What Makes a Perfect Dominant?

What are the first qualities you think a dominant should possess? As we're about to explain, there's more than meets the eye to being a perfect dominant...

There are many qualities that could generally be desired in a dominant, but essentially this is a very individualistic question and is better expressed by 'what makes a perfect dominant for his/her submissive(s)?'. That being said, it's generally agreed that the below are good characteristics.

Generic qualities for the perfect dominant

There are many traits that can be listed as qualities of a good dominant. Essentially, a lot of these are synonymous with what the majority of people would wish for in any person.

However, some characteristics are more key than others. It goes without saying that a perfect dominant should be just that: dominant. This is mostly seen as an inherent quality, and refers to the natural ability to lead. Furthermore, dominants should be able to have the strength of character to be able to exert this control in a calm, reassured and controlled manner, without resorting to aggression.

Self-control

This leads into the fact that self-control is a vital quality. A good dominant should be interested in how his/her submissive works, learning what is important to them and how to help them develop, as well as the dominant him/herself.

Image: Madame Queen Sabine Mondestin. Flickr Creative Commons.

Honest and respectful

They should be honest and trustworthy, such that a bond of trust can grow in the relationship. Likewise, they should be respectful of the submissive. Dependability and stalwartness are key qualities in a dominant, in that the submissive needs to see the perfect dominant as a constant unerring presence, even if the submissive themselves waivers.

This also aids in building a relationship of trust. A good dominant should also have accepted his/her natural tendencies to dominance, and not feel embarrassed or in doubt about this, or in any case, not communicate such misgivings to the submissive.

In terms of what makes a perfect dominant, as previously stated, this is not a clear-cut question. Presumably the term 'perfect' refers to the submissive's perspective (rather than the dominant's, or indeed a general audience), as it is within the dynamic of this relationship that the term holds relevance.

On that basis, a perfect dominant will vary widely, dependent on the submissive, and indeed dominant, in question. This is not to say that each and every submissive is aware of what his/her perfect dominant would be like in advance.

Curious

The journey the two (or more) of them take together will most likely affect the both of them, helping them to come closer to realising which qualities they are looking for in a partner of this nature. In that sense, a perfect dominant needs to be aware that each submissive is different.

Indeed, the dominant should be interested in unlocking what is important to a submissive whilst at the same time maintaining the control in the relationship and ensuring that it stays true to a path that represents what the perfect dominant holds important, such that they both can flourish.

To be perfect for his/her submissive(s), he/she should command respect from them. Different submissives will respect different qualities, but if this respect is not there then a power exchange relationship will be difficult to cultivate.

This article was originally posted on 9 May 2014 and was updated on 24 February 2018.

Go to part 2 of ´What makes a perfect dominant?'

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