Online dynamics - thoughts?

[Kittygirl]

Hello all. I'm in a fairly new online dynamic with my Mistress. I am VERY happy with how things are going and she is also. I just wondered if many of you have had experience with similar dynamics or are in them currently and if you had any stories, advice, thoughts etc. on them. I wasn't sure it would work and thought it would feel really impersonal and silly but so far I am really enjoying it and she is a really amazing Domme and makes sure to reassure me and keep me feeling desired and wanted which I love. I'm interested to hear your thoughts/stories etc. on this please. And also any advice how to keep things interesting would be appreciated!  

[Deleted Member]

Why did you think it wouldn’t work? Because of you both being female?
Finding a connection, the right connection, feeling safe and desired is so much more than your sex. If it feels right then go with it. Enjoy x

[Kittygirl]

Oh no @Aimil2019 absolutely not, I'm pansexual so open to all genders, the thing I thought wouldn't work is the fact it's purely online and there will be no direct physical contact between us but I've come to realise that there is so much more to being submissive than sex and physical contact, I love the mental domination and even then there is so much you can do remotely to please each other physically! I thought I'd feel silly essentially slapping myself etc ha ha but when Mistress is watching and directing me it's so sensual and sexual without her even being here.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Kittygirl

[Deleted Member]

My mistake.
Far from silly! Not everyone is able to go as far as “slap” their selves not everyone is told to but the ones that are and can do it exceptionally well! For me, and only in my opinion, I think the connection is stronger sometimes because literally you are doing what I need you to do to fulfil both our needs. I am there with you just not in body. It’s very powerful when completely connected.

[Kittygirl]

Yes @Aimil2019thats been my experience, its so much more of an emotional and mental connection as you have to know what your Domme wants and they have to communicate that with you and as a Domme you need to know what your sub wants and can take and make sure they are safe when you arent able to be there in person. I'd love an in person dynamic but for me that isn't as practical as the online one I currently have and I find it so rewarding and satisfying. We are however looking for someone local to me to potentially play with me while Mistress watches so that will add another element.

[ge****]

Despite my words of caution elsewhere on the forums about on-line relationships and how easy it is to get caught up in them, I do think with the right person and the right connection they can be very "real".

Many years ago I formed just such a relationship with a Domme who was in Australia, we met in a chat room and it soon moved to ICQ (yes it was *that* long ago!!) and phone calls etc - and would be very much along the lines of what you have described Kittygirl - she'd instruct me and listen in and we used wordplay as a replacement for physical interaction etc and the feelings and sensations it generated were very "real".

It eventually came to an end for various reasons, not least timezones, but it was still very vivid and as close to reality as you could get.

Like any form of cyber or distance play it becomes about the connection and chemistry and being on the same wavelength rather than the physical presence - almost like they say about people who have lost their sight, whose other senses become heightened as a result.

Good cyber/distance play is a bit like a game of chess where each person anticipates the next move of the other.

[Kittygirl]

Yes @gemini_man I totally agree. I feel so connected with Mistress despite the distance and when we play or chat or interact in any way it's so sensual, easy and fun. I'm glad I found out about it as my husband isn't into kink at all and he agreed to allow me to have an online dynamic if it would satisfy me which it does. 

[ge****]

And so long as all concerned are on the same page and of the same understanding then long may it continue 🙂

Back to words of caution however, and I apologise if I seem like I'm raining on your parade or casting doubts, neither are my intention - firstly have you actually spoken to her or seen her on video and *know* she's a lady? I probably sound very cynical, but have learned through bitter experience that there are a *lot* of men who think nothing of posing as women.

Secondly, guard yourself against the inevitable temptation that will come to take things further and actually meet - it may only be a temptation, but the feelings may be very strong so prepare yourself for them.

[Kittygirl]

@gemini_man oh yes we have video chatted, swapped many photos and spoken on the phone so we're all good there! And she is in Vegas and I'm in the UK so very unlikely we'll actually meet! 

[Deleted Member]

What you describe there sounds wonderful @Kittygirl! And incredibly safe at the same time, so I'd say you have managed to get the best of both worlds. And with this post you've made me at least consider this as a first step if RL meetings aren't easily done with someone. Thanks 👍

[ge****]

[ge****]

[Deleted Member]

That’s why as a Domme we ask so many questions when playing on line. It’s a two way street that has to work in perfect harmony for us both. Glad your enjoying!

[Sev187]

How did u find this person? I’m looking for something similar. Looking for a daddy for an online relationship but don’t even know where to start.  Would eventually be open to meeting in person if things felt right and trust was established.  Where did u find this person?  Any tips are welcome. 

[ge****]

5 hours ago, u-61848c04123b4 said:

How did u find this person? I’m looking for something similar. Looking for a daddy for an online relationship but don’t even know where to start.  Would eventually be open to meeting in person if things felt right and trust was established.  Where did u find this person?  Any tips are welcome. 

I see from your profile you only just joined the site, so firstly welcome, and secondly you've come to the right place to find what you're looking for - maybe be clear about what you are seeking in your profile and set up a Kinky Ad here.

Be warned though, there are a lot of predatory men out there, and those that may have ideas of BDSM that don't align with your own - so be prepared to be confident about what you want and not compromise for anyone, even if they suggest you're not a "real/true sub" etc

[itsVanessa]

Really cool to hear about this

[Deleted Member]

I love this thread!!! Thanks all...... it is basically validation of a new relationship I am currently building online (for now) with someone I am sure is going to be the best Daddy! ❤️ xx

[TheBookCollector]

Online.dynamics.dont work for me personally as i need to get the feed back in person, also its hard to tie or spank someone over tge internet.

I am so very skeptical about the person on the other end of the ether, as there is so much more that you can tell about someone who is in front of you physically rather than being words on a screen. I take it you have spoken on video or mic and verified that it is indeed a real woman you are speaking to.

[SubmissiveCuckold]

Shared interests and an understanding of each others role as well respecting boundaries