Vandalslut Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 3 hours ago, MaxwellsDemon said: I hate to do the "my way is the true way" thing, but if a somebody isn't willing to be transparent and build trust with you then they probably aren't a good dom at all... Or worse - the 'my way is the ONLY way' sorts 14 minutes ago, Red-Hunter said: If you do decide to meet , it has to be strictly social in a public place and tell a good friend who, when and where ! Definitely. I think if it were me, I'd be running a mile away, if not several miles.
Jaybaybay Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 It could be a part of their fantasy or just how they are and nobody should judge them for that. I have been a sub for 20 something years and I have served mistresses of all kinds. Some I chose not to serve. Some were amazing and others weren't. This niche is the ultimate form of personal expression. And who we are here is a side of us that most will never have the courage to find much less share. There are bound to be individuals and anywhere there are individuals there's going to be compatibility issues. You have to be assertive about who you are and what you want especially as a sub especially in the beginning. There is no wrong way to do this despite what people say. This is a beautiful, diverse community full of all kind of people want all kinds of things. You are the same as they are, and you have every right to say yes or no or fuck you or fuck me and if it doesnt swim let it drown! There will be someone else. Doms are DOMS. Bossing us around is kind of their get down but that doesn't mean you aren't an equal in deciding your limits or whether or not you have a relationship with them at all. They don't just call shots right away. I swear to God I am going to write a Submissive bill of rights. I know when you first get in to the submissive side of this lifestyle its hard to know where the boundries are and how to act, but I promise you sweetheart if you aren't at least about yourself and what you want enough to express it in the beginning it is going to be a rough ride. Because you are going to see that its only the worst part of our community that treats a good sub like a doormat (metaphorically speaking of course since literally getting treated like a doormat can be pretty fucking cool yeah?😉) If you don't like the way you are being treated then say so. It doesnt have to be a big deal. Be respectful, and tell them how you feel. You might be surprised how many of them back right of and really listen and figure it out with you. Sometimes they get carried away and need to be reminded of where the limits are since most subs prefer to be pushed right to them and sometimes beyond. It isnt always easy to figure us out and just like any other relationship you have to have communication. Remember its all about trust. If you dont trust them then its a no go. Hang in there huh? I had to drop you a comment because I went through the exact same problems when first got into the submissive role . It gets better. If i.can ever help you out or you need to talk feel free to hit me up!
Vandalslut Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 Hi, Jaybaybay: Thanks for taking the time for sharing your experiences with Enchanted Dream, very kind of you. I don't know if the Dom who evidently feels that approaching a sub with this kind of 'tude is having a fantasy or not, but if he is, he'd do better sharing the fantasy so all concerned can play their roles. Or he could find a more appropriate way to make his fantasy a reality. Or he could learn what it really means to be a Dom and do himself and others plenty of good.
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