Is it realistic to be 100% dominant?

[De****]

2 minutes ago, DeviantMentals said:

It’s funny, the answer to your soft limits literally explains what I said.

Actually it’s more about trust and connection to me. It I trust and connect with you I’ll let you do ALMOST anything.

[De****]

8 minutes ago, DenverKitten said:

I’m gonna toss a wrench in here. I’m going to be extremely submissive to a dom who is calm, confident, stoic. Just based on that alone. Someone classically attractive is probably more confident. So I would suggest that maybe it’s less about the looks and more about the swagger that is more likely to accompany them.

I believe it’s a bit of both.

[De****]

1 minute ago, DeviantMentals said:

I believe it’s a bit of both.

I have only submitted to 1 1/2 people so I’m no expert, but I don’t agree.

[Mi****]

5 minutes ago, DeviantMentals said:

It’s funny, the answer to your soft limits literally explains what I said.

Sounds like you are shaming a submissive for their limits. That’s a huge red flag as a Dom in my book.

[Mi****]

8 minutes ago, giraut said:

So, I know you don't mean to, but this is insulting.  I am 56, fat, short, and certainly not conventionally attractive.  Reality is, I do really well.  I don't do well because I pander to submissives.  I do well because I work to create safety with them to explore masochism, ***, being a little, etc.  Maybe if I was conventionally attractive and tall I'd have the same attitude, I don't know.  I don't have those genetics.  But, I'm confident, understanding, comfortable in who I am, and don't have to prove anything to others.  

Can confirm all of this

[De****]

10 minutes ago, giraut said:

So, I know you don't mean to, but this is insulting.  I am 56, fat, short, and certainly not conventionally attractive.  Reality is, I do really well.  I don't do well because I pander to submissives.  I do well because I work to create safety with them to explore masochism, ***, being a little, etc.  Maybe if I was conventionally attractive and tall I'd have the same attitude, I don't know.  I don't have those genetics.  But, I'm confident, understanding, comfortable in who I am, and don't have to prove anything to others.  

So first, I did not even look at your profile, not to say it can’t still seem insulting, and I honestly don’t mean to be. I am just trying to be objective. This is also why I said there are a lot of bad ass older doms out there, I wasn’t only referring to their looks… I understand there is value in many areas of a person. Sorry I made you feel insulted though.

[De****]

8 minutes ago, DenverKitten said:

Actually it’s more about trust and connection to me. It I trust and connect with you I’ll let you do ALMOST anything.

I figured you’d say that. Now let’s say this Dom is very attractive, while also hitting on the personality/intellectual side. Do you see. Value goes up with each notch… may not be popular to say, but looks do matter.

[De****]

9 minutes ago, DenverKitten said:

I have only submitted to 1 1/2 people so I’m no expert, but I don’t agree.

I’ll give you this. If you have a conventionally physically attractive dude , but he’s a block head… then yes, I understand that. Never the less, you are free to your opinion, no hard feelings over here.

[De****]

10 minutes ago, MinnesotaMinx said:

Sounds like you are shaming a submissive for their limits. That’s a huge red flag as a Dom in my book.

How am I shaming her? Haha. I simply stated that her soft limit explanation was basically aligning with what I said. Not every Dom us of equal value. Anyways, I’m sorry you feel that way.

[De****]

13 minutes ago, MinnesotaMinx said:

Can confirm all of this

Yea, I don’t need your confirmation, I know nothing about this guy, but there are exceptions to every rule… your confirmation means very little.

[Mi****]

51 minutes ago, DeviantMentals said:

How am I shaming her? Haha. I simply stated that her soft limit explanation was basically aligning with what I said. Not every Dom us of equal value. Anyways, I’m sorry you feel that way.

You said that DenverKitten’s answer to her soft limits (not the explanation of them) literally explains your point. Help me understand how soft limits of *** and *** explain what you are saying because I’m not making the connection.

[Mi****]

3 hours ago, FreeTheAsses said:

Honestly I don’t think so it’s more about that you wish to do as a person I’m a Dom and have subs mutiple even yet I choose how I wish to dominate them if they don’t like it they can go elsewhere I don’t exist to please the world sadly yet if they do tell me their kinks I’m willing to adapt and listen to them personally I don’t like harm at all but some wish for it regardless since that’s how they wish to be dominated I think it’s a balance like everything else in life. Just depends on what you want and how far ur willing to go for it.

IF they tell you their kinks? Aren’t you asking them what their kinks are? Don’t you want to know what they desire and need? How do you determine if a submissive is a good fit fit your abs you for them?
I also want to make sure that you and other Doms on this thread realize that you are allowed to have limits as a Dom. If you don’t like harm (I’m assuming you mean you don’t enjoy causing ***?) then you don’t have to. D/s has to be grounded in consent and trust from all parties.
The bottom line in all of this is that Dominants and Submissives can approach their roles in a variety of ways. Not every Dominant desires to degrade, humiliate, or inflict ***. Some Doms get great satisfaction from encouraging their submissive, building them up, and giving them pleasure and doing so in a Dominant posture. Not all submissives enjoy being degraded, humiliated, or treated like objects/toys. Some submissives like to be a little princess. All of those expressions are valid and none are more “real” or valid than others. In fact, it can take a lot more skill and confidence to inspire submission without the use physical *** or *** and ***. It takes understanding the mind and motivation of your submissive. None of that has anything to do with attractiveness or whether or not you are 100% Dominant or submissive.

