Getting Verified as 18+ - And Good Manners

[Si****]

I’ve owned a few businesses from an Italian restaurant to distant selling. I’ve learned one simple thing, Give what you say you will, and no one will blink an eye. Why? Because that’s what the expect and are paying for. A business has to give a bit more than what is expected to get people to say ‘wow, thank you’ only then will they talk about it to others. The only sound that appears to resonate on this site are the problems which I’m seeing and experiencing for myself so I have no choice but to give belief to others voices.

[qu****]

Then contact the owners directly, if you have a problem with a local McDonald's and get nowhere you go higher up the chain

[Vandalslut]

15 hours ago, Hotplay said:

I’ve owned a few businesses from an Italian restaurant to distant selling. I’ve learned one simple thing, Give what you say you will, and no one will blink an eye. Why? Because that’s what the expect and are paying for. A business has to give a bit more than what is expected to get people to say ‘wow, thank you’ only then will they talk about it to others. The only sound that appears to resonate on this site are the problems which I’m seeing and experiencing for myself so I have no choice but to give belief to others voices.

It pays to go that bit 'extra'.  Once or twice we've had orders go AWOL in the post, and one was stolen off a doorstep. We apologised to the customer, got reimbursed from Australia Post and from then on paid $2.95 extra for signature on delivery. When we've had a complaint about a delivery that's been delayed because it's gone to the wrong place or address because Australia Post has employed someone  dyslexic (again), we've sent the customer a $10.00 voucher.  Not one of them's ever been redeemed.  But at least they know we're making an effort to recompense them for inconvenience.

[Si****]

7 hours ago, Vandalslut said:

It pays to go that bit 'extra'.  Once or twice we've had orders go AWOL in the post, and one was stolen off a doorstep. We apologised to the customer, got reimbursed from Australia Post and from then on paid $2.95 extra for signature on delivery. When we've had a complaint about a delivery that's been delayed because it's gone to the wrong place or address because Australia Post has employed someone  dyslexic (again), we've sent the customer a $10.00 voucher.  Not one of them's ever been redeemed.  But at least they know we're making an effort to recompense them for inconvenience.

The fact that you took ownership of the problem and made the effort means more to the customer (that means the end user Fetish!). Ive sent messages to a few moderators asking question, none have come back to me, None! its been a few weeks so surly they have seen them by now. Its easy to be nonchalant with one person, but it does appear to me far too many unsatisfied people. hint hint.

[qu****]

In the main all dating/community sites are self-regenerating beasts, I've been here for 3 or 4 years now, and various other sites for about 10 years, not saying it's right but these issues are always there on all platforms, if people choose to leave as a result nothing will change , but others will join and the same complaints arise time and time again 

[qu****]

It's a bit like the hotel California, you stab it with your steely knives but you still can't kill the beast

[Si****]

Just now, quietlysure said:

In the main all dating/community sites are self-regenerating beasts, I've been here for 3 or 4 years now, and various other sites for about 10 years, not saying it's right but these issues are always there on all platforms, if people choose to leave as a result nothing will change , but others will join and the same complaints arise time and time again 

 So what your saying is if I leave, nothing will change and if I stay, nothing will change. wow so that's ok then. If you go to a restaurant and the service is bad, the food is awful, people should say nothing, pay the bill and not go back ever again. I don't agree. The customer should say something in order to give the restaurant a chance to put theses things right. I (if i was the owner or even someone being paid to run it) I would want to know. How can I fix something that is wrong if I don't know its wrong? just the same as any Dom has to know things so that hard limits are not crossed. It no different.

[Si****]

9 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

It's a bit like the hotel California, you stab it with your steely knives but you still can't kill the beast

Then stop stabbing it and show some kindness. *** is not always the easy way out. Stop defending the problem. you just trolling people who are being open about their feelings over this site. They are their feelings and you don't get to tell them they are wrong. Respect peoples feeling. its that simple

Edited January 15, 2020 by Hotplay
typo

[qu****]

So why, considering the same problems occur on all dating/community sites across the world, do they continue to exist and attract new members, I'm not saying you shouldn't complain, but as I've said before you direct to the site owners, I've used McDonald's as an analogy before as I know someone who got nowhere with a local branch, contacted McDonald's directly, result the local franchise owner lost the franchise

[qu****]

I've never said you're wrong, far from it, I'm just saying these aren't new arguements, and in reality the only way would be for every single member of a site to leave, the problem is the actual owners never seem to appear on site, even just saying sorry we understand your concerns and are trying to sort it would help

[Vandalslut]

20 hours ago, SirGreen said:

Then stop stabbing it and show some kindness. *** is not always the easy way out. Stop defending the problem. you just trolling people who are being open about their feelings over this site. They are their feelings and you don't get to tell them they are wrong. Respect peoples feeling. its that simple

The 'beast' referred to, in this discussion, is the utter lack of interest some businesses have in customer satisfaction and service and how hard it is to 'slay' that disinterest and get things changed for the better.  This is not a thread about ***, and *** has not been mentioned anywhere in it.

