Am I in the wrong?

[1u****]

Stay 💙 less

[Ni****]

The dynamics can be whatever you want them to be. You can live by your own rules however you set them. That’s life. He however may do the same. If both of you don’t your change your rules to accommodate the other fairly or not then perhaps you are at an impasse.

[se****]

Why do people need confirmation/approval from strangers? These are conversations you need to have with the other party, communication is a big part of any relationship. Whenever you’re feeling someway about your partner, regardless whether of their title. You need to instantly mention it to them. So what i will say you’re wrong about, is how you’re going about it. Whatever you feel, shouldn’t be said it. It should be said directly to him.

[Je****]

48 minutes ago, searchingformyslave said:

Why do people need confirmation/approval from strangers? These are conversations you need to have with the other party, communication is a big part of any relationship. Whenever you’re feeling someway about your partner, regardless whether of their title. You need to instantly mention it to them. So what i will say you’re wrong about, is how you’re going about it. Whatever you feel, shouldn’t be said it. It should be said directly to him.

She’s allowed to work out her feelings for a situation before discussing them with her partner. No need to judge how someone else goes about processing things

[Je****]

9 hours ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

So…just asking questions.

So what you are saying is you won’t fully submit to him unless he marries you?

She said she wanted to be claimed as his sub. Where did you get marriage from?

[Je****]

9 hours ago, MrSadistDaddy said:

So…just asking questions.

So what you are saying is you won’t fully submit to him unless he marries you?

Sorry I see where you got it from lol. I read that part as a metaphor for being claimed as someone’s sub or just being a play partner but I could be wrong

[Co****]

Im confused by the question. .........Do you mean he wont claim,....or rather ask you to be his Wife, or claim / ask you to be his Sub??

Because either is up to you, and you alone to decide.
Either way it should feel right, exciting.........
Which it doesn't seem to.......in my humble opinion xx
I wish you Love and Luck with this x

[lo****]

8 hours ago, leanneandmartin said:

I'm not down for *** to a dom switch or sub to make it clear, for me submission isn't a choice at all it's ingrained in our biology particularly between men and women. When a true dominant male walks into a room submission is neither asked for or decided, ladies don't put barriers up and blockades until they know the male better ect they simply automatically submit through instinct. If you have to decide to submit to anyone it's because you don't find them dominating to begin with. My advice for happy d/s dynamic is if your a sub do not have contact with and waste a doms time if you haven't submitted before even saying hello because the doms or there didn't decide they were gunna dom you, there are alot of gorgeous subs on this site and the dom already knows they want to dom you before the first point of contact most of the time. The same respect should be shown for a doms time and let's face it the dynamic itself is way more taxing on time, energy, effort, finances, planning, pleasure and aftercare. Doms don't have time to slowly draw out submission, and they also don't slowly, gradually dominate you either. As for this threads specific example it's an easy one , your not making each other happy, your not in love so leave and find someone else. It's a waste of both your time if you don't.

I find women like you scary af, js

[FreddieJobbs]

Talk to him and explain to him that his privileges as a dom is limited and that he doesn’t get the same privileges as a husband dom does. Tell him his privileges have gone too far and it’s starting to even annoy you. I’m pretty sure he can understand if this topic is discussed with him. Tell him he has to claim you because his way of doing things isn’t working for you. Hopefully this works.

[Deleted Member]

Because he hasn’t asked to collar you and hasn’t asked to be your SO he doesn’t want you like that. Why should he give you husband treatment when you won’t submit the way he wants.

You control access to sex, he controls access to marriage. I find it humorous that many lady’s want husband treatment when they don’t plan on being the wife that the man wants.

Not really sure the point of the question really. Are you just trying to gain consensus before you leave him?

[Lu****]

I am looking in on the outside, but just because you are a Sub doesn't mean you should face *** and mistreatment, and also that you have no say? I know people are into all sorts of different things so I guess this can vary and I don't know you, but to me this doesn't sound like a nice situation to be in, it doesn't seem like you are getting much from this anymore, and I don't blame you for not submitting further, if you don't get what you are wanting then why should he get everything? I have put all sorts in my bio as I won't put up with people's bad behaviour and mistreatment, I am crystal clear. I am sorry though you are in this situation and it doesn't sound healthy? I also don't blame you for having your rules either, again just because your a sub doesn't mean you can't have your own rules 💜 sending love and light. If he won't claim you and won't give you what you are also wanting, then I'd advise this isn't the way to be, both people no matter what dynamic and situation should both be happy and both be respected xx

[Po****]

Forget what everybody got to say just do you if it works don't fix it. If it's not for you any longer broaden your options

[Deleted Member]

Nope!! Being a Dom means he takes care of you and you of him. There is a disconnect there. If he is not all in, then how can you be? Without a deep connection, how can the trust that’s needed be there?

