The Best Kinky Places to Play in the US

From the generous BDSM play spaces of the West Coast to the underground (sometimes literally) BDSM scene in the Northeast, the US has plenty of kinky places to play - whether you're new to the kink and BDSM scene - or an experienced kinkster.

Kink & BDSM Portland, OR

Portland has got the places and people for you to play with, whether you're a sex-positive parent, a polyamorous triad, or a non-conforming gender-neutral human. Plus, you're sure to learn a thing or two in this humble, open, and welcoming atmosphere.
 

Kink & BDSM Portland (Play) 

The Office is a boutique-sized play space hosting a wide range of play events (from AB/DL to kinky key parties) at affordable prices. Plus, members can drop in to use the space at any time, any day. With icebreakers like board games and a hang-out vibe, first-timers get a chance to wet their feet before jumping into the pool. To find out about membership email kinkspacepdx[at]gmail.com.

Wednesday nights are unofficially “Kinky Wednesdays” at Club Sesso, a favorite swinger's club featuring the famous fish bowl, a private glass room equipped with curtains, for optional voyeuristic/exhibitionist fun. The club is aplenty with rope riggers on Wednesdays, and the option of playing in a public or private room attracts both the cautious and adventurous player. Their official kink night, Twisted Party happens monthly. You can find a similar atmosphere, part swinger, part kink, at The Velvet Rope, which hosts kink samplers (toys inclusive) and kink parties monthly. Certain parties at both venues are members only.
 

Kink & BDSM Portland (Socialize)

The Portland Leather Alliance runs classes and information sessions and serves as a calendar aggregator for the local area. They keep track of all the weekly munches (there is a handful) occurring locally, designed for kinksters to network and harness a sense of community. 

The PDX Bad Girls are a Portland group for self-identifying females interested or involved in leather. They host social outings, classes, discussion and support groups–sans men.

Portland's branch of Eagle Bar has nightly events for men in the leather scene. The Eagle is the center of many kink community projects and fundraisers. Their activities range from free to inexpensive. To find events in Portland, checkout the Portland Leather Alliance or PDX Kink Events Calendar.

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Kink & BDSM Chicago, IL

Perhaps because of its unbearable winters, Chicago keeps things steamy all through the year. Home to two cozy play spaces plus one in its northern suburbs, it's easy to find a sense of community without seeing the same faces every night.
 

Kink & BDSM Chicago (Play) 

No matter your kink, you can find fun at one of Chicago's diverse and spacious play spaces. If you're looking for BDSM oriented activities within the city, LRA (formerly Leather Rose) is a well established, multi-level dungeon for open play accessible to members only. Certain educational events are occasionally open to the public, but the location is kept on the DL for safety and privacy reasons.

Galleria Domain 2 (GD2) is a newer and to be frank, classier version of the former Galleria Domain. This not-for-profit has elegant play spaces (including a fireplace!) and additionally hosts workshops, classes, support, and discussion groups for members, their guests, and sometimes the public.  For suburbanites, SINS (located in a north suburb of Chicago) is another not-for-profit dungeon equipped clubhouse for members, but every first Friday of the month is free and open to non-members. 

If you like incorporating crossdressing into your kinky play, then Safehouse is the place for you. They host parties every Saturday geared kinky men into crossdressing and their admirers, friends, and playmates. You can also rent out space for your private event. Admission is free for women and cross dressing males, plus you can get a free ride there via Lyft (see their website for details).


Image: Folsom Street Fair by Ed Bierman via Flickr Creative Commons
 

Kink & BDSM Chicago (Socialize)

Chicago also has its branch of TNG for kinksters ages 18-35. They host a munch every week and have their play nights at LRA and Galleria Domain 2. If you're looking for more of a support group, the Chicago Kinksters Discussion Group is facilitated by two kink-aware therapists.

Touché is Chicago's equivalent of Eagle Bar, a leather bar for men hosting weekly events, fundraisers, and contests. Windy City Bondage Club and Windy City Boys Troop are both fraternal and social organizations for men interested or involved in the leather/BDSM lifestyle. While WCBC only offers membership to men, WCBT extends their membership to self-identified men, including (but not limited to) cis-gendered females and anyone who's outward appearance may not match up with what is commonly perceived as male.

If you're hoping to insert yourself into the sex-positive community at large, join Sex Geekdom Chicago at their fun outings and bar nights, ranging from non-sexual to light play.

In this piece, we explored two hip and active yet sometimes overlooked kink scenes: Chicago, IL and Portland, OR. Now we're heading into two larger territories for kinky places to play: the most populous city in the country, and the most obvious destination for the sex-positive and kink-friendly community.

To find events in Chicago, check The Wink's Chicago listings.
 

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Kink & BDSM New York, NY

From secret basement level dungeons and parties to out in the open munches, New York's kink scene serves up leather history alongside an edgy play environment.
 

Kink & BDSM New York (Play)

Many organizations and venues host monthly play parties in multiple New York boroughs. Admission to classes and parties in New York are much pricier than elsewhere due to high competition in real estate, but some events are free to attend.

