Am I in the wrong?

[go****]

You are right 200 percent

[Deleted Member]

Submission is earned not the other way around.

[ti****]

Naa he's wrong.. you correct👍

[Wo****]

So…just asking questions.

So what you are saying is you won’t fully submit to him unless he marries you?

[Mi****]

Sounds like he's the heartless one.but you don't really want him at this point because he is showing you and has showed you that he's NEVER going to be what you really want from him. Best thing is to move on at this point

[Deleted Member]

I think that being claimed by your Dom is acceptable to fully commit to them. You don't need to be married to them, you just need to be fully identified as someone's exclusive sub.

[do****]

He’s not your true dom. No offense.

[lo****]

I *think* what she is trying to say is, If he doesn't want to claim her, he doesn't get the benefits of her full submission.

Don't want to put words in her mouth, but I *think* that was what she was trying to say.

And I completely agree with her. WHY would I give EVERYTHING to someone who doesn't want to claim me? You EARN being given a sub's submission by making them feel safe, loved, and earning their trust.

If you DEMAND full submission, you are NOT deserving of it. ESPECIALLY if you won't even claim the sub.

[bi****]

Definitely- seems like he is only interested in getting what works for him and not hearing what you need and want.

[sn****]

Im not that into the whole marriage idea myself, but you have to do what’s right for you. I think many people are in this for the kink rather than the love. You have to be on the same page.

[ILOVESHVDPIE69]

no not wrong! if closer i claim u all the way around!! just saying! you got decisions to make if dont do anything just have more of the same!!

[Se****]

25 minutes ago, ILOVESHVDPIE69 said:

no not wrong! if closer i claim u all the way around!! just saying! you got decisions to make if dont do anything just have more of the same!!

Really? You can’t answer a simple question without being a creep?!

[B4****]

Stick to your boundaries ☺️ he’s only looking out for himself so make sure you do the same for you. Someone told me recently, why settle for only half of what you want when you can wait get find everything you deserve in someone else?

[Sweetpotatoetwo]

Definitely chuck him. Don't waste another minute of your time on a dom like that.

[Ma****]

Sounds like it's a toxic set up.

[Deleted Member]

It's absolutly your right to act differently based on how commited of a relationship your in. Kink dynamics can progress a lot faster than a normal relationship, I think it's because they require a lot of trust up front, hitting the breaks on one because the other needs more time is perfectly acceptable, if you surggest that and a partner opposes it as an idea on it's own, they weren't looking for a LTR and it's not gonna work.


However, a lot of people these days, including myself, don't really believe in marriage. There's a fair few reasons to not like it, the fact it adds bureaucracy the interpesonal, can be financially damaging and used maliciously, hell just the ceremony alone can be a lot of faff that's too much for people.

Then there's only one reason to want marriage, and that's the symbolic statement, the romantic image. Which, you either connect too or you don't.

At the end of the day you should kinda already be in a commited LTR, before you get married, even if getting married is really important too you it's just a milestone, you godda travel the path before it. (That's not to imply you shouldn't stick too your guns on the dynamic side btw).You need to have a frank comversation with this guy about his intentions and consider if his actions really line up with what you want from a committed partner, if either of them are a no, a ring isn't gonna make them a yes, go find another fella.

[RainbowTea]

5 hours ago, SHONDARBY said:

If ur not gonna abide by A dom and obey him fully let him go find A worthy sub that knows her place and isnt submissive by choice it aint about yall ladies 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

👀👀 and this people, is exactly how an UNworthy "Dom" acts. Submissives and switches out there beware, this is *EXACTLY* the type of "Dom" you should steer clear of. 😬🤡🚩🚩🚩

This is somebody who clearly doesn't know how true submission works and is only gonna take advantage of you. This is how *** starts.

True submission *IS* a choice. It ain't true submission otherwise.

 

How about you know *YOUR* place, Shon. It ain't all about you 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

You do not want to submit to him reading this. Do not waste your time, life is too short. You will find someone who will make you want to submit. Remember it is the greatest gift

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, RainbowTea said:

👀👀 and this people, is exactly how an UNworthy "Dom" acts. Submissives and switches out there beware, this is *EXACTLY* the type of "Dom" you should steer clear of. 😬🤡🚩🚩🚩

This is somebody who clearly doesn't know how true submission works and is only gonna take advantage of you. This is how *** starts.

True submission *IS* a choice. It ain't true submission otherwise.

 

How about you know *YOUR* place, Shon. It ain't all about you 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm not down for *** to a dom switch or sub to make it clear, for me submission isn't a choice at all it's ingrained in our biology particularly between men and women. When a true dominant male walks into a room submission is neither asked for or decided, ladies don't put barriers up and blockades until they know the male better ect they simply automatically submit through instinct. If you have to decide to submit to anyone it's because you don't find them dominating to begin with. My advice for happy d/s dynamic is if your a sub do not have contact with and waste a doms time if you haven't submitted before even saying hello because the doms or there didn't decide they were gunna dom you, there are alot of gorgeous subs on this site and the dom already knows they want to dom you before the first point of contact most of the time. The same respect should be shown for a doms time and let's face it the dynamic itself is way more taxing on time, energy, effort, finances, planning, pleasure and aftercare. Doms don't have time to slowly draw out submission, and they also don't slowly, gradually dominate you either. As for this threads specific example it's an easy one , your not making each other happy, your not in love so leave and find someone else. It's a waste of both your time if you don't.

[Goddess_Fifi]

He sounds very entitled, I would move on.

[Je****]

Nah he's a walking red flag. Can't have his cake and eat it, so he's then calling you names etc. RUN.

[Je****]

8 hours ago, Serenity7 said:

Traditionally, the submissive is under considertion until/unless they earn being claimed.

Interesting. I know it as the dominant is the one who has to earn the submission of someone. Keep sub under consideration sure, but in any dynamic the sub is the one who yields the power to be honest. 

That's what I was always taught. (I am a switch).

[Je****]

6 hours ago, Daddy_Apollo said:

Submission is earned not the other way around.

This is my understanding. 

[Je****]

Also for the 3 or 4 men on this post who would "100%, claim you". 

 

Mate you know nothing about D/s dynamics. You don't even know the Poster of this thread, and yet you'd claim them? You sound as shady, naïve and inexperienced as the troublesome dominant the person is writing about. Not to mention it's disrespectful. Please think about what you're saying to STRANGERS on the internet.

[ILOVESHVDPIE69]

apologize for coming off. like a creep! i think you need to chat with husband long and deep conversation do your best to get everything out in open so you proceed in future and be happy!