Boundaries/ submission/ Dominance

[lo****]

I have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years, this past couple weeks I have been tested and failed miserably. Reading up on psychology with bdsm has helped a lot. I submitted to someone that was just learning the lifestyle. However they only wanted the experience of
Fuckin me however they preferred I submitted of course. So here I am feeling rejected and used up. So I crave a physical *** to get Thur the emotional damage. Now I *** it's just to heavy and I don't know how or where to began to heal. I knew better. I let go of all boundaries all protocol and seen and knew this would be the result. Any feedback would help I just want to be ok.

[Go****]

Hi love land. I'm so sorry to hear about the personal trials that you're going through right now. The *** and the sadness. We've all been there at one point or another in our lives, most of us more than one time. I wanted to give you a thought. It's not the answer, not the right answer and not the wrong answer, it's just a thought. I think that you are judging yourself based upon another person's actions. You allowed yourself to go deeper and farther than you had gone before, into some territory perhaps that was uncomfortable for you or scary??? But this is not necessarily bad, you are in a place right now because you've done things like this your whole life. Taking a step beyond where you would gone before and looked around. Sometimes you liked what you saw, other times you said.... No I don't think that's for me. But throughout your life think of all the wonderful things that you've come across because you let yourself go just a little bit further than you had gone before. I believe it's the same for all of us. I commend you on your bravery and your willingness to submit and let your Dom/Daddy lead. I believe strongly that the gift of our baby girls / princesses / subs / etc is in the act of their willingness to submit. It cannot be ***d, it is a willing act of trust and devotion. As the Dom/Daddy, it is our gift that we take responsibility. Yes I have all the power, but only because you gave it to me. Yes I can do anything I want, but only because you chose to allow me. It is a symbiotic relationship that is sacred in my opinion. But I'll go a step further, if my little girl is truly submissive, if she accepts daddy's word and gives Daddy what he wants. If she lifts me up and spends her days trying to make all of my dreams come true... Then what is the gift that I give to her? Sure there are a lot of people out there that will say that the gift I give to her is the gift of her not having to make decisions, to be able to lead a carefree lifestyle. But I think it is much much more. My gift is responsibility. After all if you submit and do as daddy says And you do that with a good and glad heart, how can anything be your fault. I am responsible. I am responsible for everything that happens when my princess is playing her part as a submissive. It sounds to me like you played your part very well, you did nothing wrong. And if you did nothing wrong, then you should stop allowing his actions to make you feel bad about yourself. Let's face it, there's just some people out there that are selfish, that they will take that power that you so graciously bestowed upon him and use it only to satisfy himself / themselves. Don't let their lack of good faith in the relationship cause you to change who you are, to cause you to lose some of the magic that you found through all of these years of exploring these different aspects of your emotions and sexuality. As always, this is just my opinion and it is not intended to offend anyone in any way. If it did, except my apology up front. Loveland, let me end the book that I just wrote with these final words. You are still a princess, the same princess you were before. The only way you lose anything is if you allow him to continue to harm you even though he's now long gone. Keep your smile and focus on the future. It's arriving every moment and if you're looking behind you you will miss what's coming to you. It sounds like you deserve to find it so keep a sharp eye 😘

[jo****]

Well i can’t write a scroll like that guy but seems like your looking for me so just fr me and let me show you your fantasy you actually wanted baby

[lo****]

  2 hours ago, GoodDaddy4GoodGirl said:

Hi love land. I'm so sorry to hear about the personal trials that you're going through right now. The *** and the sadness. We've all been there at one point or another in our lives, most of us more than one time. I wanted to give you a thought. It's not the answer, not the right answer and not the wrong answer, it's just a thought. I think that you are judging yourself based upon another person's actions. You allowed yourself to go deeper and farther than you had gone before, into some territory perhaps that was uncomfortable for you or scary??? But this is not necessarily bad, you are in a place right now because you've done things like this your whole life. Taking a step beyond where you would gone before and looked around. Sometimes you liked what you saw, other times you said.... No I don't think that's for me. But throughout your life think of all the wonderful things that you've come across because you let yourself go just a little bit further than you had gone before. I believe it's the same for all of us. I commend you on your bravery and your willingness to submit and let your Dom/Daddy lead. I believe strongly that the gift of our baby girls / princesses / subs / etc is in the act of their willingness to submit. It cannot be ***d, it is a willing act of trust and devotion. As the Dom/Daddy, it is our gift that we take responsibility. Yes I have all the power, but only because you gave it to me. Yes I can do anything I want, but only because you chose to allow me. It is a symbiotic relationship that is sacred in my opinion. But I'll go a step further, if my little girl is truly submissive, if she accepts daddy's word and gives Daddy what he wants. If she lifts me up and spends her days trying to make all of my dreams come true... Then what is the gift that I give to her? Sure there are a lot of people out there that will say that the gift I give to her is the gift of her not having to make decisions, to be able to lead a carefree lifestyle. But I think it is much much more. My gift is responsibility. After all if you submit and do as daddy says And you do that with a good and glad heart, how can anything be your fault. I am responsible. I am responsible for everything that happens when my princess is playing her part as a submissive. It sounds to me like you played your part very well, you did nothing wrong. And if you did nothing wrong, then you should stop allowing his actions to make you feel bad about yourself. Let's face it, there's just some people out there that are selfish, that they will take that power that you so graciously bestowed upon him and use it only to satisfy himself / themselves. Don't let their lack of good faith in the relationship cause you to change who you are, to cause you to lose some of the magic that you found through all of these years of exploring these different aspects of your emotions and sexuality. As always, this is just my opinion and it is not intended to offend anyone in any way. If it did, except my apology up front. Loveland, let me end the book that I just wrote with these final words. You are still a princess, the same princess you were before. The only way you lose anything is if you allow him to continue to harm you even though he's now long gone. Keep your smile and focus on the future. It's arriving every moment and if you're looking behind you you will miss what's coming to you. It sounds like you deserve to find it so keep a sharp eye 😘

