re**** Posted October 1 Posted October 1 In my experience, many people seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to send d**k pics on the first message or open up with lewd or overly suggestive comments or requests. This is not okay!! Start with respect and getting to know the whole person.
Dorsetstrider76 Posted October 1 Posted October 1 Absolutely it is the Dom's role to respect and protect the sub. While disrespect/degrading might be ok within a role play scene even then limits should be respected and the sub should be looked after.
Sp**** Posted October 1 Posted October 1 A D/s dynamic is no different than a vanilla monogamous relationship Partners should always mutually respect each other whether it's a dominant and a submissive or it's two people living together there is no difference. As an alpha dominant of just about 37 years, I have a giant problem with the new regenerations calling themselves dominants, because they like rough sex or like their partner to gag on their d**k while getting head. That doesn't make you a dominant that just means you like rough sex. While some people in the younger generations get it I would say most don't. Your job as a dominant is to always look after your sub. But her job as a submissive is to always look after you as well. I could go on and on and on about my thoughts and feelings on this topic but I'll just end up pissing some ignorant people off so I'm going to stop right now hopefully I answered your question.
Xi**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 I try and teach new Dom's this every time. Your job as a Dom is to make sure your partner feels as safe and comfortable as possible. This allows you both to relax and actually enjoy the time. Yes you need to give them respect. Sub actually holds all the power unless you're committing a crime
Ch**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 Just cuz my little wants to jerk me off underneath the table doesn't make me an act of submission just because I give my little but she wants sharing is caring
Ch**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 There's many many different kinds of submission and dominance
He**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 Each person you potentially play with should be properly cared for and made sure they agree to everything. Do not overstep boundaries. Also make sure that they feel safe and comforted in your presence. Aftercare is also a big thing.
GT**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 A female Professional Dominatrix insight. I fiercely protect all of my subs (pro and personal). Ensuring that they feel, safe protected, wanted and respected.
ch**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 You're sub should always feel protected safe and respected no matter the subs dynamic
Th**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 20 hours ago, johnstown1975 said: I ask this because I am running across a lot of ladies who's profiles are telling men here that they need to be respected. That immediately telling what they should do is not proper etiquette but rude and insulting. I agree with this and why my question at the top. The reason you see this is because men here so often out of ignorance, arrogance, or both approach and treat total strangers as if they automatically are supposed to interact in their desired roles. I've experienced it from men on both sides of the slash here. Just because someone is *a* submissive doesn't make them *your* submissive. Same in reverse, just because I'm a Dom doesn't mean I'm your Dom. There is a certain level of etiquette that newbies and tourists just can't or won't grasp. *Yes, people of all genders behave badly. I'm not saying it's just men but this is a big issue from a lot of them on this site. I've seen quite a lot of inappropriate things from women claiming to be dominants here also.
DarkArts1066 Posted October 2 Posted October 2 13 hours ago, GT-66 said: A female Professional Dominatrix insight. I fiercely protect all of my subs (pro and personal). Ensuring that they feel, safe protected, wanted and respected. This. This is all that needs to be said.
dr**** Posted October 2 Posted October 2 My submissive/brat has all of my respect I treat her with so much care and love and Aftercare is always the best and needed but to have somebody who does everything you ask without question deserves attention devotion and love and care am I submissive also my wife and my best friend
ey**** Posted October 3 Posted October 3 Respect is very much a two way thing Also there are a lot of fundamental differences between M/f and F/m - and there's a problem some guys do in trying to cherry pick elements of M/f and apply it to F/m and ultimately it then comes across as not so much wanting a Dominant but wanting a Mother, which is a classic problem. It shifts a burden of responsibility onto a Dominant for little/no reward. The other also thing is while there are stuff folk might agree Dominants should do/be for *their* sub, for that to happen you first need to be *their* sub and not a random on the internet who seeks that, without first showing what value you'd bring as *their* sub.
fo**** Posted October 3 Posted October 3 I believe as good Dom. That you must respect your sub. For me it is about the control you give me over you, if you don't feel respected you will not be "in scene" you will not get the high you are looking for.
