ey**** Posted December 7, 2021 Posted December 7, 2021 A lot kinda ties in with why they are your owner in the first place. Why out of all the prospective owners in the world, why you serve her. And there could be lots of reasons. So - I dunno... if you walked into a bar and saw your owner and she was "round of drinks for me and all my friends" you would do it. Because she is your owner. But, the reason she asked in the first place was because she knew you had the budget, or, would make another sacrifice elsewhere in your life to help budget it. But if you walked into a bar and it was just some random woman then you might, rightfully, think "who the fuck are you?" - even though it's for her pleasure. Other examples could very well apply. But, ultimately, even though there are activities you might not like - you still have to, for the best part, enjoy your time together. That there has to be a reason why making *that person in particular* happy makes you happy.
Deleted Member Posted December 8, 2021 Author Posted December 8, 2021 (edited) On 12/7/2021 at 9:16 AM, nubianempress1 said: Edited December 8, 2021 by Deleted Member Repeat post.
Deleted Member Posted December 8, 2021 Author Posted December 8, 2021 On 12/7/2021 at 9:16 AM, nubianempress1 said: I have yet to receive my own pleasure. It's funny, I was talking about this just last night. It seems to me that subs, for the most part, think a Dommes pleasure lies in watching them get their jollies on! Then ask, 'did you enjoy that?' Saying 'I'll do whatever pleases you', then pleasing yourself is a pointless exercise, and guaranteed to eventually make me ignore you! If you are the Domme, do you not have the control of who gets the pleasure?
EmpressKK Posted December 11, 2021 Posted December 11, 2021 Wednesday at 11:47 AM, Lockfairy said: If you are the Domme, do you not have the control of who gets the pleasure? You should, if you are a good one. I'm just starting out, so still learning, and willing to give leeway. Don't judge, we all have to start from somewhere! Empress 🗣️ 🧎🏼 👸🏾
Deleted Member Posted December 11, 2021 Author Posted December 11, 2021 (edited) Person before kink. Easiest way to show you're not in it solely for your own pleasure. Edited December 11, 2021 by Deleted Member
Deleted Member Posted December 18, 2021 Author Posted December 18, 2021 On 12/11/2021 at 10:32 AM, nubianempress1 said: You should, if you are a good one. I'm just starting out, so still learning, and willing to give leeway. Don't judge, we all have to start from somewhere! Empress 🗣️ 🧎🏼 👸🏾 It was a question, not a judgement.
EmpressKK Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 December 18, 2021, Lockfairy said: It was a question, not a judgement. Don't take it so personal, it was directed to everyone in the discussion, and not an attack. It wasn't even meant to be anything, I was just talking as I normally would.
Deleted Member Posted January 18, 2022 Author Posted January 18, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, nubianempress1 said: Don't take it so personal, it was directed to everyone in the discussion, and not an attack. It wasn't even meant to be anything, I was just talking as I normally would. Perhaps you’re not familiar with forums, but might I suggest, if you’re talking to everyone in the discussion and don’t want anyone in particular to take things personally, it might be better not to quote a single person with your statement not to judge, mmm? Edited January 18, 2022 by Deleted Member
EmpressKK Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 2 hours ago, Lockfairy said: Perhaps you’re not familiar with forums, but might I suggest, if you’re talking to everyone in the discussion and don’t want anyone in particular to take things personally, it might be better not to quote a single person with your statement not to judge, mmm? Mmm I said what I meant, and I meant what I said. Explained and done. Have a good Tuesday.
tank722 Posted January 18, 2022 Posted January 18, 2022 I think this comes down 2 things… in particular, I think male subs and newer male subs take time to understand service and what it really means… which is not a finding a fetish dispenser and the key word here is understand. I think the right approach to take is in those initial chats trying to establish if the prospective Domme has similar interests to the sub in their kinks. If they really don’t match then I would think the sub is gonna be tempted to, or inadvertently try topping from the bottom which I think many Dommes find deeply unattractive - I mean think about it, if you are dominant and basically you end up doing all the kinky fuckery your sub wants to do.. who is serving who? If you both find that your kinks do align somewhat, and you both want to take it further it is down to the sub (new or not) to lay out the boundaries and limits and when that happens, then just let things unfold... which I get is not so easy especially when you are new and you want to try everything, right now. The sub might have all the power in creating those boundaries and limits but ultimately, it’s not all about the sub after that point.
Tonori Posted November 1 Posted November 1 As I've usually understood things, to the extent we can, - irrespective of d or s - the responsibility is to learn the other & through the different roles, urges & actions, work with them. Understand and skill-up in getting that sweet spot, just right. Expand on it, in your own particular way. Feed it, develop the flow, open to & bring out all that you can when you can. Lean into the growing flow, until it is bigger than both of you and leap. ...Joy. The status is the vehicle , it is how you get there. Not the constraint on how much of yourself you invest.
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