Dear Molly,
I have a pubic hair fetish. There's something so incredibly sexy about it for me. However, all the women I've ever been with had shaved pubes - or at most had a tiny smattering of closely trimmed pubic hair. My issue is that I don't know how to say to a new partner that I'd love for them to have pubic hair, as I don't want to offend or upset. Do you think it's OK to tell someone this and would love it if they had some?
P. Ubes
Dear P. Ubes,
Thanks so much for getting in touch with this question. How people like to wear their pubic hair is a fascinating subject because, like many things, it seems to be something that has become victim to fashion or trends.
Many people think that women shaving pubes is a modern phenomenon as a result of it becoming the favoured look in mainstream porn. But there's a long history of women shaving pubes (and even plucking them), that dates back to ancient Egyptian and Roman times. But throughout history, removing pubic hair has been a common hygiene practice, especially to combat pubic lice.
Also, in some Middle Eastern cultures, pubic hair removal is considered to be the proper way for a person to be. Of course, fashions and thoughts do change over time. For example, in the 1970s, having a full thick bush of pubic hair for both men and women was the fashion of the day. But let's be clear, no evidence says having pubic hair is unhygienic.
Most people have a preference about how they keep their pubes; however, like the hair on our heads, many people play with different styles and amounts throughout their life. In the last 15 years or so, there has been a move towards keeping pubic hair to a minimum, especially for women. This means that for someone like yourself who finds pubic hair on women hot, it can be challenging to find someone.
As you state, it's a tricky subject to approach with someone without sounding like you're potentially telling them how they should have their pubes - or even worse, shaming them for the way they have it. There's nothing wrong with being turned on by your partner(s) having pubic hair, but how you go about telling someone matters. I think it's good that you've tried to be thoughtful and sensitive about doing so, but that doesn't mean it's not possible!
One of the ways you could broach the subject is to suggest watching some vintage porn together. That would allow you to voice your opinion on the sexiness of women's pubic hair. However, I'd avoid saying things like, 'It's sexier than shaved' or 'I don't like the shaved look' because it becomes a negative comment about the person's current styling. When raising a conversation like this, try to ensure that you don't frame it negatively or make someone feel uncomfortable or undesirable. Explaining what you find hot and sexy about it will help a partner to see it from your point of view.
Also, compliment how they look now with something like, "I love how sexy you look shaved, but I also think pubic hair on women can be really sexy." Think about how you'd want someone to approach you if they had a preference for how you kept your pubic hair.
Most important of all, never tell someone how they should be. It's a personal choice of how someone likes to have their pubes. There's no right or wrong way apart from what the person prefers.
You're not alone in finding pubic hair a sexual turn-on. If you look in our forum or on various kink and fetish sites, there are always conversations and discussions and even groups of people who, like you, identify as having a pubic hair fetish. Finding some of those people might help you meet a future partner for whom you'd not need to have this conversation.
One final thought on this subject is that even though it seems that nearly all women are opting to remove their pubic hair, there has been a slight shift in that mindset. As a result, there appears to be an increasing number of women rejecting the shaved look and returning to having some sort of pubic hair again. I suspect that trend will continue and hopefully, you'll find a partner sporting a beautiful bush that you can both enjoy.
Molly x
For tips and advice, contact Molly via her Fetish.com profile or visit her thread in the BDSM Forum.
Cover Image: released from Shutterstock.com
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