The FetLife app and site is well-known by kinksters. But if you don't yet have a FetLife login, is it worth joining this product that tries to bridge the gap between social networking and hook-ups? Victoria Blisse asks: what is FetLife really like?

 

What is FetLife?

Founded in 2008, FetLife.com and the FetLife app have now been serving the kink community for over 15 years. It describes itself as a social network site – rather than one aimed at BDSM dating. But is the fusion of social media and kink a beautiful place to find other kinksters? Let's find out...
 

FetLife Visual Appeal: 50 Shades of Dark

FetLife goes all out for the dark colours of BDSM; black and red with a few shades of grey. It's undeniable that you're not just browsing a vanilla social media site when you try a FetLife login.
 

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There are lots of porn ads too – usually only small ones – but they are often explicit. The FetLife app uses the same colors and has a very similar layout. However, with the FetLife app, it's much more streamlined for mobile use. 

fetlife-login-app.pngThe FetLife sign-in page

 

FetLife Navigation: Lost in Links

It's straightforward to sign up for the FetLife app or online. You have lots of genders, sexual orientations and fetish roles to choose from, so everyone is welcome.


There is a security feature that means before you can complete your first FetLife login you need to give a phone number so they can send you a code to complete registration, which means you can only have one account per email, making it harder for people to create fake accounts. 
 

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When you've registered on the FetLife app, you can fill in your profile with a photo and complete the 'about me' information including what you're looking for. 


A FetLife login works like changing your status on Facebook or adding a new pin on Pinterest, but if enough people like or comment on your post it could end up on the Kinky & Popular page making you a 'fetlebrity', at least for a short while. 
 

“The FetLife app is not easily accessible – Android users can't find it on Google Play because it does not stick to the app store regulations.”


Finding your way around after a FetLife login can take a bit of time, but you can enjoy the site without leaving your homepage once you make a few friends as all their content will show up in your feed. Finding people to 'friend' can be done by listing your fetishes and finding who else is into them or joining groups and chatting to other users there. 


sites-like-fetlife-signin.pngThe FetLife Explore page has different types of social feeds to browse

 

The FetLife App: hard to install

Do you have an iPhone? If so, then you won't be able to download the FetLife app to your phone. That's because the app is currently only available for Android users. Furthermore, the FetLife app is not easily accessible – Android users can't find it on Google Play because it does not stick to the app stores' regulations.


Instead, the installation process for the FetLife App is very different – you must go to the FetlLife site and download the app as a .apk file and then manually install that on your phone.


Unlike the FetLife app, our very own FET app respects the 'hard limits' of mainstream app marketplaces like Google Play and the AppStore to foster real change (which always comes from the inside out).
 

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A key element of our mission is to demystify fetishes and alternative lifestyles, and that's only possible if you create tolerance and acceptance within society by being an accessible part of it, instead of playing the rebellious outsider role.
 

FetLife Community Feel: Kinksters Unite

What is FetLife but a place for kinksters to meet online? That is one of its principal purposes. Indeed, there are loads of ways to connect to others on the FetLife app.


Just like Facebook, there's a box where you can update your status. You can comment on another member's content, be it their writing or photo/video. Be aware that comments are public, and once you post, it stays there for ever. Comments cannot be deleted: you have been warned!


Additionally, there are lots of groups for all kinds of fetishes, and you can join as many of these as you like and connect with other people, into anything from hair pulling to macrophilia. Also, like with us here on Fetish.com you can add kinks and fetishes to your profile – not only does this show visitors to your profile what you're into, it also allows you to browse others that are into the same kinks as you. 

 

Screenshot of groups on Fetlife
Some of the many groups on FetLife App
 

Is FetLife Free? Yes, Well, Sort of...

The best way to get dates is to know lots of people who are into the same things as you. Like Fetish.com and the FET app, FetLife and the FetLife app is free to join, although there's an inexpensive membership package at $5 a month that helps support the site and comes with a few extra perks.


You can watch videos, go further back in your news feed, see all photos and writings as soon as their uploaded and customize your friend feed however you like.
 

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You can't pay with credit cards or bank transfer, though, which makes the process a little more involved – this is so that FetLife can keep discussing subjects that credit card providers and banks don't allow. FetLife is not expensive at all, but you can use the FetLife app effectively without spending a single dime. 

 

FetLife Help and FAQ

The community guidelines and FAQs are extensive. They cover every aspect that a fetish community might face including tough questions on stalking and fearing for your life.  
 

“It's undeniable that you're not just browsing a vanilla social media site when you try a FetLife login. There are lots of porn ads too – usually small – but they are often explicit.”