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Thank you that means so much to me

[Ms****]

Oh, that’s rough. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I don’t know how much you are negotiating these relationships. I know that if I don’t set clear boundaries and manage expectations that the scene can go off in a direction trust doesn’t bring me the joy I’m looking for.

If you find any of these ideas helpful, feel free to adopt them.

When talking with the potential playmate, I layout three groups of information.

1) My hard limits
2) My favorite kinks, and I have quite a few few
3) Who I am (a queer polyamorous person with several joyfriends), what I’m looking for (dominant and submissive, play partners), and where are my desire for penetrative sex lies on the priority list. (Spoiler alert: It’s not high.)

Feel free to reply here or drop me a DM if you want to chat more about it.

I hope you find what you’re looking for, because you’re beautiful and you deserve to find that joy. 💜

[Go****]

  11 minutes ago, loveland909199 said:

Thank you that means so much to me

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You're welcome princess. Have the sweetest of dreams and perhaps we'll talk another time 😘

[lo****]

  52 minutes ago, MsAmberDoll said:

Oh, that’s rough. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I don’t know how much you are negotiating these relationships. I know that if I don’t set clear boundaries and manage expectations that the scene can go off in a direction trust doesn’t bring me the joy I’m looking for.

If you find any of these ideas helpful, feel free to adopt them.

When talking with the potential playmate, I layout three groups of information.

1) My hard limits
2) My favorite kinks, and I have quite a few few
3) Who I am (a queer polyamorous person with several joyfriends), what I’m looking for (dominant and submissive, play partners), and where are my desire for penetrative sex lies on the priority list. (Spoiler alert: It’s not high.)

Feel free to reply here or drop me a DM if you want to chat more about it.

I hope you find what you’re looking for, because you’re beautiful and you deserve to find that joy. 💜

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Yes I did do that,

[Mi****]

  4 hours ago, johnnyboi1776 said:

Well i can’t write a scroll like that guy but seems like your looking for me so just fr me and let me show you your fantasy you actually wanted baby

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Get a grip you idiot. She came here for advice to heal not to be approached by another prat with no idea of the lifestyle.

[Mi****]

Just take time to heal and take time for yourself. Draw on your experience and stick to your boundaries in future. Big hugs 🤗 to you.

[du****]

Hi yh give it time I always found out when doing hard-core play such as *** it always best to slowly build it up I done different levels of it I always say to do it in stages too

[lo****]

You made me laugh ty pervy p

[Mi****]

  50 minutes ago, loveland909199 said:

You made me laugh ty pervy p

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Hahah!! Well, some people are just not in touch with reality!!

[Teasedtillubeg]

Going beyond your boundaries isn’t submission, it’s *** and I think you should go out and have some good conversations with other female subs to get some support and your mojo back. This lack of control is part of a cycle which keeps spitting you out where your at. I’d take the above advice about your limits, time out to sort what you want, etc.
For now and the future your dom needs to be in balance with you and understand the difference between you doing anything to please them and what you are happy to do to please them. You shouldn’t put pressure on yourself to do something to please someone, a form of relationship FOMO. Stick with your limits and if the dom isn’t happy they can go find someone with limits more suited to theirs and visa versa. That doesn’t make you a failure, just incompatible with that particular dom. there’s loads more out there and one of us will suit you and allow you to be you plus happy and content. Good luck.

[Ki****]

GoodDaddy4GoodGirl said it so perfectly. I can only add that it was a learning experience for you. To know yourself even better, to know your boundaries even better, to see where you want to go moving forward. 
 

I’m sorry about whatever happened that hurt your heart. Give yourself time to heal and know that this experience will make you a stronger person in the end. You did nothing wrong, so stop beating yourself up over “mistakes”. We rarely learn from successes but failure is a wonderful teacher. You took a chance on an opportunity and it didn’t work out how you thought it would. But you can still learn and grow from it.
Sending you hugs. 

[Mi****]

Sorry to hear that.