Ways to Consent to Non-Consent

[bluebirdbitesyou]

As someone who, like many people, uses kink to deal with trauma, I don't like being touched very much unless it's on my terms. The issue arises, for me, in CNC. I have this kink, and had the idea of wearing different colored bracelets to indicate to partners who is allowed to have free use at any given time. What are some ways others might work around things like this?

[Deleted Member]

That's a good idea , you could also use a specific word or phrase in conversation too , call it an unsafeword lol . Hell you could even incorporate it into a roleplay scene ."the albatross flies twice at midnight" sounds a bit cold war spy movie but it works 😂

[bluebirdbitesyou]

10 minutes ago, hypnosubmaker said:

That's a good idea , you could also use a specific word or phrase in conversation too , call it an unsafeword lol . Hell you could even incorporate it into a roleplay scene ."the albatross flies twice at midnight" sounds a bit cold war spy movie but it works 😂

lol! i like this! i also though of the reversible angry and happy octopi.

[sa****]

I always like to have a specific safeword paired with a physical gesture (like tapping me or the bed three times), where either the safeword or the physical gesture stops all play. And we have a post safeword check in protocol. So like after you safeword, you actually know what’s going to happen - I’m going to stop and check in, all bindings off, water and blanket, touch or no touch, and that I’m not going to give attitude or even roll my eyes etc - so you actually know that it’s safe to safeword, if that makes sense. Tons of reasons for this but it adds an extra layer of control and comfort for the sub so that everyone can relax into the contained safe space even more

This may seem like a buzzkill to some, esp around cnc and free use, but in my experience, the stronger and deeper the safety protocols, the deeper the pleasure and intensity in the resulting safe container for everyone involved, again for all kinds of reasons I won’t get into here, but I hope this helps your brainstorm process and good luck! 👍

[bluebirdbitesyou]

2 minutes ago, san-carlos240 said:

I always like to have a specific safeword paired with a physical gesture (like tapping me or the bed three times), where either the safeword or the physical gesture stops all play. And we have a post safeword check in protocol. So like after you safeword, you actually know what’s going to happen - I’m going to stop and check in, all bindings off, water and blanket, touch or no touch, and that I’m not going to give attitude or even roll my eyes etc - so you actually know that it’s safe to safeword, if that makes sense. Tons of reasons for this but it adds an extra layer of control and comfort for the sub so that everyone can relax into the contained safe space even more

This may seem like a buzzkill to some, esp around cnc and free use, but in my experience, the stronger and deeper the safety protocols, the deeper the pleasure and intensity in the resulting safe container for everyone involved, again for all kinds of reasons I won’t get into here, but I hope this helps your brainstorm process and good luck! 👍

I love this. where do i find this??

[Mister-fox12]

Bracelets are my go to for subs too. Or collars