The thought of being d/d/used consumes me everyday. To be broken down psychologically, physically, and emotionally until I’m left with nothing but my own feeling of vulnerability is so intriguing and craved. That is where that TPE dynamic comes in and incorporates with my need to be controlled in every aspect of my life.
I need to be able to trust someone whole heartedly to the point that no matter what I’m being put through, I still know I will be okay, and that you have my best interest.
Dependence can be a very strong emotion and not being able to depend on anyone for anything creates this distortion of independence on oneself which then creates the distrust in others and those relationships. Therefore, being able to trust, depend, and respect ONE person is so vital to identifying with self respect.
So back to my crazed thought that consumes me- being ***d until I'm knocking on heavens door, and psychologically being broken down and moulded into having characteristics that will further define me based on someone that I can absolutely depend on is really what I’m looking for. Thank you for reading lolll.