One of Manhattan's only open-to-the-public dungeon equipped space is Paddles, located on the basement level of a building in Chelsea. It's tough to find if you don't know what you're looking for, even once you make it into the building! It's not as big as dungeon spaces out of state, but is multi-level and houses both private, open, and semi-private play spaces.

Many organizations host parties at Paddles, with admission rates contingent upon the host. Dom(me) sub Friends or DsF is one of those. They generally have an accompanying workshop or demo style lecture preceding their play events, with discounted party admission for those who attend. TES, and New York's branch of TNG also host monthly classes and parties here.

Parthenon is another nearby dungeon typically used as session space for professional Dominatrices, that also hosts monthly parties and classes. Their prices are usually higher than those at Paddles, but they often offer orientation sessions for newcomers.

Cirque De Plaisir is part of the new loft-style party trend to hit New York. Admission is pricey (no couple deals), but non-gendered. Kinky Salon also hosts in non-dungeon spaces, but the townhouses they rent out are typically in Brooklyn. The commute, however, is a trade-off for a much more spacious (and classy) party.

Another of New York's kinky places to play that have quickly gained popularity is Wonderland, formerly reigning from London. In addition to an in-house dungeon, Wonderland features fun attractions such as photo booths, ball pits, and a dance floor (the attractions alternate per party). A cross between kink party and rave, outlandish and colorful dress is the norm here.
 

Kink & BDSM New York (Socialize)

For general information and discussions, MAsT (Masters And slaves Together) is NYC's local branch of the international BDSM support organization. The group holds monthly discussions on rotating topics relating to M/s and D/s dynamics. They are non-age and gender restrictive.

NYC's chapter of TNG (The Next Generation) however, does limit membership to those between the ages of 18-35. They host munches (kinky social gatherings generally held at a restaurant or cafe) before all of their play parties so that you can avoid attending a party alone.

SSASE (Soft Smiles Association for Submissive Education) is an independent group exclusively for female submissives (including switches wearing their submissive caps). They host discussion groups, kinky and non-kinky outings (which partners and friends are often welcome to join), and happy hours (often paired with cupcakes, cocktails, and swing-sets). For a more dude-centric vibe, check out NY's branch of Eagle Bar.

On the other side of the spectrum, Pleasure Salon is an all-inclusive social event for kinky, poly, and generally sex-positive folks. It takes place in a spacious and partially closed off rooftop bar, with other free events usually going on downstairs.

To find events in New York City check out the New York listings.

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Kink & BDSM San Francisco, CA

Perhaps the most welcoming and accepting city for kink in the country, San Francisco is home to spacious dungeons and sex-positive community centers such as Kink.com's Armory.
 

Kink & BDSM San Francisco (Play)

In addition to SF Citadel's diverse offering of affordable weekly play parties including AB/DL, leather-centric, age specific, all-inclusive, bondage enthusiasts, themed, queer, and way too many more to list. San Francisco is home to many other re-occurring parties catering to every corner of the kink community.

Kinky Salon (also in New York) is an all-inclusive and outrageous sex-positive and kinky party. It's always themed, and overdressing isn't possible. Mission Control hosts many other events along the lines of Kinky Salon, and their's are especially pansexual, queer-friendly, and trans welcoming.

For parties and venues geared toward a specific demographic, check out the SF Eagle and Mystique; the first is a bar for men of the leather community (and their gal pals) that hosts weekly and special monthly parties, and the latter a quarterly event geared toward dominant females. (You can also volunteer in exchange for free admission to Mystique.)
 

Kink & BDSM San Francisco (Socialize)

Like New York, San Francisco is also home to a branch of TNG and even has their own TES equivalent: Society of Janus (founded in 1975, only four years after TES). Janus is pansexual and open to all ages and hosts social gatherings and classes (generally at the Citadel) for members and non-members (prices are higher for non-members).

As far as male-only associations are concerned, San Francisco has (unsurprisingly) lots to offer: the Rubber Men of San Francisco, the SF Ring, the Defenders, the Leathermen's Discussion Group, and San Fran's senior gay leather organization (founded in 1980). The 15 Association are arguably the most prominent and active groups.

The SF girls of Leather (SfgoL) and Exiles (a 501(c)3 non-profit) are two female equivalents for self-identifying women interested or already involved in the kink scene and leather community. The Exiles are particularly welcoming to newcomers - offering many introductory BDSM classes. And if you're into San Francisco's history, then you'll find the Exiles timelessly relevant - they were the first women's only leather group ever founded - first as Cardea, then Samois, Outcasts, and eventually as the Exiles.

Most if not all of these groups (among countless others) meet at Wicked Grounds, San Francisco's only cafe run and owned by kinksters, for kinksters. (Although anyone can–and should–visit Wicked Grounds, they have delicious pastries and baked goods.) This sex toy boutique/cafe is the official meeting ground for all facets of the kink community.  Need I mention the internationally known Folsom Street Fair happening each fall?

To find events in San Francisco, check out the Bay Area community calendar, Citadel's events calendar, or the Bay Area Leather Alliance calendar.

Zoë Tersche is a New York-based writer focusing on fetish sexuality and the freedom of sexual expression. Follow her on Twitter @ZoeTersche .

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Cover Image: Folsom Street View from Above by Tim Bartel via Flickr Creative Commons