I am a 36-year-old Dom with a varied experience with submissives.
I've engaged in play that ranges from single-scene arrangements to full-time TPE.
I have a fairly strong kink for effort that drives most of the things I enjoy. I like to see submissives go through things on my behalf, whether that's spending effort, concentration, endurance, service, etc.
I reward them according to the effort they went to on my behalf.
On the back of that effort kink is a fairly sadistic streak.
If you're looking for externalised consequences or someone to hurt you the way you need it. Give me a try.
Fair warning: I am not a soft Dom.
I was just talking to someone about this.
In my view, in all D/s relationships of any severity you are exchanging. The sub gains obligations and the Dom gains responsibilities and accountability.
Your service is supposed to get you your needs met in all instances.
The only things that matter are: communication and compartmentalisation.
Have you communicated and understood your Sub? Is romance / feelings something they are comfortable exploring?
If the answer is no, is it something you're capable of compartmentalizing? If both parties are not fully on board Read more… with exploring it you could have fairly significant problems and discomfort in your future.