How do you get people to see past your exterior?

[46****]

Wanted to pop back on here and say thank you for the helpful responses and the interesting discourse. I definitely need to work on finding more photos of myself that aren't just basic (not quite sure where yet, but we'll get working on improving that). I also still have to get more comfortable on here anyway being open about exactly what I want and more comfortable starting conversations about things myself.

[Ne****]

13 minutes ago, 463JG said:

Wanted to pop back on here and say thank you for the helpful responses and the interesting discourse. I definitely need to work on finding more photos of myself that aren't just basic (not quite sure where yet, but we'll get working on improving that). I also still have to get more comfortable on here anyway being open about exactly what I want and more comfortable starting conversations about things myself.

🤘🏽 You made this post, so.. a level-up?! (I’d take it for myself AND give myself a treat! 😁) Dig the authenticity, and willingness to seek within & also consult others. Excited for your journey. 🤗

[KaptKinkster]

Oddly enough I think I stumbled across the reason people are so sh*tty these days.. folks in my generation, we grew up being told and reading Aesop's Fables! Remember those? The Little Red Hen, The Goose That Laid the Golden Egg, eetc.The last two generations didn't get that and so they really have no moral compass from a young age.

[Ki****]

@KaptKinkster as a teacher and Gen Z, I can tell you that both millennials and Gen Z were taught Aesop's Fables

[KaptKinkster]

Not enough though me thinks, not nearly enough.

[vg****]

It’s definitely hard (next to impossible) to find true genuine connection from any app. Just try giving up on all apps out there including this one and meet people in person… I have started to go for munches and events to meet people in person and have a human conversation. Helps me put forward my genuine self without filters visual or otherwise and get to know all sorts of people… Makes it so much easier to trust them if you have seen them in person before… Also safer IMO.

[is****]

I ask myself that all the time!

[ch****]

chances are if a person has a long effort bio, lots of photos, and socials that they'd want the other person to check out, im more likely to talk to them outside thinking their attractive. I will look at physically attractive people, but i will also look at people who are putting effort into their profiles and want you to check them out. Note worthy, a lot of super attractive guys on here dont have bios so i skip them 🤸‍♀️💖

[Re****]

ARE you busy living, or are you busy dying? You put all your ducks in a row and color code your closet people just see a mannequin. Ask yourself, are you predictable, is your life plan perfectly suited to your perfect life plan? Or is there enough chaos and unpredictability that a woman/man can see merging their life plan in.
If sex is all a woman is offering, then that is all I want from her.. are you some variant of that?
I was in a bail bonds office once. Just me, some Uber hoochie trying to figure out who She wants to get a ride home from jail with, and a woman working behind the counter. When the dude of questionable luck picked up our road hŭêr, the woman working said, I have a good job, my own home and vehicle, both paid for and I am at least as pretty as she is, yet there is no way I woukd have 10 guys all wanting to pick me up from jail. He'll I don't even have a prospect for a date anytime soon. Not really expecting an answer, I decided to be the messenger for her. I said what time do you get off? She said about an hour enthusiasticly, thinking this may be the lead up to a date for the evening, knew she wouldn't accept, but was looking forward to the flattery in it. Instead I asked, and what does your normal evening consist of? A few errands, make a sensible dinner, catch a show you are currently hooked on, feed the cat, get in bed, chat up a dude you have been takking to that you met on facebook dating? rub one out, brush your teeth, but then cave in eat a little ice cream, brush again, then bed? She asked what's wrong with that, as I had hit the nail on the head with another nail. I then told her your busy dying life happens most at the edge of chaos, it's where near life experiences happen, those are what people truly crave. If you are not feeling wanted but believe you have value, go do something as a hobby that scores the shit out of you. When you start getting numb to that find something else, trust me they are going to want to know what the fuck is going on in there, and they will want to be close just to feel the energy radiating off you.
Ask yourself, am I Tyler Durden or the other guy?

[tr****]

If you want to have better luck try leading the conversation, start sexual if its on site then fallow up with personally and life questions. If things go well go off app and be a bit more clingy then youd think. If the message message back say good morning, ask about the day there food make them feel special and taken care of. You will find love thats strong and healthy if your kinks match and you can hold a conversation and interest for a few weeks or until you meet. Then go from there.

[ni****]

I would say start with an interesting and unique message - to get someone's attention. Some like automatic sexual conversations, some people like to take their time. I agree with the above comment, people with more to say on their bio are putting more effort into getting to know people. It helps to start a convo & chat about things and find out more specific things about them also, so try doing this to your bio. Think of what you want them to see and write that in yours. Keep it interesting and honest

[Ta****]

I feel this more than any perspective I could give...following.

[Ne****]

September 26, TantricBDSMfreak said:

For better or for worse most people will judge the book by its cover. It can be hard to find those who are willing to take the time to see what's inside. At the end of the day the simplest solution is to work on what's exterior as best as you can. Fortunately, while you can't control how people will view you, you can control what present to the world.

It’s almost like the bulk of people lack personalities and brains for thinking and are shallow and don’t mean what they say and on and on - Wow. 😉

[Re****]

@NexumSange you are selling people short. Most people do have a surprising depth if you are testing the right pool. Yes, there are people who seem one dimensional and seem to need to be entertained. But the beauty in that is they ate waiting to be lead. If you are smart, just determine what you want from them and then cue up the music and get them to dance towards your wants and desires..
Just remember they may not mirror your immediate goals, like let's say they are not immediately hungry, they've ill be eventually. You may need to look for a different human need to bond with them until then, or you can just tell then you are hungry and they will need to work around it. Here is a big brain trick. There is a list called Maslowes hierarchy of needs. First air, then water, food, shelter, community...etc etc till you reach self actualization or some higher state. If the persons current state of their life is a mystery. Break out the list and ask questions that will show you where they are at.