Ei**** Posted October 3 Posted October 3 There's a time and a place for these things. Clear communication can avoid all those instances of disrespect.
Ar**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 As a Dom, I believe it is your responsibility to maintain clear communication about expectations. It's just like any other relationship in that respect. If your Sub doesn't need a ton of care, cool. If they do, and you decide to be in a D/s relationship with them, it becomes your job to provide it. If you haven't had that communication and you haven't defined roles, you should NOT be making demands.
Ho**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 I've just had a bad experience as a new sub with a dom. I can see now, 2 weeks later, how he manipulated our initial conversations to make it seem like he was available and prepared for a long term relationship/dynamic. Said all the right things and made me feel all the right ways, only to now be inconsistent and find time and distance problematic all of a sudden. I didn't feel physically unsafe at all during the time I spent with him. I felt very nurtured and respected. It's one thing to respect, care for and protect in the physical sense. But you have to do the same with a subs emotions. I feel I have been emotionally violated and hurt and now I'm left to deal with it while he moves on feeling better about himself telling himself he didn't *** me to do anything, yet he ***ted a perfect picture and spun the best web of yarns that I would come and do willingly. The emotional impact is more ***ful than the physical.
di**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 A Dom should be mindful of the mind, spirit, and body of any sub. If you break any one of the parts of a person then that is *** not being a Dom. You are supposed to push limits with your sub but not at the expense of being abusive.
Th**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 (edited) 2 hours ago, HoneyBee88 said: I've just had a bad experience as a new sub with a dom. I can see now, 2 weeks later, how he manipulated our initial conversations to make it seem like he was available and prepared for a long term relationship/dynamic. Said all the right things and made me feel all the right ways, only to now be inconsistent and find time and distance problematic all of a sudden. I didn't feel physically unsafe at all during the time I spent with him. I felt very nurtured and respected. It's one thing to respect, care for and protect in the physical sense. But you have to do the same with a subs emotions. I feel I have been emotionally violated and hurt and now I'm left to deal with it while he moves on feeling better about himself telling himself he didn't *** me to do anything, yet he ***ted a perfect picture and spun the best web of yarns that I would come and do willingly. The emotional impact is more ***ful than the physical. I'm so sorry that happened to you. ❤️🩹 If you haven't started already, I recommend that newbies seek friendships with peers. Other submissives including those with more experienced and other women in general. Doms who don't fit within the category you're looking for as a partner and vice versa. Having friends you can check in with and who can help look out for you can be invaluable. 💜 Edited October 4 by ThaliaV
Ln**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 A Dom should never forget that he or she is dealing with a human being... with emotions, cares, and hurt able flesh. Some subs wish to be hurt and approaching limits can be stimulating, but care for a sub 's well being on multiple levels is a dom's first responsibility! Don't assume that because they wish to be owned or tamed that they want to be owned or tamed by you! Earn that right and the real fun can begin!
ma**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 As far as I'm concerned a dom should always take care of their sub. Myself I believe in not only aftercare but also in constant care for my subs as well as working to maintain the bond of trust. More to the point a dom must always respect the limits of the sub. But most importantly communication is key talking regularly to make sure the dynamic works for both parties involved to see what changes need to be made so all are happy and comfortable in the relationship or even with casual play sessions so yes a dom should always look after their subs mentally and physically at all times
Deleted Member Posted October 4 Posted October 4 Yes, why would that not be the standard unless negotiated otherwise?
Th**** Posted October 4 Posted October 4 Lol ok, well I guess it's a bit different for us female doms🤷.
NJ**** Posted October 5 Posted October 5 22 minutes ago, TheHuntress96 said: Lol ok, well I guess it's a bit different for us female doms🤷. Define “different”. Whether as a Dom or Domme, it should always be respectful. Any relationship regardless vanilla or dynamic should be an equal dance with a dance partner that fits each partners style.
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