Deleted Member Posted June 25 Posted June 25 I am curious, if you were to go back to when you first got into the community, what would you do? Or what would you wish you’d known?
ge**** Posted June 25 Posted June 25 I wouldn't change a thing to be honest, my progression along the path has been natural and organic and has served me well
P_**** Posted June 25 Posted June 25 P (man): I definitely wouldn’t put so much pressure on myself to be somebody I wasn’t while working myself out. Then I’d spend the *** I wasted on cheap toys on bitcoin and then go back to the future.
Deleted Member Posted June 25 Author Posted June 25 Well that’s me now and honestly I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve met some real characters and truly special people and have felt a sense of external acceptance that I long ago gave up worrying about but is still lovely to have! In the last six months I’ve loved, lost and learned so much and felt completely supported along the way. There are one or two wonderful people I met here without whom I may not have stayed when things got tricky and I’m honestly in a pretty permanent state of gratitude!
Dom_Kev Posted June 25 Posted June 25 Definitely spent more time here, got to know people better… listened, read, participated more. This is exactly something I asked Myself recently… so, here I am, not trying to g to make up for lost time, but using the time better now… so expect to see Me pestering … in a good way… and posting… even little things. Life changes, and in the process so do we, when change calls, make the best of it and don’t look back.
Dom_Kev Posted June 25 Posted June 25 Oh and would I wish I would have known? Last weeks lottery numbers 😂 No, I wish I would have known where life would have ended taken Me, so I could have spent more time steering it in the direction I really wanted, rather than the direction I drifted. Don’t drift, steer, go for what you want, and those that are meant to be with you will stay with you, otherwise you might end up drifting apart but floating parallel to the people that you really want to be with. … however, if anyone has next weeks lottery numbers… let Me know…
typhoon2 Posted June 25 Posted June 25 I would not have accepted people and ideas at face value so readily; a little cynicism goes a long way. Many of my experiences have been wonderful but greater caution would have been beneficial.
Dom_Kev Posted June 25 Posted June 25 There's definitely a fine line, there is taking a chance on people, and then there is just “meh, why not”… and hindsight is always perfect, but try not to beat yourself up about choices made. Things happen for a reason usually, hopefully all the experiences have helped you build and grow, and made you who you are today.
ad**** Posted June 25 Posted June 25 I am at the start of my Journey 👍 Only been on the app a couple weeks now. I haven’t met anyone yet and I’m still learning what I like wish me luck☺️
P_**** Posted June 25 Posted June 25 5 minutes ago, adak420034 said: I am at the start of my Journey 👍 Only been on the app a couple weeks now. I haven’t met anyone yet and I’m still learning what I like wish me luck☺️ Good luck!!!
Dom_Kev Posted June 25 Posted June 25 Good luck @adak420034, hope that you enjoy your time, and that you find all the help that you need. Enjoy your journey
ey**** Posted June 25 Posted June 25 I think that ultimately - everything that ever happened in that time, good or bad, took me to where I am today. And am I happy where I am now? Pretty much. And I think that is important; if you are happy - then everything was part of the journey. If you're not happy; you don't have to go back to change things - you can shape things now.
StaindGlassHeart Posted June 25 Posted June 25 Wow. Didn’t even make it an hour before they deleted their account. That’s gotta be a record.
Vi**** Posted June 25 Posted June 25 If I were to go back to the beginning (not on this app, before this app was a thing) I would have probably explored more of the ENM side in my marriage. There may have been a possibility we would have stayed together and would not have caused a trust issue with him had he been honest.
DeviantInside Posted June 25 Posted June 25 Honestly… when I first got into kink for real (as opposed to just online or reading about things), I wouldn’t change anything. I consider myself incredibly lucky. When I first got to explore the kink world for real I had already read and tried to understand a lot and met someone who then introduced me to the London scene. With and through them and who they knew I got to learn so very much more. They pretty much knew everyone and introduced me to about the best mentors I could ever hope for. Nothing official but just talking to people. It helped that I didn’t have anything to prove or any particular insecurities at that time (a very happy time of my life) so I was just happy to take and engage without any agenda or bravado. I learnt a lot. And I was also happy to listen and learn. I have only ever been dominant, honestly would my know how not to be, but never considered learning from others to diminish that.
Dom_Kev Posted June 26 Posted June 26 14 hours ago, DeviantInside said: Honestly… when I first got into kink for real (as opposed to just online or reading about things), I wouldn’t change anything. I consider myself incredibly lucky. When I first got to explore the kink world for real I had already read and tried to understand a lot and met someone who then introduced me to the London scene. With and through them and who they knew I got to learn so very much more. They pretty much knew everyone and introduced me to about the best mentors I could ever hope for. Nothing official but just talking to people. It helped that I didn’t have anything to prove or any particular insecurities at that time (a very happy time of my life) so I was just happy to take and engage without any agenda or bravado. I learnt a lot. And I was also happy to listen and learn. I have only ever been dominant, honestly would my know how not to be, but never considered learning from others to diminish that. There is a lot to be said for talking and (most importantly) listening… something I didn’t have in the early days… maybe something I don’t get enough of now… but I think having a ***r or mentor is a good thing (if their ideas align with yours to some degree).
DeviantInside Posted June 26 Posted June 26 8 hours ago, Dom_Kev said: There is a lot to be said for talking and (most importantly) listening… something I didn’t have in the early days… maybe something I don’t get enough of now… but I think having a ***r or mentor is a good thing (if their ideas align with yours to some degree). Agree to some extent. But I find it more useful to find people that challenge my way of thinking, otherwise it’s an echo chamber or feedback loop. I may not agree with them but it may point out some things that I could do better.
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