Hello guys (and girls),
All you need to know about me is that I ride horses and got plenty of whips at home. But it does not mean that you will get to use them!
Some questions repeat, some are just amusing, I tried to address the most common ones below.
P.S. Please take it with a pinch of salt, these are mainly jokes.
P.P.S. Every joke has a little bit of a joke.
Q&A (aka gossip column)
1. What are you looking for in here?
*First of all, I like to meet like minded people and get to know the community. Then we shall see...
(Actually, I know exactly what I am looking for but I can only tell it to someone I really trust)*
2. Tell me what you like!
*I will tell you what I like and some more intimate details when I feel comfortable but not as a response to the first, second or even third question :)*
3. What are you doing (right now)? [super popular question for some reason]
*Well, I guess I am reading this for one more time.*
4. You said I can ask you anything.
*Sure, but I did not promise to answer everything*
5. Boring
*Even more than you think!*
6. From your profile picture you look more like a dom.
*Are we supposed to fit a certain idea of how dom/sub should look like?
(Anyway, that picture is no longer there)*
7. Show me your eyes
*Are you sure? Once you see them you cannot unsee them*
8. What's your fantasy?
*Too many*
9. Hey/Hello/Bonjour/Bonsoir
*Hey/Hello/Bonjour/Bonsoir*
10. Can I see your photos/could you send me your photos?
*Thanks for asking but I do not distribute my photos here (partially because of #40*
To those who are disappointed with my profile:
*Oh la laaaaa ... I do not fit your definitions... I don't know what am I doing here... oh la laaaaa*
11. What turns you on?
*Straight to the point!
Someone stronger than me, and it's not just about the muscles!*
12. What do you look like?
*Nothing special, really.*
13. Is it really D?
*Ooopppsss. Probably it's E. Especially considering the local standards. And no, it's not fun at all. Bra shopping is a nightmare (and costs a fortune) and well...*
14. Tell me your real age. I want transparency!
*Sure you do. But unless we are getting married or entering some other legal agreement, you don't need to know my age. Neither my financial record, passport details, and b l o o d type.*
15. What do you mean you don't want to talk about sex? This is a sex app!
*How dare am I not to be perpetually aroused and in a mood to talk about sex at any time point!*
16. How about deep throating? It feels great!
*I am sure it does. Too bad I am not a man to share this sentiment.*
17. This profile is fake!
*Oooo-kay! Maybe it is, maybe my life is, it's matrix, isn't it?*
18. What are you looking for? (yes, I know, #1)
*I am looking for love!*
Bah.... I don't think you find it here...
*(Where should I go? To the supermarket?)*
19. Are you a virgin?
...
*Yes, I know. Still cannot quite figure out whether I should take it as a compliment, insult, reprimand or a mockery. Could be either or all at once. But following my usual pattern I am taking this one as a compliment.*
20. Be my slave!
*I am a slave. To my hormones.*
A CONFESSION: Some of these items are not real even though you may relate to some!
21. Are you really real?
*If we talk some more you might see that no fake can fake what I am faking!*
22. Bah, this picture is low resolution. I am sure you can do better!
*Suits my needs well but I am sure you can find better.*
23. What was the most kinky thing you did?
*This is a good one. I need to think a little about it. Maybe this should be my confession.*
24. You should add more pictures to your profile!
*Ah, bon? What else should I do?*
25. Have you ever been whipped?
*Wow, that sounds like a perfect ice breaker after the first ‘Hello’.*
26. You must have a nice @@@!
*It is totally obvious from my photo!*
27. Did you write #xyz about me?
*I am flattered you are reading my gossip column but it’s not always about you.*
28. Tu me vouvoies stp.
*Oh wow!*
29. I've been seeing your profile for a long time now, is it hard to find someone or is it just greedy? Haha
*This is a very interesting observation! Are these only two reasons for being on this site?*
30. Bonjour, so, you like spanking ?
*Best opening line ever!*
FUN FACT: At the tender age of three, I taught the kids at the kindergarten how to masturbate. The techniques was simple: we rubbed our parts against objects, like our chairs until we climaxed. Imagine the scene of us doing it all together, en masse! Imagine parents' delight.
31. I've read your profile and understood everything about you. I know what you need, let’s @@ and @@@! And then @@@@!!!!!
*Of course. Thank you so much for reading my profile!*
32. My wife is not interested in sex (anymore).
*This is why I am here: for leftovers!*
33. Did you find what you were looking for?
*Oh yes. I did. I even found what I had no idea one could look for!*
34. Do you like dates in the park?
*Do you like making love in the snow?*
35. I thought you were more fun!
*More fun than what? But yes, looks can be deceiving.*
36. Do you have an aversion to married men?
*Of course not, why should I? I hope you do not have an aversion to married women and maybe a couple of lovers. It’s only a matter of organisation, right?*
37. Tell me about your kinks!
…
38. Tell me about your kinks!
…
39. Tell me about your kinks!
…
40. You look hot. Can I masturbate over you if it's ok?
*Charming. I feel privileged!*
FUN FACT: A friend of mine, an attractive guy in a possession of a quirky character has been observing his female colleagues for a little while. Then he presented them with a calendar where he marked their cycles. They went very angry with him. The calendar was highly accurate. Maybe it was not a good idea to make it public.
41. I’ve seen you online but you did not respond to my messages!
*I thought t e e n s were not allowed in here.*
42. Your French should be much better by now!
*Certainly! But no one is perfect. How many languages have you mastered while keeping up with your duties?*
43. I’ve never used a whip before but it should not be too complicated. I would like to try it with you!
*Thanks for the offer! But maybe first let’s check what damage a whip can cause in inexperienced hands!*
44. #Coming soon...#