 

But what is FetLife doing about support? You need to follow the staff and leave them a message if you have a problem, which is my most significant area of concern. On John Baku’s profile (the founder), it says that the fastest way to get hold of them is to send an email to the support(at)fetlife.com address. Responses to emails are slow or never come.  
 

kinky_320x50_EN.gif

 

It is disappointing that a vibrant community such as FetLife lacks the proper support structure. If safety is such a key feature, then support should be quick to respond.

 

FetLife Site and App Conclusion

What is FetLife? An amalgam of a porn site, kink community and BDSM dating site. It can depend on who you are and what you're looking for as to if you find it useful or not. •


Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.


  Download FET from the App Store  Download FET from the Play Store

Do you love a FetLife login as much as us? Is there anything about it that gets on your tits? Share your thoughts with our kinky community. or tell us in the comments below.. And, if you like FetLife and the FetLife app you'll love Fetish.com and our FET app!
 

sites-like-fetlife-app.png

Cover image released from Shutterstock.com

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Enviralmental

Posted

On 5/1/2024 at 12:19 AM, EskelaTheHuntress said:

Nothing with value is free ... Equivalent exchange is a law of universe  ;)

Having to pay just to know who hit like is extremely greedy. At least Fetlife knows where to draw the line for capitalizing. 

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Posted

On 12/11/2023 at 12:00 PM, LadyV said:

Fetlife doesn't do anything to reduce the rampant misogynistic abuse and sexual harassment of it's woman and AFAB userbase. 

 

Unsurprisingly, being constantly mistreated and harassed tends to make the women and AFABs leave the site or go inactive in large volumes. The gender/sex skews winds up with Fetlife being about 70-80% horny, lonely, straight men. 

 

Fetish.com also doesn't appear to do anything to reduce it's rampant misogynistic abuse and sexual harassment of it's AFAB userbase.

 

Unsurprisingly, same deal. Most of the women and AFAB profiles here are scammers or dead for literally the same reason. Women and AFABs don't want to be here when we get treated like shit constantly by idiotic and abusive thirsty men. So I'd guess Fetish.com is about 90% horny straight men getting nowhere after harassing all the women into leaving. 

 

Why does Fetlife have a slightly better percentage of women and AFABs by my estimates? Probably because Fetlife, despite being run by sexist idiots, does have a better forum community and better event listings. That's enough to make the endless harassment a little more tolerable (but not by much...most women and AFABs still don't bother with bdsm related sites and men's behavior on those sites is definitely the reason).

 

You're looking at a, "these are both shit sandwiches," kind of situation but at least one of those sandwiches comes with an olive. 

Me encanta , por eso es que llegan a colombia y les sacan hasta el alma , Ellos creen que una mujer que acepta verse con ellos sin tributo previo va a ser una buena cita , pero lo que resulta siendo es una cita con la muerte .

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Posted

On 4/21/2023 at 11:04 AM, Sooneroutlaw said:

This shouldn't be a pay site . It would be better if it was free 

Nothing with value is free ... Equivalent exchange is a law of universe  ;)

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Posted (edited)

La verdad apesta . te dan puntos y cuando reúnes suficientes para hacer el canje por dinero  . Misteriosamente  cambia tu contraseña y pierdes el acceso . Luego ya no puedes entrar hasta que el perfil se pierde . aunque esté verificado . Sumado a eso , muchos de los usuarios no leen  el perfil y se ponen groseros cuando les mencionas que deben tributar si desean que veas o supervises su cámara. Una vez pagué la  membresía y de nuevo , misteriosamente   luego de dos dias , me aparece un correo diciendo que yo ejercía la prostitución y que mi perfil habia sido cerrado por  masivas denuncias , LO cual es  fail , no creo que eso fuera cierto y si lo es , fué por negarme al encuentro con cuanto mugroso dice ser sumiso . El tributo e s un filtro , quién se niega a tributar , en mi caso . No tiene la intención de servir , yo entiendo que existe mucha bruja scammer , pero no es el caso. Yo trabajo  como webcam , y en todas mis mazmorras virtuales , el sumiso sigue ordenes y tributa antes de entrar . 

Edited by 12f5787868fe1cb9bed00777eccbd27b

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Th****

Posted

34 minutes ago, u-662840793ddf6 said:

I have tried to get on but it won't let me

 

You have to create an account to get access

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Posted

I have tried to get on but it won't let me

 

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Th****

Posted

2 hours ago, LadyV said:

Fetlife doesn't do anything to reduce the rampant misogynistic abuse and sexual harassment of it's woman and AFAB userbase. 

