Impact Play: How to Handle a Hard Spanking

As a self-identified masochist, Victoria Blisse finds pleasure in the pain impact play brings. A lover of a hard spanking, here she shares a few safety tips to help set the scene for some hands-on physical fun. 


So, what is impact play exactly?

Impact play is the general term for spanking, hitting, and beating with or without impact toys. The meaning of impact play covers everything from a mild over-the-knee spanking to a severe whipping – anything that involves impacting a part of a person's body with something else.

It can include pervertibles such as hair brushes, spatulas and cheese boards, also specially-created impact toys like the bondage paddle, flogger whip, dragon tail, and, of course, spanking and punching with bare hands.

Being hit by all of the above is a favorite pastime of mine. Still, before you even think about indulging in impact play, it's incredibly important to get to grips with the safety requirements. Of course, pain is the aim of impact play, but you don't want to be doing any permanent damage.

Both bottoms and tops need to know the safety precautions such as safewords, as both are equally involved in the scene.

Impact play: safety first

First things first; safety is paramount when it comes to exploring an impact play kink, especially if you're planning on some hard spanking or whipping. Whether you're new to this kink or experienced, the following safety rules apply:
 

• Hit only soft, fleshy areas such as the butt cheeks, thighs, breasts and back (but never, ever the spine). Avoid bony bits as bones break, and if they do, a hospital visit will be required.
   
• Avoid major organs, meaning, don't hit the stomach, the bottom of the back, either side of the spine (the kidneys sit there) or the chest (other than breasts). An injury to these areas can be fatal.
   
• Pre-arrange the limits. Discuss thing such as toys that are a definite no-no, if the bottom has to be mark-free and what the sub will say if they want the play to stop or merely need a break, eg, a safe word. 
   
• Try it out. The only way to find out what you enjoy in impact play is to get started with it. People like different kinds of pain: some like spiky, sharp sensations inflicted by impact toys like whips, paddles, flogger whips and canes. Whereas others like the thumpy impact from traditional bondage paddles, heavy floggers, or spanking from a person's hand — others, like myself, like it all and a mix of the two.

Experimenting can be great fun. If you're using an impact toy such as a flogger whip for the first time, as a Dom/me be sure to check how it feels on yourself first. Hitting your hand is an excellent way to test it out. When you hit your sub, take it easy for the first few strokes – this isn't always necessary, but for first-time play, you need to build up slowly to hard hits.

Whip someone into a frenzy with impact play

Impact play for beginners

If you're relatively new to wanting to explore your impact play kink, then this fetish can be somewhat intimidating. As a bottom, you may relish the idea of being slapped or hit about and enjoying some sting, but also concerned about any physical damage being inflicted to your body.

Similarly, as a wannabe top, you may get off on the idea of a partner lapping up the pain you're inflicting on them, but also apprehensive about not wanting to take things too far and causing your bottom any permanent harm.
 

While my above safety pointers are a great start, those exploring impact play as relative newbies may benefit from subscribing to Fetish.com's Introduction to Impact Play course over at our BDSM Training School.

This introductory course led by BDSM instructor Vicky Caves of Bondatrix covers all the essentials. Vicky gives practical demonstrations on how to use impact play implements (hands, flogggers, crops, etc), plus, essentially, she shows you how to read your parter to ensure a safe and sexy impact play scene. 

All in all, it's a great visual introduction for anyone meaning to give impact play a go. 
 

Before turning up your impact play

So, let's say you've been exploring your impact play for a while and are meaning to turn it up a notch. Everyone is different. I've found out that I have a very high pain threshold and can take a lot of beating.
 

Others might not have the same pain tolerance. It will help if you communicate honestly about your tolerance levels as this is part of the trust between all those involved in your scene. After all, it's called impact play, and play should be enjoyable for everyone taking part.
 

“Impact play is the general term for spanking, hitting and beating with or without impact toys. The meaning of impact play covers everything from a mild over-the-knee spanking to a severe whipping.”

As a submissive, you might think you have to endure something you don't enjoy because you think your Dominant wants you to take a beating; however, that isn't how it works. Your comfort and pleasure are of utmost importance, and you need to express yourself truthfully. You're never going to ruin a scene by needing a break or wanting to avoid a particular toy/action.

Similarly, tops need to be aware of their limits; some implements need a lot of skill and practise to wield before they can be used on a willing victim. So, if you're not confident with a tool or toy, don't use it, no matter how much you're begged.

Also, you might need to make a judgement call for your bottom too. Some people, especially masochists, don't realise when they've had enough when they've been enjoying a scene. You might have to decide that for them.

When you have all your safeguards in place, you can enjoy your impact play scene. This can incorporate other kinks such as role play, sensory deprivation (use of a blindfold, for example) and bondage.

However, only use restraint with a play partner you know well, as it increases the risk of injury when a person can't move and shift their body freely in response to a hit and always listen out for the safe word.

MORE LIKE THIS:

• BDSM Versus Abuse: Recognizing the Difference
• BDSM Knifeplay: Testing Your Edges
• Fear Play: A Guide To Going Beyond Kinky Talk

Exploring advanced impact play

Once you've had some experience with impact play, you may want to delve deeper into it and explore this kink at a higher level, both emotionally and physically.

Our Advanced Impact Play course on the BDSM Training Academy can help you do just that. Again, it features experienced BDSM instructor Vicky Caves giving practical demos on things such as advanced flogging techniques, using the paddle and dragon tail, punishment caning, and creating an intense scene. 

Bend over! Fancy a hard spanking? by Michael Joshua via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0) 
 

Vicky also explains pre-play negotiation and advanced ways of setting a scene's tone using different types of language and attitude, building anticipation, reading a subs' body language during play, and – naturally – all-important after care.

Last but not least: impact play aftercare!

Indeed, as Vicky recommends in her course, aftercare is an essential in BDSM, especially with impact play. Once you’ve enjoyed lots of spanky fun, you need a bit of time to chill out.

Every person is different, but cuddles, blankets, drinks and snacks are all things that could be involved in aftercare. It might only be for a few minutes, or it might take an hour or more. But aftercare certainly shouldn’t be rushed, as it's an adjustment period taking people from subspace and topspace – back to normality. Enjoy! •

Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.
 

Have more questions impact play or spanking? Find out more from experienced kinksters in the forum - it's free to join!
 

Main image shutterstock/Ekaterina Vidiasova