[Fr****]

You’re right. Give as much as you get. No more. No less.

[Deleted Member]

Trust your gut , and move on too a better chapter of your life x

[ma****]

He's not a true Dom and you're in a toxic situation. I'm surprised you've stayed as long as you have. Get out now, He's abusive.

[AlexDad]

100% - if he's not taking it seriously, why should you?

[My****]

Communication is key! Understanding his reason for refraining from claiming you as his own should be established before any immediate action. It could be something more deeper mentally. Take your time… and be patient. Be upfront and honest with him about your feelings. If he checks all your boxes, why not give him more time.

[lo****]

On 6/1/2023 at 3:14 PM, Jefe-410 said:

Because he hasn’t asked to collar you and hasn’t asked to be your SO he doesn’t want you like that. Why should he give you husband treatment when you won’t submit the way he wants.

You control access to sex, he controls access to marriage. I find it humorous that many lady’s want husband treatment when they don’t plan on being the wife that the man wants.

Not really sure the point of the question really. Are you just trying to gain consensus before you leave him?

He wants her full submission, but "doesn't want her like that?"

"Why should he give her (claimed) treatment if she won't submit fully?"

This is what you want to say in public where other subs can read and see your stance? Ok. Cool... I will respond as a sub who has had some experience with good and bad Doms.

WHY should a sub give their everything to someone who has not even commit to me? They definitely DON'T deserve it, nor have they earned it.

Because he demanded it?

That's ***.

If someone were to demand you trust them, would you? If someone were to demand you trust them enough to do as they please to you, but have made no commitments to keep you safe and cared for, would you?

You would be lying if you said yes, but you are implying she should.

[Deleted Member]

47 minutes ago, locketheart said:

He wants her full submission, but "doesn't want her like that?"

"Why should he give her (claimed) treatment if she won't submit fully?"

This is what you want to say in public where other subs can read and see your stance? Ok. Cool... I will respond as a sub who has had some experience with good and bad Doms.

WHY should a sub give their everything to someone who has not even commit to me? They definitely DON'T deserve it, nor have they earned it.

Because he demanded it?

That's ***.

If someone were to demand you trust them, would you? If someone were to demand you trust them enough to do as they please to you, but have made no commitments to keep you safe and cared for, would you?

You would be lying if you said yes, but you are implying she should.

It’s not *** because one person is in a different spot. There are two sides and there is more to this than meets the eye. It’s was good, and it got to a point where BOTH of them weren’t satisfied. That’s not ***. That’s poor communication.

It looks like my comment triggered you. Perhaps you should think on that before throwing around the word ***.

[lo****]

It’s not *** because one person is in a different spot. There are two sides and there is more to this than meets the eye. It’s was good, and it got to a point where BOTH of them weren’t satisfied. That’s not ***. That’s poor communication.
It looks like my comment triggered you. Perhaps you should think on that before throwing around the word ***.

Maybe your reading comprehension needs some work. That or you are fuzzy on what can be abusive behaviors.

[Vi****]

Can you explain the difference between husband and boyfriend benefits? But after 6 months that should’ve been a convo in my opinion. 🤷‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

He’s just selfish

[co****]

Sounds like poor communication, expectations, and rules/boundaries negotiated from the start. Learn from it or fix/correct it. You're both at fault.

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, locketheart said:

It’s not *** because one person is in a different spot. There are two sides and there is more to this than meets the eye. It’s was good, and it got to a point where BOTH of them weren’t satisfied. That’s not ***. That’s poor communication.
It looks like my comment triggered you. Perhaps you should think on that before throwing around the word ***.

Maybe your reading comprehension needs some work. That or you are fuzzy on what can be abusive behaviors.

You’re joking right? This was obviously poor communication on both sides. But because it’s the sub telling the story everyone wants to jump on the *** bandwagon. When the OP is sitting here getting all the attention she can soak up from an online community comment. Get real.