Switch it Up | How Changing Roles Can Spice Up Kinky Play

Just because someone might enjoy being a Top or bottom, or Dom or sub, doesn't mean they can't enjoy reversing the roles during kinky play. Indeed, by switching things up, sex can be much more enjoyable...

For many, sexual preferences tend to be seen in Dominant and submissive behavior, which means that while someone may like to be spanked, that doesn't necessarily mean they enjoy a spanking anytime, anywhere, by anyone.

"Topping" and "bottoming" paint service-oriented sex in black and white; they assume that each corresponding party has only one set of interests that don't extend beyond their role. Humans, however, are more complex than that.

Can a Top love anal stimulation? Can bottoms enjoy inserting things into their partners' various orifices? Absolutely! And you don't need to be or define yourself as a switch to incorporate diverse preferences without compromising the dynamic of a scene.

Getting what you want out of a scene

Our desires can sometimes be the opposite of our sexual personae, so it is essential to take them out of the context of a scene for a conversation with your partner(s) - or yourself. Instead, phrase your list of wants and needs with "I want to receive" or "I want to give." The only roles needed here are whether you're the giver or recipient of the play at hand.

Once you know what specific sensations you and your partner(s) are chasing, you can then decide how you want to switch to give or receive them.
 

Unleash your sexual desires. Switch up your roles during kinky play.

Switch up roles during kinky play

One example of service-oriented submission (a fancy term for doing things to your Top by the bottom) is a Dom/me punishing their submissive if the submissive spanks them, but not if the Dominant commands the submissive to do so.  The premise of service within the context of power exchange exists solely in pleasing your Mistress or Master, even though doing so also satisfies you.  

So, how does a sub go about anything? By asking permission, of course:

"Sir, may I please insert this toy inside your butt?"
"You may, but only after getting it nice and wet first."

How does said sub know their Master enjoys anal play? They had a very open and straightforward conversation about what they wanted to experience before they started playing. There was ample opportunity for the sub to say, "Initiating anal play might take me out of my subspace. Can you command me to use the toy on you instead?"

Working through labels

Spanking is not only for bottoms; receiving blowjobs is not just for Tops. Getting spanked or blown for example, are both acts of receipt. Both require a giver and taker. The versatile aspect of these actions is the motive behind them.

- Is Person A receiving a spanking because they were naughty or because they're demanding one for pleasure?
- Is Person B getting blown off their own accord, as a reward for behaving well, or as a means of humiliation?

Breaking down behavior from pre-conceived roles, you can experience various possible sensations within a power exchange. Your physical position during a sex act (i.e., Top or bottom) doesn't mandate your status as a Dominant or submissive; your intent does. 

Put differently, taking the act, and the role as separate things opens up many more possibilities for an interesting power play.
 

Do you like to switch things up during play? Or do you prefer sticking to your role? Let us know in the comments below.


Cover image : released from Shutterstock.