Meeting Kinksters on Vanilla Dating Sites

Finding kinksters on vanilla dating sites can be a bit tricky. Here are two of the most straightforward websites to use, and they just might show you that vanilla dating can be as kinky as you make them.

Kinky dating sites are set up for the specific purpose of uniting people who love a bit of fetish in their life. That’s really the only thing that separates them from vanilla dating sites. On both, accounts are created and used for a number of reasons. It’s not like Plenty of Fish or OkCupid members are all wearing their chastity rings and waiting for ‘the one’. On these vanilla dating communities, you will find plenty of members who are looking for a quick hookup. You'll also find some who want true love. Everyone else onboard falls somewhere in between—just like the average fetish dating site.

Plenty of Fish - Vanilla dating with subtle kinks

Plenty of Fish lets users detail their bondage interests on their profile and chat about it in the website's numerous forums. Historically, kink been pretty closeted on Plenty of Fish. Now it’s far more common to see people mentioning certain BSDM preferences in their About Me section. It's more common for users of this vanilla dating site to signal their interest in bondage in subtle ways.

Users can later rely on private chat to be more explicit about their feelings. If fetish lovers on vanilla dating sites like Plenty of Fish are cagier, it’s probably because they're more concerned about being open about their sexuality in their everyday lives. Your POF profile lists your hometown, real name, and photos. This makes you easily identifiable to anyone who knows you: friends, family, ex-lovers. This can be awkward if you prefer to keep your affinity for floggers on the low-down.

Can vanilla dating help you find a kinky partner?

OkCupid - kink inclusive vanilla dating

OkCupid is one of the most kink-inclusive vanilla dating sites out there. If you rock up to OkCupid with your leather handcuffs and/or riding crop, you’ll have no problem navigating your way to the other kinky people there. The site is set up and functions especially to bring members together based on a wide range of topics.

This website includes members' views, moral issues, ideas about family, how often you like to have sex and the kind of fetish stuff that hits your sweet spot. It’s often called the Google of online dating. When you start to delve into the personality tests, quizzes and multiple-choice questions, you’ll appreciate why. Every time you log on, the site prompts you to take part in more tests. Eventually, that starts to grate.

The more you can drag yourself through these housekeeping sections before heading off to look at who’s viewed your profile and what messages you have, the more likely you are to be automatically linked up with a good match. Sharing your results and answers is up to you. If you don’t let everyone else know about what turns you on, is there really any point taking the test in the first place? No one’s going to pop up in your message box clutching their pearls in horror.

What OkCupid asks you:

1. The initial question.

2. The way you’d want a potential match to answer.

3. How important it is to you.

So the site's algorithm maximises your chances of meeting a potential kinky partner in a highly mathematical way. Put differently, once you answer questions about your fetishes, OkCupid matches you with people who like the same thing. It's weirdly easy.

The verdict

There’s a lot of fun to be had on kinky and vanilla dating sites alike. If you’re at a point in your life where a new partner needs to be on the same sexual wavelength as you from the start, it makes sense to set up your profile on FetLife or a similar quality kinky site. Whether you go on to create a bond with someone that extends outside of the bedroom is down to something far more mercurial and elusive than where you met. There are a few vanilla dating sites that are still a good way to find fellow kinksters, too.