A submissive approaching a Domimant?

[se****]

Well send his little a message first or him depending on what you want

[un****]

Being upfront about what you expect and like is going to take time. You need to be comfortable enough to Express your desires and feelings

[wa****]

Sure approach

[No****]

Nothing wrong with approaching. I have met most submissives this way. Just be direct and clear. I also get a lot of playing games messages trying to trick me into figure out what they want. I am personally not interested in those kind of interactions. Either you are clear on what you want, or you clearly state you want to figure it out. Playing games is something that bores quickly for me personally.

[wo****]

I’d be totally ok for a sub to approach me. Being direct is the way to go

[ma****]

15 hours ago, Noctris said:

Nothing wrong with approaching. I have met most submissives this way. Just be direct and clear. I also get a lot of playing games messages trying to trick me into figure out what they want. I am personally not interested in those kind of interactions. Either you are clear on what you want, or you clearly state you want to figure it out. Playing games is something that bores quickly for me personally.

What do you mean by games messages? Clearly, a sub should vet for a few months a potential Dom... A sub might show interest in vetting a potential Dom, but it is unlikely that a submissive will start telling you about their kinks or wanting a D/s dynamic with you within the first messages or weeks... so if you expect a sub to tell you their kinks or that they want a D/s dynamic with you when they don't even know you...then that is very unlikely to happen, unless they are unexperienced subs who haven't done their research. A sub showing interest, but not wanting to tell you their kinks or not wanting to play with you soon or not wanting you to become their Dom (because you are a stranger to begin with) - all those are not games if those are the kind of games you reffer to.

[No****]

2 hours ago, maryioni said:

What do you mean by games messages? Clearly, a sub should vet for a few months a potential Dom... A sub might show interest in vetting a potential Dom, but it is unlikely that a submissive will start telling you about their kinks or wanting a D/s dynamic with you within the first messages or weeks... so if you expect a sub to tell you their kinks or that they want a D/s dynamic with you when they don't even know you...then that is very unlikely to happen, unless they are unexperienced subs who haven't done their research. A sub showing interest, but not wanting to tell you their kinks or not wanting to play with you soon or not wanting you to become their Dom (because you are a stranger to begin with) - all those are not games if those are the kind of games you reffer to.

I mean more like approaching with "hi how are you" and then not really creating a conversation or expecting the Dom to lead the conversation from that point. I mean, when your write someone I am guessing you have an interest and/or questions or want to get to know them. Obviously I don't expect immediate kink talk and/or a D/s, but as you say yourself: vetting the Dom and the person to me implies making conversation and asking questions. Which in my experience often does not happen.

[ma****]

6 hours ago, Noctris said:

I mean more like approaching with "hi how are you" and then not really creating a conversation or expecting the Dom to lead the conversation from that point. I mean, when your write someone I am guessing you have an interest and/or questions or want to get to know them. Obviously I don't expect immediate kink talk and/or a D/s, but as you say yourself: vetting the Dom and the person to me implies making conversation and asking questions. Which in my experience often does not happen.

I understand your point now. Yes, I agree with you on that. If someone is interested in someone there should be conversations... I'd say many conversations. The Dom should not lead the conversation. Both of them should put effort into getting to know each other in and out.

[Deleted Member]

Theoretically, the submissive part is the one who must make the decision of who they want to give their body and mind to, the initial approach can be carried out by anyone, but it is the submissive part who makes the first step by communicating to the dominant part that they want to be their possession, since the dominant party is the one who makes the last decision, and decides whether or not to accept the submission of the other person with all the responsibilities that this entails, emotional, physical and affective responsibility, responsibility for growth as a person and as a submissive, responsibility for physical and psychological safety, being dominant has many responsibilities, that is why it is not so easy to accept the delivery of the submissive part, really the emotional ties are only maintained if there is a real commitment between the dominant part and the submissive part.
*This is my personal perspective*

[Ma****]

There is nothing wrong with a submissive initiating a relationship. After all, she too has needs.

[ao****]

I have received tons of messages from subs, I would check if they are a fit. But I usually approach to subs first, coz I know exactly what types of people I prefer.

[Ai****]

I personally find it really flattering whenever I don’t have to be the one to make the first move. Regardless of orientation. I would in fact encourage again regardless of orientation that if interested reach out. Just decide some boundaries in advance and maintain your principles, just incase.

[Master716]

Absolutely nothing wrong with taking the initiative.  It's gutsy and appreciated and takes the pressure off the Dom.

[Ae****]

It's f**king adorable and makes me f**king melt.
That's my take, maybe I'm a freak lol

[Ma****]

Love it when a new submissive takes interest

[bi****]

It is totally okay.

[bi****]

A sub girl approaching a dom male is so 🤬 sexy

[Ro****]

On 10/3/2022 at 7:34 PM, maryioni said:

I am curious what are your thoughts on a submissive approaching a Dominant and expressing interest in him? Should a Dominant be the first one showing interest in a submissive or is it okay if a submissive does it too?

wow, this is a very interested question by my point of view. I can tell you what I think about it, but please this is just my personal opinion and someone else ight be totally disagreed. As a master I really like when someones send me a first approach message and I think there is nothing wrong about it. I use to approach to a profile I'm interested in but of course I think this is normal for a Dom.

However, at the beginning even a relation Dom/sub can start with a simple hey or hi, then talking about us and our roles and then just start... but as I said this is just my opinion ( so now, feel you free to send me a message ok ? :))

So if a Sub wants to find a Dom why not start sending him a message? It can be the beginning of something important

[Deleted Member]

A sub approaching a Dom is acceptable. She chooses who she submits to, slaves submit to all. If a Dom has his sub submitting constantly without question, she is his slave. That’s how I see it.

[mr****]

Absolutely fine doms are human some can be shy at first and knowing someone is interested is a big confidence boost

[4R****]

9 hours ago, Trainer4slut said:

slaves submit to all

That's a scary comment to make. A slave submits only to their owner or to others at the instruction of their owner if that is something that was negotiated. Nobody else has any authority over a slave.

[4R****]

It really doesn't matter who approaches who. The important thing is that somebody makes the other aware of their interest and finds out if it's mutual. Roles are really of no consequence at the initial stage as when you first meet someone, you meet as equals until negotiations have taken place and submission is given. 

Edited January 1, 2023 by 4RCH

[Si****]

Say hi and show interest and believe me, he will take it from there, if he is interested.

[ta****]

imo - I feel like the initial approach can be carried out by anyone.

[ma****]

If you are interested just a simple hi would be good don't be shy then I will take it from there