Make sure you express what is happening for you very clearly. I’m assuming that you have safe words and those sorts of things already sorted out. The main thing is to make sure that you give clear and unambiguous feedback to your Dom. Overtime they will come to read you better and should be able to Read more… find your boundaries without exceeding your limits. Above all, it should not be a burden for you but a joy, although at times quite challenging. Be open about your emotions.

I would say that asphyxiation was the challenging one for me. Considerable care needed to avoid brain ***! I think the main thing out of that request was the amount of learning I needed to do to do it safely. (At least as safely as one can). On the receiving end, one can be very unsure of something Read more… but if one trusts the person and knows the person then those boundaries can be pushed.

Thank you for that explanation, Sophie.
And apologies also for typos in my last comment. I use voice recognition software and it has strange moments.
The journey you have described is a very sad and difficult one. It does seem to me that your previous Master was not in a space mentally to take on Read more… the responsibility that he did. Again I can certainly confirm that people have no right to place someone in a collar unless they are able, willing and committed to what that means and requires.
My first 24/7 experience lasted over a decade however the strength that it needed from me (and I also experience depression) at times became too much. All sorts of reasons for that, in particular radical change in life circumstances for us both. Stress can come on for all sorts of reasons.
Does this mean I am not going to try again? No it doesn’t, but it does mean that I will be taking even more care this time around to make sure that I have both the capability and capacity to provide what any future slave might need.
Coming out of this is the need for a much higher level of self-awareness in this type of relationship than might be needed in a vanilla relationship. This applies to both sides.
I don’t find it surprising that after a year you are still trying to process this. You committed your life to this and now it is gone. There will be grieving and those processes take a long time and are ***ful.
My thought is that our past does not and should not dictate our present and future but is to inform our present and future. What are our learnings out of all of this? Can we do better next time? Maybe that is in choice of person or maybe there are things inside ourselves. Only we can know that.
It is good that you have reached out and have been able to draw forth supportive responses from people.
With my best wishes to you,
Sadar

From the Master side of things it can be equally distressing. Sometimes we just need to come to an accommodation with something because acceptance is too challenging initially. As set out in a previous comment, the intensity is of an extremely high and this can leave one feeling quite bereft and Read more… lonely.
I agree that it’s very important that you look after yourself Kerr and realise that you have agency in yourself and can centre yourself.
Important too is to take time before entering into another relationship. Test carefully that you have the same aims and objectives with the relationship and that you are compatible in the way you think about the world.
I wish you all the best on your journey and I’m sure that you will have a good journey ahead of you!