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[Mo****]

16 hours ago, pe4chiie said:

The basis for every interaction you have with ANYONE should be respect for their person. If a man can't help but be disrespectful just because a lady feels beautiful in her photos, maybe he shouldn't message her at all. Your mindset is the same as those who blame a lady for getting catcalled when she wears an outfit she feels attractive in. Why isn't it the men's fault for not having some self control to not be disrespectful? Why can't they stick a cork in it for two seconds while a woman goes about her day. Your mindset is a frightening one, Mr. Intelligent and Deep.

You do realise he's not blaming women in his post? If you've ever read any of @Aranhis posts you will find that his mindset is anything but frightening. He does say right at the start he finds the concept disturbing!

[Deleted Member]

21 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's two thoughts I have

the first is - if you look at a profile and think "fuck, having a conversation with them is going to be hard" - then... why message them?  You already know it's going to be difficult if you cannot think of anything to ask and you also know there is a good chance they're going to get bored quickly if they do reply, because you already don't know where to go

the second thought

the wider web has a whole bunch of questions or icebreakers to ask on online dating sites - but - to me, some seem better than others.

the third is...

scrap that...

what do you want to know about the person? what do you want to talk about? remember even if you are initially interested you can become disinterested if, for example, you ask their thoughts on certain dynamics or subjects.

if you don't know what to ask them, is there anything you can volunteer about yourself which can help get talking points?  

 

I'm not saying it's easy (I know it's not) but "she hasn't given me much to talk about" - ok, so, don't open dialogue with her

The most obvious question is, why are you here and what are you looking for? But lots of people won't answer that(I don't know why, it gets to the point and avoids a lot of random bullshit).  I basically wouldn't message anyone(and sort of don't) if I limited myself to profiles which weren't essentially empty. On regular OLD 50% or so of women provide some relevant information about themselves. 

I'm an open book, want to know what I eat? When I go to bed? What I masturbate to? How many dogs I have? What I do for work? What my issues are with my father or my personal ***s and failures? Ask away! But getting people here(in my case women) to put even the least bit of effort in is like pulling teeth. 

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, sigbro said:

The most obvious question is, why are you here and what are you looking for? But lots of people won't answer that(I don't know why, it gets to the point and avoids a lot of random bullshit).  I basically wouldn't message anyone(and sort of don't) if I limited myself to profiles which weren't essentially empty. On regular OLD 50% or so of women provide some relevant information about themselves. 

I'm an open book, want to know what I eat? When I go to bed? What I masturbate to? How many dogs I have? What I do for work? What my issues are with my father or my personal ***s and failures? Ask away! But getting people here(in my case women) to put even the least bit of effort in is like pulling teeth. 

Do you think there's a reason why some people are reticent about sharing personal information straight off the bat on a Fetish app?

[ey****]

2 hours ago, sigbro said:

  I basically wouldn't message anyone(and sort of don't) if I limited myself to profiles which weren't essentially empty.

I mentioned somewhere else that in the past 2 years I've got a conversation going with 66% of the people I reached out to first.

But then. I only reached out to 3 people.

It is OK to limit yourself.

Of course; there are conversations to different degrees with people who reached out to me first - although I haven't took the assumption they're interested. I do, however, enjoy chatting with them and anything could happen in the future.

2 hours ago, sigbro said:

Ask away! But getting people here(in my case women) to put even the least bit of effort in is like pulling teeth. 

the reason folk don't ask is cos they're not yet interested

if you reached to someone; you're the one trying to impress and get a conversation going with them.  

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Do you think there's a reason why some people are reticent about sharing personal information straight off the bat on a Fetish app?

I don't think it's any different than a regular dating website, I suppose the people could be more "creepy" but if a dude was going to violate someone in some way why would he limit victims to fetish websites? 

I suppose if you are embarrassed about your kink and don't want it known - for some kinks it's worse I suppose but eh - saying you want to tie up and spank or be tied up and spanked I don't think is a big deal. 

Also I'm not asking for your address lol, just anything to have some type of equitable conversation. 

 

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I mentioned somewhere else that in the past 2 years I've got a conversation going with 66% of the people I reached out to first.

But then. I only reached out to 3 people.

It is OK to limit yourself.

Of course; there are conversations to different degrees with people who reached out to me first - although I haven't took the assumption they're interested. I do, however, enjoy chatting with them and anything could happen in the future.

the reason folk don't ask is cos they're not yet interested

if you reached to someone; you're the one trying to impress and get a conversation going with them.  

Should people just upload a picture of their bank account and toys? I don't understand the concept of impressing someone who hasn't even attempted to create a conversation or show the slightest bit of effort. If I talk to someone in person I ask about their day, if they are having a good time, etc(shit people say is "boring" here).    

[ey****]

19 minutes ago, sigbro said:

I don't understand the concept of impressing someone who hasn't even attempted to create a conversation or show the slightest bit of effort. If I talk to someone in person I ask about their day, if they are having a good time, etc(shit people say is "boring" here).    

so again

if you don't think they are putting in effort - WHY ARE YOU CONTACTING THEM?!

[Deleted Member]

What you on about? A person can have whatever they desire in their profile. It not for you to judge or dictate. If you don't want a LTR, swipe left and move on instead of being judgemental.