Our Guide to Fisting: Doing it Right 

Have you been fascinated by fisting but worried it might be a finger too far? Not sure where or how to start, but want to get handy with it? Then this is the guide for you. For anal April, we asked Victoria Blisse to explain how to go from finger to fist the right way. 

Fisting tips and preparation

Anyone can enjoy fisting regardless of gender or sexuality, whether that's being a fister or a fistee. As always, communication is crucial during sex and especially so with fisting - everyone involved needs to know their limits and have safe words to ensure everything goes well. 

If you're planning to be anally fisted, you might want to think about douching beforehand. Clearing out the anal canal and rectum will cut down the likelihood of any poop escaping. However, it's impossible to eradicate this possibility, so have an old towel beneath you or a waterproof sheet and make sure all involved are ready to deal with this prospect. Using latex or other sterile gloves will not only protect the person wearing them from any faecal matter; they also protect the person being fisted from sharp nails or rough edges, plus they feel softer too. 
 

Lots of lube

Pushing something as wide as a fist inside a vagina means you'll need lube, and even more so if the orifice is an anus, so ensure you have lots of it. There are proven lubricants available online specifically designed for anal fisting or anal sex. However, don't be tempted to lube that contain an anaesthetic - you might think it will stop the penetration from being painful, but all it does is desensitize the area, meaning the person might not notice any serious damage until it's too late.  
 

Plenty of patience

You're not going to be able to leap right in there with the whole hand; patience is most definitely the virtue needed here. Start small and work up and keep up communication as you go along - this won't only be essential for safety but will heighten intimacy and connection too. 
 

Fisting technique

The word fist conjures up a hand ready to punch, and although it might feel like that, the fingers during fisting are extended and cupped together like a duck beak (often called 'the silent duck'). With the aid of lots of lubrication, the fingers are then gradually and gently pressed inside until the person has taken the hand past the knuckles, which is the widest part. It's crucial to keep talking so you know how slow or how fast to go. 
 

'Silent duck' Alexjon at en.wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
 

Vaginal fisting tips

For vaginal fisting, get really turned on and spend lots of time working up to it as that will make it easier, especially as the anticipation might have you wound up and tight to start with. There is a practical reason to be super aroused, too, as the uterus will lift into the pelvic cavity, making more space in the vaginal canal. 

However, if there's any sharp pain, the action needs to stop and then discuss continuing. If so, go slowly to work up to that point again. 

Once the hand is past the knuckles, the rest of the hand will be pulled in naturally. Keep still at first, then gradually move the fist to find out what feels best. Vaginal fisting is an intense experience, and you might not need to move your hand at all to cause pleasure and orgasms. 
 

Anal fisting tips

You've got to work up to anal fisting. If you've never taken anything anally before then, you'll need to do some homework before diving in. Work up from small anal toys to larger ones - you can get dilator sets and butt plug sets that do this. You can then work with sizeable dildos and/or penises until your anal sphincter is used to opening up to take larger things. 

With lots of lube and the hand in the closed duck beak position, fingers can be gently and slowly pushed inside. Remember communication and don't push through any pain. Listen to your body, and if you're the top, ensure you communicate openly with the bottom so that you don't cause any pain. 

You might not get to full fisting your first time, but that's not a failure; it's just part of your fisting journey. You'll get there in the end if you're patient. Remember, aftercare is always essential. Look after the bottom, make sure they feel okay. Clean up and spend some time together. Discuss what went well and what might not have worked. If you didn't quite get to full fisting, reassure the other person it's okay and build up excitement for trying again another time. •

Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.
 

Want more fisting tips or advice? Then check out our forum and chat with other kinksters about the fun of fisting! 


All images (unless otherwise stated): model released from Shutterstock.com