Male Chastity Kink: a Beginner's Guide

What is the ultimate act of control and domination? Some say that it is being in chastity. Many male subs enjoy the submission of being locked up in a male chastity cage; their orgasms controlled by their Master or Mistress. Curious? Then check out this practical beginner's guide to male chastity kink from Victoria Blisse.   
 

If we think of the word 'chastity', some of us may associate it with women living in the Middle Ages. Back then, men would apparently force their daughters or wives to wear metal chastity cages to conserve their 'virtue'. There is still some debate within historical circles as to whether such chastity devices really did exist and were used in this way, but many believe that they did.

Nowadays, chastity cages and devices certainly are a real thing but, interesting, almost all of the contraptions on the market are aimed at men. Indeed, male chastity is a big business and it's a common fetish in kinky communities like ours. 

In fact, there are hundreds of male chastity cages and devices you can snap up; from bog-standard metal units with a lock and key, to high-tech smart devices that are controlled via apps.

Exploring male chastity kink

Chastity as a kink for guys covers a broad spectrum. It can range from foreplay – where a man may have his cock locked up in a male chastity cage or device  for a period of time before releasing it for sexual activity – to a total lifestyle, where the keys to a man's sexual freedom (literally) are decided and controlled by his partner for days, weeks, or even months.

As mentioned, almost all of these chastity contraptions out there are male chastity devices. So, while chastity may have started out as a way of containing and controlling female sexuality  today, chastity has taken on a very different meaning.

So, what is it about a chastity kink that is a turn-on for some guys? For many men, male chastity is strongly tied to taking a more submissive role in sex. Furthermore, it is often more deeply about relinquishing control (literally and psychologically) to their partner (whether they are female, male, or non-binary). For many men, there’s also the masochistic thrill of not being able to pleasure themselves and get off.

The aforementioned subversion of traditional gender norms can be equally appealing to women, too, who find the power reversal a thrill. The women – of people of any gender come to that – that hold the keys that unlock male chastity devices are known as 'keyholders', and they will decide when the male chastity device can be unlocked!

Male chastity: where to start?

So, before you get locked into the idea of a male chastity kink, you need to prepare in the following ways:
 

1. Talk to your Dominant/keyholder

You need to agree on how things are going to work. Will you be in a male chastity cage all of the time? Is that really practical? Will you hold a key or will your Master or Mistress be the only one with access? And what about during work or during family commitments – will you still be expected to practice male chastity then?
 

2. Pick your male chastity cage

There are many different styles of male chastity cages, and you need to get the one that’s best for you. You need one that fits comfortably, especially if you’ll be wearing it for longer periods.

You need to think of practicalities like going to the loo. Can you pee wearing your cage? Is the gap in it large enough not to make a mess? Do you want a male chastity cage with a urethral insert to make this easier or to add another kinky dimension to your play?

Hands-free fun: enjoying male chastity kink

3. Risk assess

It doesn’t sound sexy, but it’s essential to have the best – and safest – kind of kinky fun. Think about things that can go wrong and prepare for all possibilities. This is especially important if your keyholder isn’t going to be near you all the time.
 

“Will you be in a male chastity cage all of the time? Is that really practical? Will you hold a key or will your Master or Mistress be the only one with access?”

For example, what could you do in an emergency? Can you have a key in case you need out of your male chastity cage quickly? Or is there some other arrangement that means you can get out of your cage when required or if you’ve decided you’ve had enough? Maybe you can keep a spare key somewhere you can access it in an emergency. Perhaps with a friend who understands your dynamic, in a lock box, or a not so easily accessible place in your home.

Wearing a male chastity cage  

Now you’ve prepared, it’s time to put on your cage! It’s best to try out your male chastity cage for a short period time first, to see how it feels. Use it during a play session to experience some yummy orgasm control and teasing torture and get used to how it feels. You can then make adjustments to the cage if needed. 

Fancy getting locked up into male chastity fun? (Creative Commons CC)

When you’re used to wearing a male chastity cage for short scenes, you can move on to wearing it for longer periods. Make sure you keep your cage (and your cock) clean while you’re in chastity. It’s especially important that you clean the cage after you go for a pee; you don’t want any urine lingering on your device.  

If you experience any pinching, numbness or a change in color of your cock or testicles, you must take off the male chastity cage immediately or risk doing yourself serious damage.

“There are many different styles of male chastity cages, and you need to get the one that’s best for you. You need one that fits comfortably, especially if you’ll be wearing it for longer periods.”

Also, remember your safeword and use it if need be. Also, your keyholder should have a safeword too, so they can bring play to an end if they want. Indeed, having consent from all parties involved is essential. 

MORE LIKE THIS:

• Male Milking Machines: Taking the Labor Out of Domination
• Our Guide to BDSM Chastity
• Edging & Orgasm Denial. A BDSM Fantasy Cum True?

Your male chastity fantasy might be what drives you to give it a go, but be sure to have realistic expectations of what will happen. Playing with chastity cages might not go exactly as you expect but that could be a good thing. Remember to keep communicating with your keyholder and don’t just expect them to follow your fantasy scenario to the last word. They are part of the scene too, and so their wants and desires are important also. 

The best chastity and orgasm control experiences will come when the people involved both get to decide what’s going to happen and communicate about their expectations and wants. 
 

The final FET: male chastity

When your Dom/me has you locked in their cage they're in control of your pleasure. There are lots of ways to play that may lead to ecstasy or not, depending what your keyholder decides! 

Maybe you get to pleasure your Dominant with your mouth or fingers but with no relief for yourself! Otherwise, your Dom/me can tickle and tease you to feel your erection pushing against the cage, unable to grow fully and with no possibility of coming. 

And of course, you could be commanded to tease yourself by watching porn or reading erotica but with no permission to come. There are so many ways to play, all it takes is a little imagination and a bit of wickedness from your keyholder. •
 

Are you hot for male chastity? Share your experiences with others in the comments below. Curious about your kinks? Take our free BDSM test and discover more about your role and kinky personality! 


Main image shutterstock/gregg Cerenzio