 

Unsurprisingly, being constantly mistreated and harassed tends to make the women and AFABs leave the site or go inactive in large volumes. The gender/sex skews winds up with Fetlife being about 70-80% horny, lonely, straight men. 

 

Fetish.com also doesn't appear to do anything to reduce it's rampant misogynistic abuse and sexual harassment of it's AFAB userbase.

 

Unsurprisingly, same deal. Most of the women and AFAB profiles here are scammers or dead for literally the same reason. Women and AFABs don't want to be here when we get treated like shit constantly by idiotic and abusive thirsty men. So I'd guess Fetish.com is about 90% horny straight men getting nowhere after harassing all the women into leaving. 

 

Why does Fetlife have a slightly better percentage of women and AFABs by my estimates? Probably because Fetlife, despite being run by sexist idiots, does have a better forum community and better event listings. That's enough to make the endless harassment a little more tolerable (but not by much...most women and AFABs still don't bother with bdsm related sites and men's behavior on those sites is definitely the reason).

 

You're looking at a, "these are both shit sandwiches," kind of situation but at least one of those sandwiches comes with an olive. 

👏👏👏 Agreed, all of this. Fetlife does seem to have better ratios of actual kinksters vs. Tourists and people who are only looking to get laid and have it in their head that BDSM & kink = some sort of no effort sex free for all. 

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LadyV

Posted (edited)

Fetlife doesn't do anything to reduce the rampant misogynistic abuse and sexual harassment of it's woman and AFAB userbase. 

 

Unsurprisingly, being constantly mistreated and harassed tends to make the women and AFABs leave the site or go inactive in large volumes. The gender/sex skews winds up with Fetlife being about 70-80% horny, lonely, straight men. 

 

Fetish.com also doesn't appear to do anything to reduce it's rampant misogynistic abuse and sexual harassment of it's AFAB userbase.

 

Unsurprisingly, same deal. Most of the women and AFAB profiles here are scammers or dead for literally the same reason. Women and AFABs don't want to be here when we get treated like shit constantly by idiotic and abusive thirsty men. So I'd guess Fetish.com is about 90% horny straight men getting nowhere after harassing all the women into leaving. 

 

Why does Fetlife have a slightly better percentage of women and AFABs by my estimates? Probably because Fetlife, despite being run by sexist idiots, does have a better forum community and better event listings. That's enough to make the endless harassment a little more tolerable (but not by much...most women and AFABs still don't bother with bdsm related sites and men's behavior on those sites is definitely the reason).

 

You're looking at a, "these are both shit sandwiches," kind of situation but at least one of those sandwiches comes with an olive. 

Edited by LadyV
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MSLUTSLAVE

Posted

HELLO THERE. MY SLAVE NAME IS ''MSLUTSLAVE."  TO ALL OF YOU SUBMIISIVE MALES LIKE MYSELF WHO TRIED FET LIFE BDSM WEBSITE I THINK THAT THIS WEBSITE IS VERY TERRIBLE. IF YOU ACCIDENTLY VIOLATE ONE OF THEIR POLCIES THERE IS ONE GUY AND ONE GUY ALONE WHO CAN DECIDE YOUR FATE. THIS JERK PLACED ME ON A VERY PERNAMENT TIME OUT OR A PERNAMENT BAN. I THINK THAT THIS GUY THINKS THAT HE IS ON A POWER TRIP BY TRAMPLING ON OTHER PORR SUBMISSSIVE MALE SLAVES LIKE MYSELF. WELL I DO HOPE THAT SOMEHOW THIS GUY GETS A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICNE.

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Junior0014

Posted

I have been looking for a Dominant roleplay Nurse for Exams and Enemas.  I am a slim submissive boy who luvs controlling females.  Age is not an issue and I welcome mature older females .   Must enjoy medical fetish roleplay.

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Sooneroutlaw

Posted

This shouldn't be a pay site . It would be better if it was free 

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Vallin

Posted

I stated in my profile here that I'm a poster child for FetLife!

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Posted

I found it to be more connected with others on the site . More local events and possible connections to meet up at coffee shops and such. Also local rope classes for beginners.

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Radu-2172

Posted

Well i have been on Fetlife for a few day's and what i experienced was that there are a lot of trolls who attack you from the moment you enter. No fun for me there. On fetish.com all people ignore you when you are new. I can't find out if i can delete a picture again after i have upload one, and i see no option to delete my profile if i don't like it anymore. So i keep a bit of distance with fetish.com. So far i have experienced nothing that is worth money.

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