Edited January 16, 2020 by Vandalslut

[Vandalslut]

20 hours ago, quietlysure said:

I've never said you're wrong, far from it, I'm just saying these aren't new arguements, and in reality the only way would be for every single member of a site to leave, the problem is the actual owners never seem to appear on site, even just saying sorry we understand your concerns and are trying to sort it would help

When a bricks and mortar business doesn't do the right thing, it goes out backwards and has to shut down - because every last customer HAS deserted it, and that just doesn't happen in cyber-space.  Apologies and problem-sorting here is down to the moderators, which is like the waitress trying to fix a restaurant which is serving sub-standard food. I would like to say the Moderators here have made a very good effort to fix our individual problem and have succeeded. But I'd hope that there are some major moves to get to the causes of the problems and fix them for the future. Here in Oz, there's been many outlets of Myers Department Store closed down and no surprise there - on the few occasions I went into a Myers, the staff were so snobbish - they took one look at me, decided I didn't have *** and wouldn't serve me, just kept chatting to each other and admiring each other's manicures.  So I went somewhere else. 

[Vandalslut]

20 hours ago, quietlysure said:

So why, considering the same problems occur on all dating/community sites across the world, do they continue to exist and attract new members, I'm not saying you shouldn't complain, but as I've said before you direct to the site owners, I've used McDonald's as an analogy before as I know someone who got nowhere with a local branch, contacted McDonald's directly, result the local franchise owner lost the franchise

RESULT!

[qu****]

Why allow someone to post a possibly worrying topic, then carry out verification on them meaning you can't reply to the post, surely it shouldn't be shown during this period

[Si****]

My apologies if what I wrote was misunderstood. My reference to *** was the business killing itself by the owners not taking actions to problems on the assumption that unhappy customers don’t tell others of their poor service. It was not meant to be taken literally. That said, the Mods here have done what they can to help and some good has come out of it. But it’s the site owners that need to take a step up but contacting them is impossible. At least McDs has a head office. Hardly a comparison. 

[qu****]

Too be honest if forgotten about it so no worries, I guess that's the trouble of the written word in these contexts, you have no nuance of voice or body language to go by, hence even the simplest sentence can be perceived differently to what was meant

Edited January 23, 2020 by quietlysure
Trouble of the, not if

[Ar****]

On 1/14/2020 at 3:40 AM, Vandalslut said:

You said it, Lilmonster - there's no consistency.  In some cases, in our prowls herein, there's some very obvious rule breaking, making it look like one rule for some, another rule for others.

I'm feeling a little disappointed by this aspect today. And I know everybody is only human, doing the best job they can, I am truly thankful to everybody who runs the site up front and behind the scenes... let me explain. 

 

There is one fairly new user here whom I have been talking with on-and-off for almost a month since she joined us. Not too experienced in the scene, looking for advice and where she can find munches etc. I reached out, welcomed her, gave her some ideas and sent some links to possible suitable places vaguely near to her. Every now and again I'd check up on her and how she was settling in, or she might message to see how I was doing. You know, like people are supposed to. Nothing kinky or sexual between us at all.

 

Last night we had our longest chat since she joined. It was nice to see how she had settled in here and was growing. She had learned to say no and to not put up with the creeps in her inbox etc. A new photo had been added yesterday, possibly because she was feeling more confident here now. Definitely the same young woman from the photos uploaded when she joined.

 

When I came onto the site today, I saw that she is now unavailable on suspicion of not being real. Suspended until she provides verification, and I wistfully felt like we shall not see her again.

 

Maybe she IS a catfish/fake. Perhaps somebody stored several photos of the same person to upload at different times. I certainly don't know what her interactions with other users were like. I can only go off my own experiences with her. I was never asked for anything, never ***d or manipulated. I struggle to see how this person could be anything other than a pleasant young woman trying to find her place here, I struggle to see how if some dubious behaviour has taken place elsewhere why it wasn't attempted with me.

 

I have to wonder if she is the victim of spiteful reporting by a scorned would-be suitor, and if that is the case what protects subs from this? When we want this community to be safe, grow and thrive, what protects new users who may have no interest in getting verified (if they are here only for casual use) from being targeted? What incentive is there for them to not just walk away after they have invested their time here only to be questioned?

 

I don't know, I'm waffling. Of course we need verification, and I have no doubts that in most instances it is the right thing to do. I think this ramble just comes from a pang of melancholy over any genuine ones the community loses this way, when they could be contributing and we can all help one another grow. I have no solution.

[Ar****]

Oops!

Edited January 28, 2020 by Aranhis
Posted same comment twice, can't delete

[Mo****]

Not long after I first signed up I got booted and had to verify my account, I suspect I was reported by someone I hadn't "played ball" with as it happened directly after our interaction. It would make much more sense to verify and age 18+ check at the same time on sign up would save everyone a lot of hassle in the long run.

[qu****]

Part of the problem is how long verification can take, but then we don't know if it's the site taking it's time, or the member, who may or may not go along with the process

[Mo****]

Just now, quietlysure said:

Part of the problem is how long verification can take, but then we don't know if it's the site taking it's time, or the member, who may or may not go along with the process

My first 2 attempts at verification didn't make the grade so it was a couple of days before I was accepted back on

[3S****]

I don't have any photo ID so can't verify. But notice i have a fake check tick on my profile?

Edited March 27, 2020 by 3SumQueen
noticed something

[Ky****]

On 1/28/2020 at 2:25 PM, Morganna said:

My first 2 attempts at verification didn't make the grade so it was a couple of days before I was accepted back on

I had the same problem, in my case the site wanted verification when I realised I no longer identify as male, and my photos kept getting rejected,