fr**** Posted April 13, 2023 Posted April 13, 2023 as Taylor previously said, the initial approach can be carried out by literally anyone. Don't be afraid, just hop in and see if it works. You won't lose nothing doing it
Un**** Posted April 20, 2023 Posted April 20, 2023 I absolutely hate it when subs are pushy or demanding. If the first message they send me is about dominating them, i just won’t have any interest into talking to them. Be human. Talk like a normal person.
Ae**** Posted April 21, 2023 Posted April 21, 2023 Thursday at 02:42 PM, Unholy-Mali said: I absolutely hate it when subs are pushy or demanding. If the first message they send me is about dominating them, i just won’t have any interest into talking to them. Be human. Talk like a normal person. If a sub was demanding with me, it'd be over right there and then. Come correct or we do not have a dom/sub dynamic.
TheSpicyCleaner Posted April 24, 2023 Posted April 24, 2023 Surely before you enter a dynamic with someone, you are just two people. Personally if I reached out to a Dom and he didn't like my "go get em" attitude, I'd take that as a sign we're probably not gonna make a good pair. 👍
Un**** Posted May 1, 2023 Posted May 1, 2023 As a sub, I will contact a Dom if I'm interested, but I try to stay humble, "little", and use "Sir". I will also say things like, please message back if you'd like or if you are interested, always making sure they know I am giving them the control.
Da**** Posted May 5, 2023 Posted May 5, 2023 There is nothing wrong with a sub approaching me and inquiring about my services. Nothing wrong with that at all.
Co**** Posted May 5, 2023 Posted May 5, 2023 I do approach Doms,......we re both humans after all. I m polite, and try and be as authentically me as I can. I ve learned to be more discerning, having only been into this for just over a year. I wouldn't call anyone Sir initially . Giving my Submission, and truly feeling it, would be a big deal for me. Oh my Perfect Dom. where are you?😄😘
Deleted Member Posted May 8, 2023 Posted May 8, 2023 I'm a switch and I feel if you want it go for it hate miss out on something real
Ki**** Posted May 15, 2023 Posted May 15, 2023 I like that. I would want a woman or women that's submissive to approach me and tell me what they want and need from me. That's a major turn on for me
Deleted Member Posted June 17, 2023 Posted June 17, 2023 I absolutely 100% believe a sub should contact a Dom they are interested in. I look at that as an honor if a sub looks at my profile and thinks "hmm he seems like someone that checks my boxes, I'll ask if I check any of his". I mean as a Dom I send out messages regularly when I'm searching for a sub and 9 out of 10 times I don't even get an acknowledgement that they read it. Even a "thanks but no." Would be fine but something to show human decency. I took the time to write a well thought out message that is usually a paragraph or more. I would think that a simple reply wouldn't be that hard. I respond to every person that writes me...even the ones that clearly didn't read my profile or send just a "yo" and that's it. So yes it is perfectly acceptable for a sub to make the first contact with a Dom and I know how hard or nerve-wracking that can be.
Va**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 If a sub approaches me in here, or in real life, and shows the proper respect (a simple well placed Sir), then I would consider it fair play if I’m alone or reflected as such. . If I’m with another, in lifestyle or not, it would be an impressive sub that could negotiate that act properly, and she would definitely get my attention. . Do it wrong… displeased and quickly dismissed are terms that come to mind.
Sa**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 So this question depends on if we are talking in real life, or online? The sub (my switch self) in me has approached and vetted a couple of Doms online but honestly, I just want to kneel for someone in person. I’m just not sure how to do it online only. So can I approach a Dom in the real world?
Va**** Posted June 21, 2023 Posted June 21, 2023 I live in an 80,000 community and a few times pretty little strangers have happened by me with smiles and undeserving twinkles in the eyes that make me wonder if they have seen me online somewhere, which means here. - A straight on posture (show your confidence), with an interesting comment (show your intelligence), and follow your “Sir” (wherever you put it) with a direct gaze. If he’s us, he’ll know what to do next. - That would get, and probably keep my attention, at least for awhile. Next: try not to say anything too stupid (Male First Date 101). - Honesty - straight out of the gate and always. - You never lie to your doctor, your lawyer, or your Dom. You do lie like a mofo to your CPA.
Co**** Posted June 21, 2023 Posted June 21, 2023 Re last 2 comms.....SanVan72 and VanIsleborn........ I didn't think a Dom was entitled to be called Sir, unless he's earned your Submission ....... ... Try not to say anything stupid??!!! Abit much What about nerves, sense of humour etc SanVan72 ,.... You just want to kneel for someone in person.......take your time, find the right one x I dived in too early and got hurt. I ve learned alot more now. X
4R**** Posted June 21, 2023 Posted June 21, 2023 34 minutes ago, CosmicAngel said: I didn't think a Dom was entitled to be called Sir, unless he's earned your Submission ....... There's no hard and fast rule on that - some like to address every Dominant with an honorific, other's don't. But any Dominant worth their salt won't 'demand' it.
Va**** Posted June 21, 2023 Posted June 21, 2023 3 hours ago, 4RCH said: There's no hard and fast rule on that - some like to address every Dominant with an honorific, other's don't. But any Dominant worth their salt won't 'demand' it. Entitled - no, I agree - but it’s a nice show of respect to someone wanting to walk up cold, and indicate we walk in the same world. “Try not to say anything too stupid” is tongue in cheek standard first date advice for men. Please keep in mind, I write the words but y’all add the context in this world of finger tappin’.
Va**** Posted June 21, 2023 Posted June 21, 2023 Proof of point: that sweet little one that passed me in that hospital hallway - in scrubs and masked - with a smile (that smile) which could only be seen in her eyes… If she had said “Good morning, sir”, or anything of the like, I would have spun on my heels and figured out something (hopefully not too stupid) to say. Remember where the power truly lies.
Deleted Member Posted June 22, 2023 Posted June 22, 2023 As a sub myself I have approached doms. I'm a very confident outgoing person and im No way a sub in day to day life. But in the bedroom I'm full sub. Confident but very submissive. So I suppose its up to the dom on if they are happy to have a Confident sub or a shy sub.
Go**** Posted June 27, 2023 Posted June 27, 2023 Be polite! No: ‘Hey’ or ‘your fit’ one or two words message. Be polite, apologize for jumping in their inbox. Inform them about yourself and what you like and how you are able to serve.
Deleted Member Posted June 27, 2023 Posted June 27, 2023 No problems whatsoever. If they've read your background and feel like they want to approach you that's ok. Especially if the Dom/sub have matching kinks/limits. As long as you're respectful, polite and don't step out of line (😛) I don't see any issue with it.
Deleted Member Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 I would be way to shy to even consider approaching a dom!!! Good for you girl.
Mr**** Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 3 hours ago, denton798 said: I would be way to shy to even consider approaching a dom!!! Good for you girl. 1st time is the hardest thing to do on line with an un known, but you will have to take the risk at some point 👉
xF**** Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 Hell yeah, I have absolutely no issue in sending the first message, I know what I want and have no problems in letting that person know 😝
TheBookCollector Posted July 1, 2023 Posted July 1, 2023 Why would it depend the where you are on the D/s spectrum S to.who sends the first message.
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