Deleted Member Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 What's the point any more...? I'm too polite to cold-call you and you're not interested enough to message me... . And round and round we go... . Everyone's too damn afraid to make the first move now... . Can't be too obvious I like you... . Can't be too obvious I like your face... . Can't be too obvious I want to know more about you... . Can't be too obvious I might want more than just a one off... . Can't be too obvious that your legs drive me crazy??! . What a crock of... . Meanwhile, we're all longing for something more... . A connection that matters... . Someone to care for who cares for us in return... . Something that matters, that means it and just wants to stay... . Something that dares to threaten your world and blow it so wide open you question how it ever worked before... . Something that means to grab you by the heart and say I got you and I ain't letting you go... . Something that, just for once, says, if you fall... You fall into my arms, I'm here, waiting to catch you... . There's almost none of that left now... . What a sorry world it's all become... 💔
Pe**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 I believe the point is that if you want your slice of paradise then you can’t expect this sorry world to change, you need to muster the courage to change yourself. Leave politeness to your vanilla connections, bring on the tiger, it’s been crouching for far too long.
Re**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 Politeness is pointless; fragile entitlement to hollow hierarchy! Be honest and kind, be crass and creative, be rude and wholesome.. show up! Listen and learn to different ways of doing things. Maybe you’re Neurodivergent? We can often feel like aliens; recognizing bizarre social norms and lack of direct communication.. paradigms can shift; but you have to start with your own values and judgements…
Sh**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 It's a really thin line to tread. If you are a veritable Adonis then you can say what you like. If your currency isn't looks, but wit, charm and decency, then that's the card you have to play. Personally, I do take the time to read a profile. If someone interests me I will spend the time to craft a suitable message. At the end of the day, if my message falls on deaf ears, or I don't fit the picture they have in their head, it seems it would be fruitless to persue further anyway. I wrote an article on this the other day. You'd be surprised how many people are actually tired of the 'f**kbois' sliding into their DMs having only looked at pictures.
Mi**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 @Shockr you say that but I get a couple profile views a day because of my picture but no messages, and my messages highlighting what I liked from their profile falls on deaf ears 😆 I'm beginning to think it's not ok for guys to act on looks, but then...
Deleted Member Posted May 21, 2022 Author Posted May 21, 2022 4 hours ago, PerthS said: I believe the point is that if you want your slice of paradise then you can’t expect this sorry world to change, you need to muster the courage to change yourself. Leave politeness to your vanilla connections, bring on the tiger, it’s been crouching for far too long. Heh, I like what you're saying... My tiger is sleeping, not dead... And look's a lot like a kitten to the uninitiated but trust me... He's there... 😂😉👊👌
FluttsW Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 I think a LOT of the problem is not being able to read the room and knowing how to speak to someone. We get on our computers and say to ourselves....Ok well let's shoot my shot and then say idiotic things. Most women ( yes me included) want chatting like it is a normal arena like a bar or gym or grocery store etc. You wouldn't walk up to someone and just blurt out some of the things that are said in first messages here. That's why a lot of the times they get ignored.
Mi**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 Hey FluttsW! Okay true, but so do regular messages, you're right that being too descriptive can put people off because it suggests a lack of restraint but the messages I start with say what kind of arrangement I'm looking for, refer to their bio to suggest common interests and only cite specific kinks if they are stated on someone's bio, and usually get nothing back (even from those who have visited my profile already) so do you have any suggestions on how a good way to intro yourself? What kind of messages do you appreciate from guys? Thanks for your help 😄
Deleted Member Posted May 22, 2022 Author Posted May 22, 2022 1 hour ago, ActionPotential said: closed mouths don't get feed I like that! 🎯👌
CopperKnob Posted May 22, 2022 Posted May 22, 2022 19 hours ago, MisterE1989 said: Hey FluttsW! Okay true, but so do regular messages, you're right that being too descriptive can put people off because it suggests a lack of restraint but the messages I start with say what kind of arrangement I'm looking for, refer to their bio to suggest common interests and only cite specific kinks if they are stated on someone's bio, and usually get nothing back (even from those who have visited my profile already) so do you have any suggestions on how a good way to intro yourself? What kind of messages do you appreciate from guys? Thanks for your help 😄 I do. I personally don't respond to messages from those outlining the relationship they're looking for. Why would you think you want a relationship with someone you've never interacted with? Why would you think I would? I also don't want to hear about other peoples kinks straight off the bat. What's the point if there's no relationship? I'm not going to let someone tie me with rope on the basis of a single message. For me a first message should be an opening to a vanilla conversation. Getting to know each other. To do otherwise seems, to me, to be assumptive and impatient. Yes Fet is a dating site but I don't want to date everyone here. Lay the groundwork and build on it.
