Rena-5651 Posted July 31, 2023 Posted July 31, 2023 26 minutes ago, Kyudd said: This is a BDSM dating app, so a bold BDSM opener is not out of line and consent to flirt can be assumed. Only be mindful of the other person, read their bio beforehand, respect their limits and respond accordingly to their reaction. Always open with only one line that requests a follow up from them. Do not double down on someone who's clearly uncomfortable. Do not insist on someone who's not interacting back. And be ready to leave the conversation or to smoothly transition into an out-of-BDSM tone, if it becomes the right thing to do. Most submissive people are not submissive 24/7 or are not always in the mood. And all people deserve a basic form of respect regardless. I agree with your comment 10000% I have issues like that in my own DMS and hate it 😅
Rena-5651 Posted July 31, 2023 Posted July 31, 2023 8 minutes ago, gemini_man said: Agree with everything except your first sentence. . While for some this may be a "BDSM dating app" for others it's not - so you need to be careful about picking your audience and not assume "consent to flirt" or even be surprised if a "BDSM opener" doesn't meet with anything apart from no reply. . At the point of initial contact you're not dominant or submissive to the person you are contacting, so why assume a position that you are? They're just another person on an app at that point, so treat them as you would any other person you just met. . I'd also suggest that more than one line as an opener is usually required, but that's a subjective thing so if it works for you then great, but may not work for/with all. Exactly the point tbh^ can't assume 😅like my profile legitimately saids I'm looking for platonic friends but I have people who come in my dms assuming that is is a "sexsite " so why wouldn't I do this or that for them. Point given no one should assume it makes a ass out of them, especially with just first getting to know that person^
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 31, 2023 Posted July 31, 2023 From a Dom's perspective, I never initiate contact. Ever. Not because I think it unbecoming of a Dom, I just know how men work (Kink and vanilla). Women are usually inundated with messages, I don't wish to contribute to that madness. As for the manner: I don't like to be Dominant right out of the gate. I want to know the submissive on a vanilla level. I need to know the person behind the kinks before I'm able to place them under consideration. Respect and manners are basic requirements. If a Dominant starts off with "Call me Sir!", etc, before you even know his name, it's a major red flag.
XeBernie Posted August 1, 2023 Posted August 1, 2023 On 7/25/2023 at 3:54 PM, Cheekysub247 said: I prefer speak to me as you would if I met in a bar, polite chit chat, of course mention something seen in my profile(shows me they read it), dont talk wank fodder, questions are welcomed . Remember theres no relationship until theres a relationship so I wont call anyone Sir and no need to give me a pet name.... apart from cheeky, they can call me that 🤣. Sending a 'hi' wont get any response, too many of those to bother replying to. Just be their natural self, the rest will follow 😊 I think this is the best concise advice I've seen. And it goes both ways. As a Dom, I'm trying to talk to you as a person first, feeling out compatability. If you come on strong as a sub with lots of sirs and masters and asking me right off the bat what im going to do to you when you talk to me, you're already ruining any chance to experience it. You are not my sub by status and this is no way to earn it. Personally I think this is rooted in a lot of people wanting to fantasize about the lifestyle but wanting to get off quickly rather than live the lifestyle. I have no interest in that whatsoever.
ED**** Posted August 9, 2023 Posted August 9, 2023 Wise comments and considerations that are quite rightly paramount in the beginning of any relationship and discovery of any compatibility, is it not basic and common sense to those serious about the lifestyle, interesting to keep such a debate ongoing for us all to keep kearning more as we never stop really, only my opinion !
Ja**** Posted August 14 Posted August 14 That's top-notch advice analyzing it with mathematics and common Sense
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