Molly's BDSM Tips | How Do I Talk About Sissification with my Girlfriend?

This week, a Fetish.com member asks our BDSM advice columnist Molly, if dressing up in kinky women's clothing is strange, and how to talk to his partner about exploring his interest in forced feminization and sissification further. 

Hi Molly, I like to dress up in kinky women's clothing and
 have my girlfriend use me. I don't do this all the time, but I enjoy it 
a lot. Does this make me strange? My girlfriend likes it a little, but I want more 
dominance, and I don't feel like she does so I never bring it up.  
Kevin 188
 

Dear Kevin 188,
Let's start with the most important part, enjoying dressing up in kinky woman's clothing and having a woman, in this case, your girlfriend, does NOT make you strange at all. Human sexuality is hugely complex and diverse; some people like to be spanked, some people like to suck on people's toes, some people want to dress up as ponies or puppies and, well the list goes on. But, the key to all of this is consent - in that everyone taking part is an adult and doing so consensually.  
 

Forced feminization

The kink you're describing here is essentially forced feminization - also sometimes known as sissification where a man is dressed up in woman's clothing, often in clothing to exaggerate feminine sexuality such as underwear, corset, stockings etc. Sometimes they are also given a female name or just referred to as 'sissy'. Some people enjoy the humiliation aspect, and so name-calling can be part of it, as well as getting that person to do chores or service the other person in some way including sexually. Forced feminization is a fairly common kink and often goes hand in hand with male submission, so you're not alone in enjoying this type of play. 
 

Communication is key

You say your partner likes sissification a little, as she's happy to do it to some extent, but I think you need to try to talk to her more about it. The next time, when you're both feeling close and relaxed, you could ask your partner about her favourite parts of what you've just done and ask what she might like to do. 

It's possible that your partner has some things she might want to explore, and if you create an environment where she feels comfortable sharing her thoughts without any fear of judgement, then I think it will help as you'll be able to talk more openly about the things you would like to do. I really do feel that the fact your partner is engaging with you on some level when it comes to this kink is an excellent sign. I think it is highly unlikely she would be doing what she's doing if she truly hated it. 
 

Explore forced feminization with her

Once you've started the discussion, hopefully, it will lead to you being able to explore sissification more openly together - and not just from your point of view - but from hers too. I suspect there are aspects of forced feminization that your partner enjoys, others that maybe she does not and others that she might like to try. 

Also, your partner might not have enough knowledge to have thought beyond what you're currently doing, to what kind of things sissification might expend to, or how it can involve her being more dominant. One of the things I would encourage you to do is to help her find more information so that she can better understand forced feminization from a dominant female's point of view. Search in Fetish.com's forum, sex blogs that deal with this kink or erotic fiction as sharing stories is a great way to turn each other on and get ideas of things you might like to try together.

Exploring sissification without her

Of course, there is a chance that maybe your partner is not into sissification at all and that having this conversation with her will, in fact, reveal her discomfort. For the record, I think this is unlikely but still worth considering. If that is the case, then I think you need to discuss with her how she sees things moving forward from this point and how you might still be able to explore this side of your sexuality.

Perhaps your girlfriend might be open to you having another partner that was a female dominant or maybe she might prefer it to be a Pro Domme, who you pay. Alternately, perhaps she might be interested in learning from another female dominant as it might be that lack of experience and knowledge about sissification is what's holding her back

Be open about your kink

The real key to all of this is being open with your partner and encouraging her to do the same. At the moment you're stuck not really knowing what's happening inside her head - and the same goes for her.  This makes for a very uncertain situation for you both where you're essentially trying to guess what the other partner likes and enjoys. You need to break that cycle, and hopefully, you can then start exploring how this works for both of you on a much more positive note.  

Good luck!
Molly x

Join others talking about forced feminization and sissification in the Fetish.com forum.  For tips and advice, contact Molly via her Fetish.com profile or visit her thread in the BDSM Forum. 

 
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