[Fr****]

No I don’t ask them they wish to tell me by themselves, over time never been a need to ask they converse with me and wish to tell me by themselves. You’re and as a result I will know if they are a fit for me. You’re right there is limits but I’m not saying u have to do it all regardless. I’m aware of what the differences are and experience them regularly. And I reiterate I didn’t say you have to be 100 percent . One or the other regardless merely stated it comes down to each individual and their desires. If u wish to inflict *** do as such some of my subs wish for me to use it as a tool for obedience others do not in comes down to personal preference between both parties and and their consent simple. Personally I prefer making people sub with pleasure but that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to experiment or try other things regardless if it enhances my subs experience because there’s nothing like having ur subs brains fucked out on the floor laying there not being able to say anything but appreciating u for ur work that day.

[De****]

5 hours ago, MinnesotaMinx said:

IF they tell you their kinks? Aren’t you asking them what their kinks are? Don’t you want to know what they desire and need? How do you determine if a submissive is a good fit fit your abs you for them?
I also want to make sure that you and other Doms on this thread realize that you are allowed to have limits as a Dom. If you don’t like harm (I’m assuming you mean you don’t enjoy causing ***?) then you don’t have to. D/s has to be grounded in consent and trust from all parties.
The bottom line in all of this is that Dominants and Submissives can approach their roles in a variety of ways. Not every Dominant desires to degrade, humiliate, or inflict ***. Some Doms get great satisfaction from encouraging their submissive, building them up, and giving them pleasure and doing so in a Dominant posture. Not all submissives enjoy being degraded, humiliated, or treated like objects/toys. Some submissives like to be a little princess. All of those expressions are valid and none are more “real” or valid than others. In fact, it can take a lot more skill and confidence to inspire submission without the use physical *** or *** and ***. It takes understanding the mind and motivation of your submissive. None of that has anything to do with attractiveness or whether or not you are 100% Dominant or submissive.

It’s really funny, you said a lot of what we already agree with. It’s the doms you’re literally talking about and the subs like yourself, who belittle the other types of doms…. So nice job…. I’m glad you could break down all the roles for us and say nothing at the same time.

[De****]

5 hours ago, MinnesotaMinx said:

IF they tell you their kinks? Aren’t you asking them what their kinks are? Don’t you want to know what they desire and need? How do you determine if a submissive is a good fit fit your abs you for them?
I also want to make sure that you and other Doms on this thread realize that you are allowed to have limits as a Dom. If you don’t like harm (I’m assuming you mean you don’t enjoy causing ***?) then you don’t have to. D/s has to be grounded in consent and trust from all parties.
The bottom line in all of this is that Dominants and Submissives can approach their roles in a variety of ways. Not every Dominant desires to degrade, humiliate, or inflict ***. Some Doms get great satisfaction from encouraging their submissive, building them up, and giving them pleasure and doing so in a Dominant posture. Not all submissives enjoy being degraded, humiliated, or treated like objects/toys. Some submissives like to be a little princess. All of those expressions are valid and none are more “real” or valid than others. In fact, it can take a lot more skill and confidence to inspire submission without the use physical *** or *** and ***. It takes understanding the mind and motivation of your submissive. None of that has anything to do with attractiveness or whether or not you are 100% Dominant or submissive.

Looks matter, deal with it.

[De****]

2 minutes ago, DeviantMentals said:

It’s really funny, you said a lot of what we already agree with. It’s the doms you’re literally talking about and the subs like yourself, who belittle the other types of doms…. So nice job…. I’m glad you could break down all the roles for us and say nothing at the same time.

Minx and giraut are good people. Maybe we are all just coming at this from odd angles. Maybe we can just have a little peace?

[De****]

7 minutes ago, DenverKitten said:

Minx and giraut are good people. Maybe we are all just coming at this from odd angles. Maybe we can just have a little peace?

I have been dealing with this for years… I want to make this clear, I have no issues with anyone’s approaches their dynamics as long as all consenting. This is defensive response. Never the less I’m happy going forward in peace.

[Do****]

I think what you mean is a Dominant has empathy, and awareness of what is wanted/needed/being experienced on both sides of the dynamic. If you’re going to control the dynamic then you absolutely need understanding and awareness of what’s going on, on both sides. It doesn’t make you submissive. Just means you’re doing the role properly. I would question any dominant who isn’t taking it all in like that. They’re not safe. You’re responsible for making sure the sub is getting what they want/need from the dynamic.

[Deleted Member]

Thursday at 01:14 PM, DeviantMentals said:

Thank you…. Finally another one who gets it. Lotta submissive doms out here. I personally refer to them as low lvl doms… mainly because they as well as they’re version of subs do nothing but trash REAL doms. They’re almost the white knights of the Kink world. This type of dom feels the need to shower his subs with fluff because he has very little to offer outside of that. I recently spoke with another Sadist/Dom and he also said that I must be willing to submit to the same things I expect my subs to submit to. You must be crazy.

🤣