Question

[Deleted Member]

I believe so . In fact isn't it the sub who really holds the cards

[Ac****]

Any good d/s dynamic is fundamentally built on trust. If showing your emotions cripples the dynamic, they were never there to be trusting with you.

Your emotions are not reason to topple a whole situation, and a good sub will know that doms do need comforting sometimes.

We are human, and we need to remember to treat one another as such.

[CopperKnob]

16 minutes ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

Could have given a "Spoiler Alert"... how rude

I just had to remove it from my to watch list! 🤷‍♀️

[Ju****]

17 minutes ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

Could have given a "Spoiler Alert"... how rude

Crap. My bad. For penance I'm sure my sub will brat me... 🤣

[Ju****]

34 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Old Yeller died? What? No need to watch this now!

No. I mistyped. I meant not feed Mogwai after midnight.

[Da****]

12 minutes ago, JustAPleasureDom said:

Crap. My bad. For penance I'm sure my sub will brat me... 🤣

Most definitely

[ey****]

4 hours ago, master-halos said:

If the dominant shows an emotional vulnerability to their submissive, can they assert dominance in the future?

there's more strength in showing emotion or vulnerability than there is pretending you're strong

if the submissive doesn't like this, they're not the right submissive

[wa****]

I think in this situation, it very much depends on the Sub, there is no one size fits all for a D/S relationship, there is no right or wrong way to be a Dom if this isn't acceptable to the sub and she/he dislike their Dom to show emotional vulnerability at times then maybe they aren't the right dom for you?

[CopperKnob]

46 minutes ago, JustAPleasureDom said:

No. I mistyped. I meant not feed Mogwai after midnight.

Christ double bratting for you then! 😂

[Th****]

Manny, dude, just no. Your comments are displaying your *lack* of maturity, emotional and otherwise. 

 

Being able to show vulnerability and emotions is AUTHENTICITY. Trust is built around it, you cannot expect to recieve anything you are unable to or refuse to give yourself. Lack of showing emotion or vulnerability is a 🚩red flag 🚩 it reads as sociopathic, insecure, lack of emotional intelligence and maturity. It's important even in pick up play or a fwb play relationship, which BTW are still a form of relationship even if it's only for one scene. 

 

Authenticity, emotional intelligence, the ability for emotional regulation are all signs of strength. The "real" kind... strength of character. 

 

**BTW, OP since you specifically asked, I'm a D type woman. 

Edited June 21, 2023 by ThaliaVirago
To add

[Ta****]

4 hours ago, neko-chan said:

I think it's a sign of emotional maturity to be able to share your emotions calmly. Maturity is definitely attractive in a Dom. To me it's more weak to hide behind some stoic façade.

This comment is gold. The conditioning men receive their whole lives to “man up” and hide their emotions is the root cause of why men snap and become violent towards themselves and others. Expressing what you feel is not a sign of weakness, it is basic, genderless, human nature.

[en****]

Shouldn’t you know if you call yourself dom?

[Da****]

39 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Christ double bratting for you then! 😂

Oh no, this is at least 4X as this was on purpose....lol

[Da****]

Manny blocked me...guess he didn't like what I had to say... I'm so hurt...tears are running down my face...booohooo..😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Th****]

1 hour ago, wakefield523 said:

I think in this situation, it very much depends on the Sub, there is no one size fits all for a D/S relationship, there is no right or wrong way to be a Dom if this isn't acceptable to the sub and she/he dislike their Dom to show emotional vulnerability at times then maybe they aren't the right dom for you?

While I certainly agree that there is no one size fits all for D/s, I strongly disagree with your next statement. There most definitely are many wrong ways to be a Dom(me).

I'm pretty sick of hearing what makes a "real" Dom(me) 🙄 most of those statements and arguments are seemingly based around insecurity, ignorance or some form of toxic ideology or another. But spreading the idea that there's no "wrong" way to be a Dominant is potentially dangerous. 

[Floki-1840]

Yes Yes a thousand times yes. A dom would have to be some kind of monster if they could suppress, or worse not have, some kind of vulnerability. Where it is meaningful and real BDSM is a two way trust game and by definition this will draw out vulnerability in any caring human no matter what their role. I've been in BDSM for 35 years as a dom leaning switch, and always at the point  where a session shifts to aftercare I get a wave of concern/worry about teh welfare of my sub and a real *** that they feel uncomfortable-or worse

[GoldStandard42]

5 hours ago, Manny678 said:

its Sounds like a Weak dude no offense though

the Dom must be male?  I know everything I need to about you and your opinions. 

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, master-halos said:

If the dominant shows an emotional vulnerability to their submissive, can they assert dominance in the future?

Absolutely. I'm more likely to trust someone enough to submit if they show their own vulnerability too.

[CopperKnob]

55 minutes ago, Daddy-n-Paddy said:

Manny blocked me...guess he didn't like what I had to say... I'm so hurt...tears are running down my face...booohooo..😭😭😭😭😭😭

Are you showing weakness through your emotions!?

[lo****]

5 hours ago, LunaVae said:

This is a weak take

He's giving such "Bro" answers I hear the Charlie brown teacher's voice in my head.

[Deleted Member]

Showing Vulnerability is a sign of incredible trust and strength.
Real Doms experience deep feelings, attachments, go through series of highs and lows.
If the question is… if a dom shows uncontrolled emotional vulnerability to ….? Than I think the answers becomes.. well it’s a red flag and the Dom show seek the guidance of a therapist to assist in the control and understanding about their particular behaviors and emotions.

To suggest that a Dom must be cold and uncaring l, untrusting etc is a bit of mistake, and another red flag.

If a submissive discounts the dominants vulnerability and sees this as an inherent weakness, this to me is a red flag from the submissive.

Hope this insight helps.

[TimtheMerciless]

6 hours ago, Manny678 said:

its Sounds like a Weak dude no offense though

It's weak if it's over - done. I Most of the posters here are saying (in their various ways ! ) it is important to be ***. I would say that can be taken too far.  Strength and stability is attractive

But real actual men are not made out of hard blocks of cold stone.  Everybody has emotions.  Balance in all things.

[wa****]

1 hour ago, ThaliaVirago said:

While I certainly agree that there is no one size fits all for D/s, I strongly disagree with your next statement. There most definitely are many wrong ways to be a Dom(me).

I'm pretty sick of hearing what makes a "real" Dom(me) 🙄 most of those statements and arguments are seemingly based around insecurity, ignorance or some form of toxic ideology or another. But spreading the idea that there's no "wrong" way to be a Dominant is potentially dangerous. 

No your totally right, my wording in this was in hindsight pretty bad.

My intention was to imply there was no right or wrong way in terms of nuances within the dynamic such as not showing or showing vulnerability, not that there was no right or wrong way to actually be a dom(me), I was thinking from a place of the dom(me) was already working within an ethical framework.

[Da****]

19 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Are you showing weakness through your emotions!?

I'm trying...is it working....

[QXX666]

6 hours ago, master-halos said:

If the dominant shows an emotional vulnerability to their submissive, can they assert dominance in the future?

No as it’s weakness. A submissive want someone who’s strong and can rely on. 
like things she want during a session is a Dom that start crying…. 
ps: I don’t mean to be rude but your profile pic and your username are like miles away apart