A no offensive way to say HELLO

[Deleted Member]

Hi everyone, please share some ideas of you wether online or at a local munch, how do you approach people and break the ice?

This is my first day on this website, I hope the way I approach people will not offend them in any way

Edited June 4, 2022 by Deleted Member
Missing word

[ey****]

at a munch "Hello, I am xxxxxxx it is my first time" is as good a way as any to break the ice

online.  different people have different kinda pre-requisites but kinda an acceptance that not everyone will drop everything to talk to you - but - perhaps, a reason to have a conversation - so, why do you want to message them in particular ?

"Hey, I saw you in the forums/chat/whatever would you be interested in chatting about whatever" 

[Deleted Member]

This what I go with when speaking to people face to face at a munch, I ask the person I wish to speak with the following question "Are you available to chat?", I allow the person I wish to speak with the opportunity to say yes they would like to chat, no they would not, or alternatively offer an alternative time to chat, as in "I am not available now, however I will be in 10mins, I can speak then". The person asking i.e. me is clear on wheather the other person wishes to chat and I am not left wasting time hoping to chat to a person who is not interetsed in chatting with me. Save me time and allows me to spend my energy chatting to people who do wish to chat.

[Ni****]

Online, say Hi - but say more than just Hi ! Say why you've messaged them, and show that you've actually taken the time to read their profile. You won't always get a reply, and it will take time. And No / Not interested still means No; don't take it personally. Good luck !

[DeviantInside]

Online… there are very few people I send an opening message to… and when I do it would be very specific to that person, the reason I have engaged with them, and why I feel we match, authentically, being myself not trying to be what I think they may want me to be. If you try to be anything other than yourself it will very quickly become apparent… and that’s assuming that what you THINK they are looking for is even correct in the first place. I would always have someone like or reject me for me than build up anything based on pretence. In munches… well I’ve had a slightly alternative route into the scene where I was as introduced into the London scene by someone that knew everyone, so I was going to afterparties and clubs etc as an already accepted person. I have only been to my first couple of munches this year (20 years on from my introduction to the London scene) and what I did was… treat people as people. Asked what they were into, bored people to death about my own passions (not necessarily kink related), and got to know people without any ulterior motive or expectation. That seemed to work.