Perhaps it’s a primal thing for some, like embracing the animalistic side that marks territory and stakes claim over our intended. Or maybe it’s hot because it gets us out of the norm and into an area of forbidden taboos. Whatever the case, a dirty fetish can quickly move from ‘no’ to ‘yes please!’ fast given the right circumstance.
I found this myself when I first began playing with my Dom. Aside from breast milk, which has never felt that taboo to me, the others were not on my list of possibilities. But as I moved further into the relationship, I found these sorts of things hotter. I’d imagine him urinating on me before going out somewhere, so I’d be marked as ‘his’.
A dirty fetish can be verbal or acted out. Image: via Shutterstock.com
Later this moved to the desire to rim him. Something I knew almost nothing about and was so drawn to that I even did research on the safety side of things. I found this to be much safer than I’d expected given cleanliness and the manner in which it’s performed. Just the thought drops me. So I had to figure out why this changed for me.
I wanted to be humiliated by him, and these sorts of fetishes allowed for that. Even if some are only in talk form at this point, this kind of dirty fetish is still hot. They also connect to my respect for him. The more profound the respect and gratitude, the more I want to please him in these ways.
While it’s an honour to be claimed in this consensual manner, there doesn’t need to be a deep connection to make folks desire a dirty fetish. An example of a lighter connection is when I used to use breast milk to mess with a man in my life. I’d make him coffee and put cream in, then tell him it was my breast milk and make him drink it.
Sometimes I’d actually use my breast milk and make him watch me squeeze it into the mug, or I’d threaten to make him suckle my breast. While it was just a little breast milk to me, this was horrible and deliciously humiliating for him. He’d get that look of shock, then the one of surrender as he drank my milk. He was in the military, so his daily life meant being in control. Letting go with this kind of dirty fetish worked for him. It got him out of his daily routine.
There doesn’t always need to be actual dirty fetish play either. Verbal suggestions can be just as great as actions, and in cases where contagions come into play, tricking a sub into believing something is happening is also safer.
Whether verbal or action, a dirty fetish can take us to the next level of letting go. They offer us a higher level of passion, which means a greater return on our investments and a deeper bond with our partner. To me, a dirty fetish is like icing on a cake.
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating.
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