everyone is saying because everyone is different and has different experiences.
I realize now that my post didn’t do a very good job of getting my main point across which is this:
BDSM is a spectrum and you can reside on any (and multiple) points if said spectrum. Just because you’re kinky doesn’t mean you’re a dominant and vice-versa.

[Pa****]

22 hours ago, Curvykate said:

It's worries me that as a submissive you've raised dominants up here. Do you not appreciate the equal role that you play in the dynamic? I'm also loath to label and reward labels - those who call themselves "dominant" can show little understanding or interest in the emotional. I've been with some who wouldn't call themselves dominant, yet showed me far more care and thought.

Absolutely agree with this .

[Charms]

But isn't that what a dom is a dominate

[Deleted Member]

I always tell new subs(& Doms) that a good Dom should accept a subs submission as a gift which must be respected and cherished. The Dom should put the health safety and well-being of the sub before his/her own needs or desires.