Mi**** Posted May 22, 2022 Posted May 22, 2022 30 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: I do. I personally don't respond to messages from those outlining the relationship they're looking for. Why would you think you want a relationship with someone you've never interacted with? Why would you think I would? I also don't want to hear about other peoples kinks straight off the bat. What's the point if there's no relationship? I'm not going to let someone tie me with rope on the basis of a single message. For me a first message should be an opening to a vanilla conversation. Getting to know each other. To do otherwise seems, to me, to be assumptive and impatient. Yes Fet is a dating site but I don't want to date everyone here. Lay the groundwork and build on it. Yeah that makes perfect sense, from what I've been writing to people, that's what tends to get the most responses. It can be tricky as it does seem like you then have to spend the rest of the interaction trying to "feel out" the other person's intentions (which I failed to do last time I dated and got played) but I guess we have the tags and I think people use them honestly enough to say if they either want casual or serious. Ty
Mi**** Posted May 22, 2022 Posted May 22, 2022 38 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: I do. I personally don't respond to messages from those outlining the relationship they're looking for. Why would you think you want a relationship with someone you've never interacted with? Why would you think I would? I also don't want to hear about other peoples kinks straight off the bat. What's the point if there's no relationship? I'm not going to let someone tie me with rope on the basis of a single message. For me a first message should be an opening to a vanilla conversation. Getting to know each other. To do otherwise seems, to me, to be assumptive and impatient. Yes Fet is a dating site but I don't want to date everyone here. Lay the groundwork and build on it. Oh but just to be clear, I'm not saying if I hypothetically state I want a relationship, that I'm directly propositioning someone, I'm just being up front that I don't want ONS or other more casual things, I guess this sort of stuff is better placed in the bio, which I have done - Most members don't put vanilla interests/hobbies in the bio, so I should ask about those, and throw in a bit of banter/joking and see what comes of it like any other app, yeah?
FluttsW Posted May 27, 2022 Posted May 27, 2022 On 5/22/2022 at 9:41 AM, MisterE1989 said: Oh but just to be clear, I'm not saying if I hypothetically state I want a relationship, that I'm directly propositioning someone, I'm just being up front that I don't want ONS or other more casual things, I guess this sort of stuff is better placed in the bio, which I have done - Most members don't put vanilla interests/hobbies in the bio, so I should ask about those, and throw in a bit of banter/joking and see what comes of it like any other app, yeah? That would be a darned good start and most likely get you more responses!
FluttsW Posted May 27, 2022 Posted May 27, 2022 On 5/22/2022 at 6:56 AM, ActionPotential said: closed mouths don't get feed Neither do the ones that are too far open though. It's a " game" if you like of knowing what to say and when to say it. Like I said approach us with the same words you would out in public.
ho**** Posted June 12, 2022 Posted June 12, 2022 Buddy, being polite isn't a bad thing. There is such a thing as being too polite. You have to be confident and, carry your motives as well. I really look up to you sir. Alot of people aren't polite to these women here. Your far better a man than you give yourself credit for.
Deleted Member Posted June 17, 2022 Author Posted June 17, 2022 Sunday at 06:50 AM, houston784 said: Buddy, being polite isn't a bad thing. There is such a thing as being too polite. You have to be confident and, carry your motives as well. I really look up to you sir. Alot of people aren't polite to these women here. Your far better a man than you give yourself credit for. @houston784 Hello, my apologies, I've only just been able to respond to your message... 😳 . (my local cell tower's being upgraded to 5g and keeps having a total hissy fit over it all, connected one second and not the next... I'm data only, no wifi here, been an absolute nightmare and a really good job I already don't have the hair I'd otherwise be tearing out!?). 😂🙄😅 . I just wanted to thank you for your acknowledgement. That's very kind of you to say. 😊👊
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